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I JUST had this happen to a close friend of mine. They went on a first date that went wonderfully, and he asked her on a second date a week later. There was constant texting on both sides, and he even insisted on coming to see her compete in an event, even though he couldn't stay long. While at the event he kissed her repeatedly and followed up later with enthusiastic texts abaout how cute she was and how impressed he was by her. A little over 24 hours later (the day before the second date was to happen), he dumped her saying they weren't looking for the same thing in a relationship - even though they had not discussed that topic yet and for her part she was completely content to just see where things went. He said he was only on the online dating site where they met to make his mother happy. Oh, and whoops, he's sorry if he's hurt her but he figured it would be better not to drag things out.
Her circle of friends is completely mystified (and some of us actually met him at the competition), and honestly, I think to do such a shocking 180 is more than a bit cruel. I really think it crossed the line between uncertainty about one's feelings into outright deception. I mean, how do you do such a total and complete turnaround sooo quickly?
I know when someone acts "hot and cold" with you, meaning all over you one day and very withdrawn the next , it can mean they are not sure what they want. Could it also be a reaction to being unsure what my expectations are? Why do you think people (men) act inconsistent?
Why, IMO, and yes, totally cliche;
They just aren't that into you.
It is possible that the person had a bad day, or they are tired/sick, but those are usually pretty obvious.
Consistant hot and cold most likely means lack of interest at some level.
I seriously feel this just happens online. I really wanted to get back into real life dating; however, I haven't felt very comfortable with my efforts as of late. I just seem to run into women my age or are recently out of a LTR or out of a marriage. Not exactly dating material, or I'm running into available women that I feel are just too young for me. 29 has been just a really odd year for me involving dating. Maybe it has to do with me turning 30 soon, but I seem I'm too old for one subset and don't have enough life experiences for another subset.
I'm more intersted in dating a woman who's a few years older than me, but could be potentially difficult since I don't have any kid experience. In my area most of these women have kids and are a little leary about dating a man that doesn't have kids. I guess the presume that these gentleman have a better understanding of what it's like to have children and how schedules can change on a dime. In my dating experiences, I've liked some single mother's, but they had a hard time dating me. They seemed to get along better with single dad's, which I understand.
It just seems online dating is getting harder and harder to figure out and get comfortable with.
I JUST had this happen to a close friend of mine. They went on a first date that went wonderfully, and he asked her on a second date a week later. There was constant texting on both sides, and he even insisted on coming to see her compete in an event, even though he couldn't stay long. While at the event he kissed her repeatedly and followed up later with enthusiastic texts abaout how cute she was and how impressed he was by her. A little over 24 hours later (the day before the second date was to happen), he dumped her saying they weren't looking for the same thing in a relationship - even though they had not discussed that topic yet and for her part she was completely content to just see where things went. He said he was only on the online dating site where they met to make his mother happy. Oh, and whoops, he's sorry if he's hurt her but he figured it would be better not to drag things out.
Her circle of friends is completely mystified (and some of us actually met him at the competition), and honestly, I think to do such a shocking 180 is more than a bit cruel. I really think it crossed the line between uncertainty about one's feelings into outright deception. I mean, how do you do such a total and complete turnaround sooo quickly?
Don't some women do this too?
I see them do a 180 and you have no idea what changed??
I've no time for that, they either want me or they don't. I'm not going to put up with that behaviour, as a teen yes as a adult hell no. A man playing hot and cold over the age of 25 is pretty pathetic in my opinion
There's a common theme in some of these anecdotes. It seems like these hot and cold men were enamored with the idea of being with a particular girl, but once they are with her they realize it wasn't what they had built it up to be in their minds.
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