How do you comment on the topic of weight gain to a SO? (attractive, call)

[TheBeagleLady]

Originally Posted by houstan-dan

To all those suggesting dumping her over this, I never considered it. Just trying to determine the future if it will get worse



I have been single 4 out of the last 6 years. I typically stray from committed situations.

The last thing I need is that again. I am basically a sex addict when I am single and I'm doing my best to move on past that life.



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I didn't suggest you dump her for gaining 10 pounds. I suggested that you might need to rethink just how important the weight issue is to you and if you really care about her as much as you claim to. You said she was perfect 10 pounds ago and would be perfect again if she would just get back to that, and you are less attracted to her. She is no longer good enough for you. Honestly, if I was your GF I'd be rethinking some priorities myself.

[houstan-dan]

Originally Posted by TheBeagleLady

I didn't suggest you dump her for gaining 10 pounds. I suggested that you might need to rethink just how important the weight issue is to you and if you really care about her as much as you claim to. You said she was perfect 10 pounds ago and would be perfect again if she would just get back to that, and you are less attracted to her. She is no longer good enough for you. Honestly, if I was your GF I'd be rethinking some priorities myself.

Ohhhh, so people cant change and become less attractive? Gotcha.



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[TheBeagleLady]

Originally Posted by houstan-dan

Ohhhh, so people cant change and become less attractive? Gotcha.



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Of course they can, but most normal people don't lose attraction and freak out over 10 pounds on a still healthy frame.

Why don't you just go and tell her that, at 120 pounds, she's too fat and you aren't as attracted to her and you think she will become obese. See how that works out for you.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by houstan-dan

Ohhhh, so people cant change and become less attractive? Gotcha.



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I think what we are saying is that if 10 pounds is making this big of a difference in your level of attraction for her - maybe she's not the right person for you. I can't imagine that if you were in love with her - that 10 pounds would make this much of a difference in your attraction to her. My husband has gained weight over the course of our relationship - far more than 10 pounds - and it hasn't lessened my attraction to him one bit. My weight has gone up and down and it's never been an issue for him. I'm pregnant right now and he still makes me feel beautiful. And he would never stray. I feel like when you really love someone - 10 pounds isn't going to make or break your attraction to them.

[houstan-dan]

Originally Posted by TheBeagleLady

Of course they can, but most normal people don't lose attraction and freak out over 10 pounds on a still healthy frame.

Why don't you just go and tell her that, at 120 pounds, she's too fat and you aren't as attracted to her and you think she will become obese. See how that works out for you.

Must have missed the part where I was "freaked out"

Also, she wouldn't leave me if I brought it up to her. I'd expect her to do the same to me. We can be honest.

People are funny in this thread. They are getting far more worked up than I. I was just asking a simple question.



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[GraciousVox]

10 pounds of mostly fat, in a year at the age of 19, means you have a budding chubby girl on your hands. She will probably be fat within 5-10 years. If you love her enough I suppose the weight should not matter. For sure though, she will get bigger.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by houstan-dan

Must have missed the part where I was "freaked out"

Also, she wouldn't leave me if I brought it up to her. I'd expect her to do the same to me. We can be honest.

People are funny in this thread. They are getting far more worked up than I. I was just asking a simple question.



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If you can be honest with her about this - then why did you ask us how you should handle it instead of simply talking to her about it?

[iknowftbll]

Originally Posted by GraciousVox

10 pounds of mostly fat, in a year at the age of 19, means you have a budding chubby girl on your hands. She will probably be fat within 5-10 years. If you love her enough I suppose the weight should not matter. For sure though, she will get bigger.

OP says it is a mix of muscle and fat.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by houstan-dan

Must have missed the part where I was "freaked out"

Also, she wouldn't leave me if I brought it up to her. I'd expect her to do the same to me. We can be honest.

People are funny in this thread. They are getting far more worked up than I. I was just asking a simple question.



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I understand your concern. Short women, in particular, have a hard time keeping weight off. And no, it's not superficial because it is a legitimate health concern. If you love her, you should encourage her to exercise and watch what she eats.

[houstan-dan]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

If you can be honest with her about this - then why did you ask us how you should handle it instead of simply talking to her about it?

I'll paypal you $20 to post a picture in a swimsuit.

I'm curious if youre speaking from a fit attractive persons perspective, or a defensive out of shape persons.

It's very relevant.


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