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Old 08-11-2013, 07:14 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,143 times
Reputation: 11

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I went on a blind date with a gorgeous woman above my league and everything went extremely well...She texted me the next day and she's shown enough interest to where I just need to act on it and set something up.

BUT I CAN'T. I'm making myself sick thinking about her and all the potential with this person. We talked for 5-6 hours straight and there was so much chemistry and common interests it was just amazing. But now I'm sitting here thinking about just never texting her because I'm afraid I'm somehow going to blow my chances.

On the first date, I wasn't nervous because I didn't know what she looked like. But now I do so I'm just up in my head about how gorgeous she is. So here is my question. Is it normal to be afraid of a second date because you are afraid it won't go as well as the first? And that it might actually ruin everything?

I'm actually at the point where I want to delete her number and just remember it as an amazing first date with an amazing woman. How messed up is this? Appreciate your responses.
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,838,486 times
Reputation: 25362
Relax! You just have jitters. Who is to say she isn't just as nervous. I know waiting sucks but try. Things will manifest eventually.
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:23 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,143 times
Reputation: 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Relax! You just have jitters. Who is to say she isn't just as nervous. I know waiting sucks but try. Things will manifest eventually.
Are you saying to wait and see if she contacts me instead? And I know, I wish I could relax..
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,222 posts, read 16,419,497 times
Reputation: 13536
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRanonymous1010 View Post
Are you saying to wait and see if she contacts me instead? And I know, I wish I could relax..

well, if she's got the jitters too, this is going to go nowhere fast.

Contact her.
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,838,486 times
Reputation: 25362
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRanonymous1010 View Post
Are you saying to wait and see if she contacts me instead? And I know, I wish I could relax..
Ok she already text you. Make plans! Ask her if she has any plans this weekend because you would like to take her to so and so. I don't know how she is but some like proactive men.
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:40 PM
 
33 posts, read 66,698 times
Reputation: 58
Agreed. Make plans!
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:43 PM
 
6 posts, read 8,143 times
Reputation: 11
I agree with all of you. I want to make plans, but I don't have the balls to and I'm making myself feel sick just thinking about making plans. I think I'll have to sleep on it and try it tomorrow with a fresh mind.
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:52 PM
 
2,546 posts, read 6,873,009 times
Reputation: 2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRanonymous1010 View Post
I agree with all of you. I want to make plans, but I don't have the balls to and I'm making myself feel sick just thinking about making plans. I think I'll have to sleep on it and try it tomorrow with a fresh mind.
Don't miss out on this.
Sounds like she may be the one for you?
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Old 08-11-2013, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Funkotron, MA
1,203 posts, read 4,079,863 times
Reputation: 1821
Quote:
Originally Posted by MRanonymous1010 View Post
On the first date, I wasn't nervous because I didn't know what she looked like. But now I do so I'm just up in my head about how gorgeous she is. So here is my question. Is it normal to be afraid of a second date because you are afraid it won't go as well as the first? And that it might actually ruin everything?
Think about this for a second.

You're actually considering turning down a second date with this woman. A second date that could lead to a third date, fourth date, even a relationship.

The alternative is that you had one great date... and that's it.

You had a great time. She had a great time. If you pass on this, you'll always be wondering "what if?".

If you're lacking the testicular fortitude to call her, send her a text right now asking her if she's free to get together some time soon.
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Old 08-11-2013, 08:07 PM
 
1,751 posts, read 3,686,955 times
Reputation: 1955
Have Mercy! i am not a beautiful woman but you make me wonder how many men I've been out with who were too nervous to call me back for a second date. I could have already missed the love of my life......because he couldn't make the call?

Please think of her as a human being who puts her proverbial pants on one leg at a time. Maybe she spent the day at the salon for your first date and doesn't always look so good. Maybe she snorts when she laughs or has a really high balance on her credit card. WHO SAYS you are out of HER league?????

You talked for 5-6 hours? Dude, if she doesn't want to spend time with you, she would have politely excused herself after the first hour. If you think you've used all your best conversational material...remember part of the point of dating is to create NEW material.

Choose one of those common interests, plan something that will not require more than 2 hours (don't go to the movies, plan something with an activity, I promise it is less nervewracking), then ask her out. If she truly has a conflict, you should attempt to negotiate a different day and time. As an adult, I really appreciate it when a man takes the trouble to PLAN something because so often men can't do that task and leave all the planning to me. I'd rather go out with a 4 who suggested a specific plan instead of an 8 who wants to 'hang out'.

Look at it this way, if she is interested in getting to know YOU better, she is agonizing over when you will call her back. She is waiting by the phone, why would you dis her that way? If you are a real gentleman you won't hurt her feelings by not calling. You will give her a chance to decide if she wants to see you again. That is the truly polite thing to do.

If you ask her, and she rejects you, you won't go on a second date. If you DONT ask her, you won't go on a second date. What have you got to lose? No one will know but you! (and us;-)

You are way ahead of yourself. Remember you can only date a person one date at a time. A second date might not be as good as the first, but it only has to be good enough to get a third date.

You will feel so much better if you just try.......
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