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Old 08-11-2013, 08:23 PM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,995,568 times
Reputation: 6849

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Huh. Am I the only person who read this and thought, 'This guy is not ready to date anyone; he needs therapy first'?

OP, the way dating works is that you find out the good points of someone right away, but with the most honest person in the world there are always bad points that you only find out later. Then you try to figure out if you can work with the bad parts. Don't be telling yourself she is some perfect human being.
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Old 08-11-2013, 08:43 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,146 times
Reputation: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by librarySue View Post
Have Mercy! i am not a beautiful woman but you make me wonder how many men I've been out with who were too nervous to call me back for a second date. I could have already missed the love of my life......because he couldn't make the call?

Please think of her as a human being who puts her proverbial pants on one leg at a time. Maybe she spent the day at the salon for your first date and doesn't always look so good. Maybe she snorts when she laughs or has a really high balance on her credit card. WHO SAYS you are out of HER league?????

You talked for 5-6 hours? Dude, if she doesn't want to spend time with you, she would have politely excused herself after the first hour. If you think you've used all your best conversational material...remember part of the point of dating is to create NEW material.

Choose one of those common interests, plan something that will not require more than 2 hours (don't go to the movies, plan something with an activity, I promise it is less nervewracking), then ask her out. If she truly has a conflict, you should attempt to negotiate a different day and time. As an adult, I really appreciate it when a man takes the trouble to PLAN something because so often men can't do that task and leave all the planning to me. I'd rather go out with a 4 who suggested a specific plan instead of an 8 who wants to 'hang out'.

Look at it this way, if she is interested in getting to know YOU better, she is agonizing over when you will call her back. She is waiting by the phone, why would you dis her that way? If you are a real gentleman you won't hurt her feelings by not calling. You will give her a chance to decide if she wants to see you again. That is the truly polite thing to do.

If you ask her, and she rejects you, you won't go on a second date. If you DONT ask her, you won't go on a second date. What have you got to lose? No one will know but you! (and us;-)

You are way ahead of yourself. Remember you can only date a person one date at a time. A second date might not be as good as the first, but it only has to be good enough to get a third date.

You will feel so much better if you just try.......
Well said...I'm going to contact her.
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Old 08-11-2013, 09:25 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,211 posts, read 107,904,670 times
Reputation: 116159
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRanonymous1010 View Post
I went on a blind date with a gorgeous woman above my league and everything went extremely well...She texted me the next day and she's shown enough interest to where I just need to act on it and set something up.

BUT I CAN'T. I'm making myself sick thinking about her and all the potential with this person. We talked for 5-6 hours straight and there was so much chemistry and common interests it was just amazing. But now I'm sitting here thinking about just never texting her because I'm afraid I'm somehow going to blow my chances.

On the first date, I wasn't nervous because I didn't know what she looked like. But now I do so I'm just up in my head about how gorgeous she is. So here is my question. Is it normal to be afraid of a second date because you are afraid it won't go as well as the first? And that it might actually ruin everything?

I'm actually at the point where I want to delete her number and just remember it as an amazing first date with an amazing woman. How messed up is this? Appreciate your responses.
Oh good grief! Don't be a wuss! And thank you for providing proof that women don't obsess over status, "league", and looks. They do go for personality. She's happy with you. You're a nice guy, apparently. So just keep on being you. That's enough, in her eyes. Just enjoy her company.

Sheesh! This is exactly what's meant by "fear of success". You're afraid that once you have a success, you won't be able to keep it up, so your inclination is to self-sabotage. Don't be a chump. The woman of your dreams is waiting.
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Old 09-28-2013, 11:13 AM
 
Location: NYC
2,427 posts, read 3,984,124 times
Reputation: 2300
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRanonymous1010 View Post
I'm actually at the point where I want to delete her number and just remember it as an amazing first date with an amazing woman. How messed up is this? Appreciate your responses.
in terms of self sabotage that's about 9.5/10

go on date 2, you'll be happy and a better man for doing so
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Old 09-28-2013, 11:38 AM
 
46 posts, read 99,142 times
Reputation: 55
Go on the 2nd date, Dude. I can't think of a single instance where talking for 5 hours is a bad thing, and it usually doesn't happen unless the conversation is pretty effortless.

I've always thought that when you found a person that being with is effortless, well then that person is someone worth looking into.

Just do it, because connections like this don't happen daily, weekly, or even yearly.
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Old 09-28-2013, 02:02 PM
 
Location: In bucolic TN
1,706 posts, read 3,309,269 times
Reputation: 2412
He never got past the first date.

The OP hasn't signed on since 08/12/2013.

This is a resuscitated post from over a month ago. It either went incredibly well with this woman and he has given up the computer for her or he never got out of his house, afraid the sky was falling.

Rest in peace, OP.
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