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Been there, OP, and there's rarely a solution. After many years of this, I moved on and found a better match in all ways.
Recent research indicates that libido for most people is inversely proportional to the length of the relationship. It also shows that the surest way to reignite it is to be with someone new.
Let me ask this: When people get tired of the routine in their relationship,
1. Why don't they discuss it with the other person?
2. Don't you realize that finding someone new, will eventually become routine as well?
Let me ask this: When people get tired of the routine in their relationship,
1. Why don't they discuss it with the other person?
2. Don't you realize that finding someone new, will eventually become routine as well?
1. It only works if they both want things to change - and often, they don't.
2. It can, of course. However, a good relationship can last without getting tired of things or jaded for over 20 years. Less good ones can often last 10. I don't think that would lead to boredom from frequent change.
I couldn't help but notice you said she "promised" to have more sex with you. That kind of says it all. . . It's like she's having to force herself to be intimate. Sad.
OP the marriage is over y'all just going through the motions.
You would put a limping dog out of its misery so time to do the same for your marriage.
I realise it's horrible and something no one wants, but hey, they invented divorce for a reason. You two could end up each other's best friends if you do it right.
It makes no sense to stay with one partner for the rest of your life anymore. The concept of marriage (until death do we part) is antique and no longer practical for most people. Just like we now have several careers over a lifetime, we also have multiple serious relationships.
Try not to take it all personally. You're just reflecting the changing times. We all want the newest model.
OP the marriage is over y'all just going through the motions.
You would put a limping dog out of its misery so time to do the same for your marriage.
I realise it's horrible and something no one wants, but hey, they invented divorce for a reason. You two could end up each other's best friends if you do it right.
It makes no sense to stay with one partner for the rest of your life anymore. The concept of marriage (until death do we part) is antique and no longer practical for most people. Just like we now have several careers over a lifetime, we also have multiple serious relationships.
Try not to take it all personally. You're just reflecting the changing times. We all want the newest model.
Why was the situation allowed to continue for so long that divorce is now the only option? That's sad. How can anyone even put up with no sex, or very little of it, for so many years?
Damn right I do. AFTER 25 years of trying to fix things. You sure do leap to unwarranted and unfounded conclusions, don't you Ruth? I've lost all respect for your opinions because frankly, your accusatory and negative attitude doesn't add anything positive to the discussion.
Look at the implications of what you posted earlier. That's what I was responding to. You didn't say anything about 25 years. You said it's inevitable or even recommended to want someone new after the passage of time.
As far as libido being inversely proportional to the number of years spent together, how would you explain couples who have been together 20, 30 and 40 years, who still have it going on for each other?
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