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Old 07-18-2013, 12:04 PM
 
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Piggybacking off the thread where the man got an ultimatum to marry from his GF. Why do women (in general) want to get married so badly? Why does marriage matter so much if its not really any different than a LTR?
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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Security, commitment, family, love. For the record, my husband wanted to get married just as much as I did. I've asked him before if he would have been okay just living together but not getting married and he said, "Hell no!"

I'm not saying that you can't have those things with out marriage - but that's what marriage means to me. If other people don't want to get married - that's totally fine. But I needed that kind of commitment from my husband - and he needed that from me.

Oh - and it's not the marriage that was important - but the person that I was getting married to.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:13 PM
 
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Because, for two people with equal incomes and assets, it makes financial sense.

Because men and women both gain status and respect from it, and this influences their careers. My ex was very surprised at how his (male) bosses at work treated him differently, took him more seriously, after marriage.

Because it simplifies inheritance and care of children if someone unexpectedly dies, or hospital visitation and health care decisions if they are incapacitated.

Mainly it's just that women don't fear marriage, so we are able to look at the benefits rationally.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:15 PM
 
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I don't desire marriage at all. I know I am not the only woman that feels that way either.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,360 posts, read 8,355,616 times
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[QUOTEWhy do women (in general) want to get married so badly?][/quote]

Thank you to someone who at least amends a sweeping, inaccurate generalization with the words "in general." At least that's an improvement.

The lower the socio economic station in life, generally the more a woman wants to get married. There are always exceptions.

Many of my female colleagues are 30-40 and have never been married and aren't interested. They are focused on their careers and making money. In fact looking back, I have known very few women who were obsessed with marriage and almost none who wanted to burden themselves with kids. But I'm sure in the Kentucky hill country, the opposite is the norm.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:24 PM
 
5,730 posts, read 10,087,188 times
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Power.

Guy single has freedom. Your life is your own.

When you get married you give that up. (not all bad) but:
Did you see the post in that thread where the wife said "buy me a bigger house or you will pay alimony".... It's like that.


The judicial system in this county is set against the man, and till that's fixed...
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
Thank you to someone who at least amends a sweeping, inaccurate generalization with the words "in general." At least that's an improvement.

The lower the socio economic station in life, generally the more a woman wants to get married. There are always exceptions.

Many of my female colleagues are 30-40 and have never been married and aren't interested. They are focused on their careers and making money. In fact looking back, I have known very few women who were obsessed with marriage and almost none who wanted to burden themselves with kids. But I'm sure in the Kentucky hill country, the opposite is the norm.
Great observations. I know several women in their late 20's early 30's in LTR's (6 years+) with no urge to commit. They are focused on grad school/work/career/travel etc. None of them have the crazy twitchy eye I see in some women. Maybe its a DC area phenomenon-women tend to be more career driven than family/marriage driven.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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For what it's worth, some of my most career driven friends were the ones that were the most obsessed with getting married and having children. It's not one or the other. I don't think the desire to get married and have children has any correlation with wanting a career. I think that's it's simply something you desire or you don't. Just like having children. You either want them or you don't.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:28 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,588,549 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Security, commitment, family, love. For the record, my husband wanted to get married just as much as I did. I've asked him before if he would have been okay just living together but not getting married and he said, "Hell no!"

I'm not saying that you can't have those things with out marriage - but that's what marriage means to me. If other people don't want to get married - that's totally fine. But I needed that kind of commitment from my husband - and he needed that from me.

Oh - and it's not the marriage that was important - but the person that I was getting married to.
This sums it up very well. A great many people want to raise a family, and marriage is a secure and comfortable environment for that. But that marriage has to be grounded in love, not just a desire to have kids or feel secure.
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Old 07-18-2013, 12:31 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,276,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
For what it's worth, some of my most career driven friends were the ones that were the most obsessed with getting married and having children. It's not one or the other. I don't think the desire to get married and have children has any correlation with wanting a career. I think that's it's simply something you desire or you don't. Just like having children. You either want them or you don't.
Agree. Its not mutually exclusive-marriage/career. What I am saying is they want to get married but are in nor rush, hence some of them have been with their boyfriends for 5/7/9+ years and have the mentality of "it happens when it happens".
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