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It is brought up quickly if you're overtly hitting on her and she's not attracted to you. If you're just making casual conversation or if she's attracted to you, it probably won't be brought up.
You have a very good point. And there is a reason I say that I hate to admit it... it's because I know lying is wrong and I do feel guilty doing it.
I always just figured it would be less hurtful to a man to tell him you already had a boyfriend and safer for me as well. I don't want to make someone feel bad about themselves or rejected by basically telling them, yes I am single but I find you unattractive. Plus, some men are just not good at taking rejection and can get verbally abusive when turned down. Others don't take the no for an answer. Granted, it's a small minority of men--but it's enough to make me want to take the most non-confrontational approach to things.
I lie. It is easier. I have had way too many bad reactions if I implied I was single and not interested in that person.
The reactions have been everything from an endless stream of pestering questions to being cursed out, and even followed for half a block or a block while being yelled at/cursed out or something else.
I think that asking if someone is single in an semi-direct way is fine. "Hey, I would love to get to know you better, would you like to go out on a date some time?"
If you make your intentions pretty clear, it leaves the ball in the other person's court to say. Not interested, interested in friendship or interested in dating.
If you offer to "hang out," depending on the age of the person (or their personality) it could mean anything from a friendship, hook up or date. Very confusing.
Say I'm talking to a random woman on the bus who seems attractive. Should I early in the conversation ask whether she's single?
No, when you are in a phase where you "chat up" a woman on a place like that, you don't ask that question. You save it when you see she's comfortable and sends vibes that you might be dating her. "Do you have a boyfriend".
Reason for this is very simple. If you ask it straight away in an environment such as grocery store or a bus station, she'll likely say she has a boyfriend even if she doesn't. A small dose of insight will answer it for you why she'd lie. In fact, it sounds really dubious to even start attempting to date someone in the bus.
if she seems like she is open and enjoying your conversation there is absolutely no harm to asking.
if she gets offended, who care shes just some random person....c'est la vie
you guys are playing way too many inner head games with yourselves about what is proper and what is the best thing to say resulting in me getting laid tonight. if you are interested and you're asking for the right reasons...go ahead and ask.
Why do you care if she is single? What if she is about to break up with her boyfriend and is looking for an upgrade. Always, talk to her as if she is single, and if she wants to let you know she isnt, she will. Guys, sometimes I get the feeling that you dont understand the powwer of your attitude, approach and mind in general. If you approach an attractive woman thinking "she is too attractive to be single" or "she will probably reject me", you communicate this attitude loud and clear and your chances of success are very grim. On the other hand, if you approach with the attitude of "I am the prize, Im sure she will feel lucky that I approached her" your chances of success skyrocket.
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