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Old 07-26-2013, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,188,694 times
Reputation: 22276

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wry_Martini View Post
Don't need to.

Separate finances, plus I make more than he does.

Am I the only one offended by the question? (although, I could see some women doing it in an earlier era as a matter of survival, to have a small safety net or nest egg in case of emergency.)
I don't know if offended is the right word... The OP is a woman. I think this is what she might do and is looking for some validation. I think appalled is more like it!
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Old 07-27-2013, 05:04 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,624,182 times
Reputation: 53074
I have my own job and own accounts.
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Old 07-27-2013, 06:20 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,431 posts, read 34,383,529 times
Reputation: 19814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wry_Martini View Post
Don't need to.

Separate finances, plus I make more than he does.

Am I the only one offended by the question? (although, I could see some women doing it in an earlier era as a matter of survival, to have a small safety net or nest egg in case of emergency.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I don't know if offended is the right word... The OP is a woman. I think this is what she might do and is looking for some validation. I think appalled is more like it!
I was a bit offended. I truly thought it was an angry man because that is what had been done to him. Instead, it seems that it was a woman who may have done it.

I don't agree with it.....
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Old 07-27-2013, 06:47 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,479,158 times
Reputation: 10809
It's dishonest, basically, but sometimes it's still necessary. I had a friend who did this, but her husband was bipolar and when it got out of control could do really stupid things with their money. If you're dealing with abuse, you may also need to hide some money in case you decide to leave. As long as you aren't hiding it to steal in a divorce situation, it's often okay, and certainly it's okay if you keep separate and joint accounts. Keeping you own account is a good idea for just these kinds of situations, and it's not hidden in case of divorce.
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Old 07-27-2013, 06:56 AM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,291,702 times
Reputation: 62669
Quote:
Originally Posted by angrymillionaire View Post
Just curious how many wives here ""pinch"" a part of hubby's salary every month under the disguise of grocery shopping etc only it goes to your secret savings account/ safety deposit etc & if God Forbid you got divorced you would have secret extra cushion of ""stash" money he did not know about.


Thoughs? Is it okay to do this or idiotic not to?

ps: I dont know how but I wish I could edit my post to say do you secretly save/stash what is supposed to be hubby's income not marital savings
No secret anything in this home all financial information is open and available for my husband to see when he wants and he has access to any and all monies just like I do.

I understand why some women would have this money set aside, my Mother had to hide money from my sperm donor. I have a friend right now who hides money from her husband, if she didn't she would not be able to pay bills or purchase groceries because he would spend it all on liquor.

If the situation calls for it I see no problem with it at all if either spouse would do this.
If it is just to take money until you have enough saved to leave them and get divorced and take everything else, no I do not agree with doing this IF there is no valid reason to do so.
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Old 07-27-2013, 07:46 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,619 posts, read 81,316,164 times
Reputation: 57872
I remember the case of an opposite situation. A co-worker who had a side business selling used appliances an TVs and since he ha extra money would often get called by Payroll asking him to please cash his paychecks so they could balance the books. Prior to his retirement, unfortunately he died. When they contacted his wife to settle up his left over vacation pay and retirement benefits, she was surprised to find that he was paid every other Friday. She though all those years (30+) that he only got paid once a month. We never did find out any additional details about where all that other money went, hopefully she found it.
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Old 07-27-2013, 09:35 AM
 
Location: My House
34,941 posts, read 36,292,246 times
Reputation: 26568
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wry_Martini View Post
Don't need to.

Separate finances, plus I make more than he does.

Am I the only one offended by the question? (although, I could see some women doing it in an earlier era as a matter of survival, to have a small safety net or nest egg in case of emergency.)
I find it offensive. I'm with you there.

I've made more than a spouse before.

Current hubby makes more than me. We have separate accounts and joint accounts, but generally have agreed on which of us pays which bills.

If I put aside savings? That's my business. Same with him.
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When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
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Old 07-27-2013, 11:58 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
32,669 posts, read 48,129,403 times
Reputation: 78511
I can't really think of any reason to hide it. Tell the hubs that you feel you need a little savings account of your own for emergencies.

If the marriage is any sort of normal, that should not be a problem.

Unless you are willing to commit perjury, in a divorce situation the court requires you to disclose all your assets.
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Old 07-27-2013, 02:37 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 10,003,139 times
Reputation: 6849
OP, do you feel like talking about what is going on in your marriage, that you feel you may need to do this?
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Old 07-27-2013, 02:46 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,398 posts, read 24,473,730 times
Reputation: 17487
Quote:
Originally Posted by angrymillionaire View Post
Kikiki no one is answering this question so far lets take a minimum wage couple. Say as a woman you stash 100bucks more every month or to be more politically correct steal 100bucks monthly & say you got divorced after 30 years you would have 36,000 bucks more in your secret stash plus interest.
I suck at math, but I have common sense. No minimum wage couple will ever have much savings.

As for stealing/hiding/having that much extra money someplace prior to a divorce...doesn't that come out when you're dividing up assets? Any individual could hide secret money from their spouse. Maybe they do.

But skimming and saving the money for all those years? ...planning for what...? Planning to get divorced in 30 years? That's kind of weird.

More believable is that someone spent 36k on cigarettes, beer, and lottery tickets with the grocery money.
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