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And the danger of taking what you've heard second hand at face value is that most people complain more than they praise, and people tend to make themselves the hero of their stories. So the buddy with the drama queen girlfriend probably isn't telling his friends about all the great and thoughtful things she's done for him, nor does he own up to his own part in any fights they may have. Anyone hearing him isn't getting the full story.
This is absolutely true. How often does anyone call the restaurant manager over to rave about how great their service was? How often does anyone stay on the line with their phone or insurance company and give a positive review if they are doing an automated survey? How often do they stay on to do a negative review? Even in parenting I've noticed that getting onto my kids for something they do wrong comes a lot more naturally than praising them for something they did right, even if it's a little thing. This is something I've really been working on lately, actually.
And you are so right about people rarely having the ability to honestly see when they are part of the problem. All good reasons to listen to others' experiences, but make relationship decisions based off of your own.
I go by trial and error in my own life. The situations and relationships that hurt me the most were the best teachers and I've tried to learn from my mistakes and not become jaded and bitter. And I certainly wouldn't let someone else's experiences make me bitter!
Well, I'd say that I had a great example of a healthy relationship in my parents. That probably helped a lot. Other than that - I go by my own experiences. Luckily, I've always been attracted to really good people.
This is absolutely true. How often does anyone call the restaurant manager over to rave about how great their service was? How often does anyone stay on the line with their phone or insurance company and give a positive review if they are doing an automated survey? How often do they stay on to do a negative review? Even in parenting I've noticed that getting onto my kids for something they do wrong comes a lot more naturally than praising them for something they did right, even if it's a little thing. This is something I've really been working on lately, actually.
And you are so right about people rarely having the ability to honestly see when they are part of the problem. All good reasons to listen to others' experiences, but make relationship decisions based off of your own.
This is an excellent point - if I'm on Urban Spoon doing a review, most times it means I've just had a really bad restaurant experience. Funny I intend to do them for places I really liked, but somehow don't get around to it - I think we're more motivated to spread the word when we're mad than we are when contented.
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Funny I intend to do them for places I really liked, but somehow don't get around to it - I think we're more motivated to spread the word when we're mad than we are when contented.
