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It could have been a man being friendly to you. This happened to be a woman being friendly to you. Some people are secure and like people...and it is not always about hooking up...I remember a woman I was kind to and she got overly interested and insisted that "You hit on me" - I was just being friendly. I give advice to my single eldest daughter when she is dealing with men- I know she is a little desperate and lonely...I tell her - never expect anything out of anyone- do not assume anything- if you want to have a potential lover - go out and ENJOY their company - make friends with them...be friendly - and if it is appropriate the chemistry will take place on it's own. You can't make chemistry - it either exists or it does not.
Next time make friends without expectations of a relationship. This woman understood immediately that you were looking for more than a wave and friendship...that was clumsy on your part - friendship first - and sometimes love follows--------don't worry - you just lack a bit of skill - you will learn.
Big mistake. Become friends then you'll stay "friends".
Really? So you stare a guys you never met before and then make a point to say hello to them for no reason? If so, then I can't trust myself to know the difference anymore.
One person's definition of "staring" is another's definition of simply looking at them - for all you know, she was trying to figure out where you got your shirt so she could buy one for her SO.
As for saying "Hello" to strangers, including strange men, well, yeah - I do that all the time. I mean, I don't walk up to them and strike up a conversation out of the blue, but if we're in a waiting room, or a cafeteria line, or in line at the grocery store, sure, I may say hello and even carry on a conversation.
So at work one day, this woman i had my eye on gives me what I thought a blatant stare that looked like she was interested. Then a couple of days later, she sees me again and makes a point of saying hello to me in passing and smiles.
Then I see her in town. She was sitting at at an outdoor cafe with what looked like to be her sister or something because of the resemblance. I waved at her and smiled and she gave me a big smile and waved back. Up until this point we've never spoken to each other.
So the next day, in order to open a line of communication, I sent her a text on her phone (from the company cell phones we all have) and said it was nice to see her yesterday and I signed the text with my name and in parenthesis specified I was the guy that waved at her.
That was a couple of weeks ago. I got no reply and she barely acknowledges me now when I see her. So now I just ignore her. But seriously .. WTF? If she wasn't interested, I'd think she'd reply something like, "Nice to see you as well. Have a nice day" and I would have understood that to mean not to follow up. But no reply at all? I feel like such an idiot.
Depending on what's going on in their lives, women can run cold, warm, and hot when it comes to being interested in men. It's cold when you have no contact or connection; warm when you are sharing time, smiles, and laughs; and hot when you have each other's undivided attention and you both feel the vibe.
Your mistake was that you were trying to warm up to her via text, which was a turnoff and probably a creepy move if you've never texted her before, and so she went cold on you. Next try starting a conversation, even small talk, when a woman smiles and exchanges pleasantries that may suggest a more friendlier basis than just being "nice" to you.
As for women returning text, just accept the fact that there's a perception among women that they don't have to return a guy's text. Nothing wrong, rude or offensive with it in their eyes, amost like not returning winks and emails on a dating site. I still trying to figure it out myself but then again, I don't sweat it too much since I always make more progress in person. Women just have a different mindset when they text. go figure.
Some people like getting and receiving texts and others don't.
Question - how did you know her name in order to look up her cell phone number in the company directory? It doesn't sound like she told you her name, or that you've ever spoken two words to each other. In that context, I'd say if she was alarmed a bit, it's not surprising.
Then again - your little text would probably really interest a woman who was interested in you. So...there you have it.
There's the off chance that she never got the text. So what I would suggest is that the next time you see her, just smile and act natural - and if she smiles back, try to strike up a conversation. A CASUAL conversation, something non threatening.
I don't see what else I could have done. We work in different departments and we have no common contacts. Like I said, it was a very innocent text. I didn't ask her out or anything.
But you had already bumped into her a few times. It would likely happen again at which time you could have started a simple conversation with her to gauge her reaction.
I wouldn't be mad. From what you said, it sounds like you interpreted the signals correctly. But some people lead you, flirt, and its just for ego sake to get attention.
I wouldn't be mad. From what you said, it sounds like you interpreted the signals correctly. But some people lead you, flirt, and its just for ego sake to get attention.
It doesn't sound like this is the case for either of the people in this scenario though. I think it's just a communication glitch and nothing to get all torqued off about for either of them.
I've been in her shoes before. She was just being herself (nice) and you took it across the line by texting her. Don't text someone if you've never really spoken. Try striking up a convo at the coffee machine first. I wouldn't recommend texting until you've made concrete plans to hang out.
Stop dating women where you work. Don't eat where you...expel waste. Find a woman who you don't work with and you won't have this problem. Btw she can destroy you in court for sexual harassment if she doesn't like you so you should stop.
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