In the Friend Zone? Getting Out Of It? (movies, boyfriend, girlfriend)
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I've known this female friend for close to a year now. We talked infrequently in 2012, but started to talk more in 2013, and just recently we've been talking a bit more. I always thought she was fairly attractive, but it wasn't until recently that I started liking her more.
We talk about a lot of different things: school, work, hobbies, etc. I'll often start the chats (online), but she'll start them occasionally as well. Responses are pretty normal in length and there are a lot of "hahas". Recently I've tried to tease her a little bit in a flirty way (I'm sure I suck at it, but 'try' is the key word). I also told her X thing about her was kind of adorable (maybe that was dumb, but can't change things now). At least with regards to the latter thing, she responded with a laugh and continued the conversation. Sometimes she comes to me with her little neuroses and I help out. I'm not sure where we stand. Does she view this purely as a friendship? Is there anything here?
I'm not sure whether she's going out with anyone right now. There have been a few FB pictures here and there of her with a guy, but that's the extent of my knowledge.
She's definitely more outgoing than me, but what should I do here? I'm terrible at these things. I feel like it'd be embarrassing if mutual friends knew about my feelings (I don't even know why...). I don't have a whole lot of confidence and I have virtually no experience with women. I've been in situations like this with female friends before and they didn't end particularly well.
I've known this female friend for close to a year now. We talked infrequently in 2012, but started to talk more in 2013, and just recently we've been talking a bit more. I always thought she was fairly attractive, but it wasn't until recently that I started liking her more.
We talk about a lot of different things: school, work, hobbies, etc. I'll often start the chats (online), but she'll start them occasionally as well. Responses are pretty normal in length and there are a lot of "hahas". Recently I've tried to tease her a little bit in a flirty way (I'm sure I suck at it, but 'try' is the key word). I also told her X thing about her was kind of adorable (maybe that was dumb, but can't change things now). At least with regards to the latter thing, she responded with a laugh and continued the conversation. Sometimes she comes to me with her little neuroses and I help out. I'm not sure where we stand. Does she view this purely as a friendship? Is there anything here?
I'm not sure whether she's going out with anyone right now. There have been a few FB pictures here and there of her with a guy, but that's the extent of my knowledge.
She's definitely more outgoing than me, but what should I do here? I'm terrible at these things. I feel like it'd be embarrassing if mutual friends knew about my feelings (I don't even know why...). I don't have a whole lot of confidence and I have virtually no experience with women. I've been in situations like this with female friends before and they didn't end particularly well.
You are already in the friendzone. You are not going to get yourself out of the friendzone unless you make yourself appealing to her. In real life it doesn't work like John Hughes movies. You need to keep her involved but chase other enterprises if she is going to develop enough respect for you to find you attractive. If all else fails spill your guts to her, but you have a low percentage shot at it.
Make a joke on her comments of something she posted."Uh oh better keep that on the down low of your bf."
She may answer"What bf?" Or"Yeah my imaginary one"
I've known this female friend for close to a year now. We talked infrequently in 2012, but started to talk more in 2013, and just recently we've been talking a bit more. I always thought she was fairly attractive, but it wasn't until recently that I started liking her more.
We talk about a lot of different things: school, work, hobbies, etc. I'll often start the chats (online), but she'll start them occasionally as well. Responses are pretty normal in length and there are a lot of "hahas". Recently I've tried to tease her a little bit in a flirty way (I'm sure I suck at it, but 'try' is the key word). I also told her X thing about her was kind of adorable (maybe that was dumb, but can't change things now). At least with regards to the latter thing, she responded with a laugh and continued the conversation. Sometimes she comes to me with her little neuroses and I help out. I'm not sure where we stand. Does she view this purely as a friendship? Is there anything here?
I'm not sure whether she's going out with anyone right now. There have been a few FB pictures here and there of her with a guy, but that's the extent of my knowledge.
She's definitely more outgoing than me, but what should I do here? I'm terrible at these things. I feel like it'd be embarrassing if mutual friends knew about my feelings (I don't even know why...). I don't have a whole lot of confidence and I have virtually no experience with women. I've been in situations like this with female friends before and they didn't end particularly well.
You may have been friendzoned already, if so just keep all this in mind for next time. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be. Invite her out to a place she'd like to go to (bar, restaurant) and make a move. For example, I have a small selection of bars that I know women like so I always invite them to go there. Depending on how it goes, at minimum I go in for the kiss, but usually I invite them to come 'hang out at my place'. Point being, I let them know where I stand.
Also, don't 'help her out with her neuroses'. Never be a shoulder to cry on. Who cares if your mutual friends know about your feelings. If you put yourself out there and get rejected, sure it hurts but at least you have the balls to do so. The only people who would even make fun of you are the ones who don't take risks themselves. More likely, no one would make fun of you.
You may have no experience with women, but you'll never get any by never trying. And the more you try, the better you'll get at it.
Have you gotten together in person before or is your friendship basically over the phone?
I agree with the other responses about asking her out for drinks or a bite to eat. You may get more of a feeling on what she thinks of you and if she has a boyfriend. I disagree women are only after appearance. I understand there needs to be an attraction but sometimes a person you may not be initially attracted to can win you over with personality and that in turn makes them looking nicer on the outside.
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