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Old 08-14-2013, 06:04 PM
 
11,868 posts, read 15,449,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
If tens pounds on any height affects your physical attraction to someone you say you love to death...her weight is not the biggest issue you have to think about...
I agree but at the same time I think he's right to admit to his issues with her weight now instead of later. 10 pounds quickly becomes 20/30/40+ and then he'd be accused of not speaking up soon enough.

I have no idea how to approach it, but I think you should be honest if you can't handle it.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:07 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 4,742,240 times
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Thanks for the good postings. She does probably have a bit of puberty to go through or something.


Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Yeah, the fact that the OP is a body builder who works out a lot doesn't really have any bearing on his girlfriend and the way she lives her life. She's apparently not a gym rat nor has she been. He can encourage her, but he can't really demand that she weigh in every day or come after her with a tape measure.
Well she is def active. We work out together and she does everything I do. Hell sometimes I don't feel like it and she pushes me to go. I rest between sets and she supersets with other exercises. Muscle wise she has made AWESOME improvements. It's just with it has come a bit of pudge lol.

I have just spent so much time building muscle that I eat a TON and do zero cardio since I have a hard time gaining weight. Works for me, maybe I need to sacrifice a bit for her. Just hard when I'm gone at work 10+ hrs a day she could really be consistent with it then.


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Old 08-14-2013, 06:09 PM
 
1,417 posts, read 1,738,806 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan View Post
Really nice girl and treats me great.

I know this is obviously very superficial but I work out a LOT and have for many many years and I'm in amazing shape to the point strangers even make comments on a very regular basis.
So you've got a "really nice girl who treats you great" and you're going to make her feel like crap over 10 freaking pounds? What is wrong with you?

As to the latter bolded comment, it sounds like you've gotten a big head.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:12 PM
 
1,417 posts, read 1,738,806 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan View Post
Just hard when I'm gone at work 10+ hrs a day she could really be consistent with it then.
An important lesson to learn in relationships (sounds like you're young) is that you don't get to control what the other person thinks, feels and does. Maybe you're not intending to do that, but getting freaked out over 10 pounds, as well as dictating what she should be doing when you're gone, as well as hinting she should go running to pressure her to do cardio is controlling behavior.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Midwest
706 posts, read 1,085,175 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan View Post
Figured I would start a thread here since I spend enough time here posting.

My gf is 19. We've been together a year and a half. Really nice girl and treats me great.

8 months ago she started working out with me. She's a pretty small girl. She's 5' and was 110 when we started dating. She is now up to 120. That's almost a 10% weight gain. I'm 215 lbs. If I gained 10% (20 lbs) that seems like a lot, to put it in perspective.

Really, if she got back down to 110 she woukd be perfect. When she picks up some cardio it seems to make a difference. However, she only does it when I ask her "are you going to run today?" We live together since I travel for work so she has more than enough time for that or adjusting her diet a little.


I know this is obviously very superficial but I work out a LOT and have for many many years and I'm in amazing shape to the point strangers even make comments on a very regular basis.

I love her to death and how she treats me, but also I just really need that physical attraction to be there as well. Thats not going to change so I'd welcome suggestions addressing the topic, not my personal views.

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You are walking on very soft ground here. I can understand your concern, it's 10 pound now but it can go up very easily.

I calculated her BMI and at 120, that's still a healthy weight, so I don't think you have an argument there. I would go with the stay healthy route and make sure she stays on top of it and NOT mention the weight gain. I'm sure she's not thrilled about it. Encourage her to cut out carbs and buy her a new iPod for running. I'd love that.

Oh btw if my SO posted on a public forum about my weight gain, there wouldn't be enough blood hounds in the PD to find all the pieces I chopped you up into and spread you across multiple states. Please don't ever let her know you posted this
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:13 PM
 
Location: New Albany, IN
832 posts, read 1,496,746 times
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OK, does your girlfriend work, as in, has a job outside of the home? Because in a couple of posts you make it sound like that, saying basically that you have to work 10-plus hours and travel often for business, while she has "plenty of time" for changing her diet and exercise.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:15 PM
 
1,637 posts, read 2,822,992 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan View Post
Thanks for the good postings. She does probably have a bit of puberty to go through or something.




Well she is def active. We work out together and she does everything I do. Hell sometimes I don't feel like it and she pushes me to go. I rest between sets and she supersets with other exercises. Muscle wise she has made AWESOME improvements. It's just with it has come a bit of pudge lol.

I have just spent so much time building muscle that I eat a TON and do zero cardio since I have a hard time gaining weight. Works for me, maybe I need to sacrifice a bit for her. Just hard when I'm gone at work 10+ hrs a day she could really be consistent with it then.


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Er, why don't you date someone more like yourself? Seriously? What would you do if this girl got pregnant and had your baby with a haggard stomach? I'd think after a year and a half you'd see things differently.

She's probably struggling with it more than you notice it. If you are seriously that concerned, why not pay to go to a nutritionist together? I really think this goes beyond skin deep though. It sounds like you just want a young 19 year old hottie forever. Bodies change, men and women.

And to the poster who said women can't take it, there's a difference if it's for your health. OP sounds like he wants perfection, judging by how he needs to share with us how into himself he is. He should probably just leave her alone and fine himself a gym rat while she finds a man who can appreciate her changing body.

The girl is becoming a WOMAN. Sheesh people. Are any of you medical professionals that know this girl? NO! We know nothing about her frame size either. I have a medium build and weigh more than someone with a small build, and less than someone with a large build. How big are her boobs? How much taller will she get? Is she healthy in all other ways?
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 22,551,927 times
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Honestly, it sounds like maybe she just isn't the right person for you. At 19 - her body is still changing. It sounds like you want the female version or yourself and it doesn't sound like she's it. I understand that 10 pounds on a smaller person is more noticeable than 10 pounds on a larger person - but I don't think 10 pounds should make or break your attraction to someone. I can understand someone going from thin to obese or pretty darn fat being a deal breaker - but most people's weight goes up and down some over the years. If a change this small is breaking your attraction for her - then I'm thinking that your attraction might not go that deep. I'd say that you should either find someone who you have a deep attraction for so that 10 pounds doesn't make or break things or find someone that is as into the way the look as you are so that they will always look acceptable to you.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:30 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 4,742,240 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayah(812) View Post
OK, does your girlfriend work, as in, has a job outside of the home? Because in a couple of posts you make it sound like that, saying basically that you have to work 10-plus hours and travel often for business, while she has "plenty of time" for changing her diet and exercise.
Nope. She doesn't work right now. I work 50 hrs a week. She does laundry, cleans, takes care of the dog, etc. I gave her a credit card in her name she uses for groceries (around $200/wk) we typically go over groceries together before she goes, but she knows what to get. I move for work every 5+ months and she comes with.

I have zero issue with this. I love her help and make more than enough money for us.







Quote:
Originally Posted by lmw36 View Post
Er, why don't you date someone more like yourself? Seriously? What would you do if this girl got pregnant and had your baby with a haggard stomach? I'd think after a year and a half you'd see things differently.

She's probably struggling with it more than you notice it. If you are seriously that concerned, why not pay to go to a nutritionist together? I really think this goes beyond skin deep though. It sounds like you just want a young 19 year old hottie forever. Bodies change, men and women.

And to the poster who said women can't take it, there's a difference if it's for your health. OP sounds like he wants perfection, judging by how he needs to share with us how into himself he is. He should probably just leave her alone and fine himself a gym rat while she finds a man who can appreciate her changing body.

The girl is becoming a WOMAN. Sheesh people. Are any of you medical professionals that know this girl? NO! We know nothing about her frame size either. I have a medium build and weigh more than someone with a small build, and less than someone with a large build. How big are her boobs? How much taller will she get? Is she healthy in all other ways?
She is perfectly healthy. She is around a 34 small C. She is 5 foot abd definitely not growing haha. I love short girls though. Granted my last two girlfriends were her weight and 5'8.

She LOVES working out with me. Sometimes she even goes without me. It's just the diet and cardio issue and its hard cause I eat a LOT so I think it rubs off on her. I don't blame her. We don't go out to eat a lot but I do take her out for dinner and a movie most every weekend.

As for the baby comment there's olenty of hot moms. I have no issues with pregnant women at all.



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Old 08-14-2013, 06:33 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 4,742,240 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
I agree but at the same time I think he's right to admit to his issues with her weight now instead of later. 10 pounds quickly becomes 20/30/40+ and then he'd be accused of not speaking up soon enough.

I have no idea how to approach it, but I think you should be honest if you can't handle it.
Exactly...

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