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Old 08-14-2013, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,109 posts, read 28,167,157 times
Reputation: 16308

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Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan View Post
Nope. She doesn't work right now. I work 50 hrs a week. She does laundry, cleans, takes care of the dog, etc. I gave her a credit card in her name she uses for groceries (around $200/wk) we typically go over groceries together before she goes, but she knows what to get. I move for work every 5+ months and she comes with.

I have zero issue with this. I love her help and make more than enough money for us.









She is perfectly healthy. She is around a 34 small C. She is 5 foot abd definitely not growing haha. I love short girls though. Granted my last two girlfriends were her weight and 5'8.

She LOVES working out with me. Sometimes she even goes without me. It's just the diet and cardio issue and its hard cause I eat a LOT so I think it rubs off on her. I don't blame her. We don't go out to eat a lot but I do take her out for dinner and a movie most every weekend.

As for the baby comment there's olenty of hot moms. I have no issues with pregnant women at all.



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Maybe you just have a skewed view of what women are 'supposed' to look like, because at 5'8 and 110 or even 120 lbs is clinically underweight.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:38 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 4,744,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitkatbar View Post
So you've got a "really nice girl who treats you great" and you're going to make her feel like crap over 10 freaking pounds? What is wrong with you?

As to the latter bolded comment, it sounds like you've gotten a big head.
Ummm I'm asking here so as NOT to make her feel like crap. I went out and spent $1500 on mountain bikes for us. It's just so hot here in the south it makes it hard.

My head is a bit big. Not in real life as I never talk about that stuff. I actual focus on my flaws to much but I know in general I'm way better than average shape. Just nowhere where I want to be




Quote:
Originally Posted by kitkatbar View Post
An important lesson to learn in relationships (sounds like you're young) is that you don't get to control what the other person thinks, feels and does. Maybe you're not intending to do that, but getting freaked out over 10 pounds, as well as dictating what she should be doing when you're gone, as well as hinting she should go running to pressure her to do cardio is controlling behavior.
I don't hint. Just ask her what she's up to that day or if shes gonna go for a run.

I asked her if I coukd buzz my hair off. If she said no I wouldn't. After doing it I asked her several times for her very honest opinion if she liked it. If she didn't I would grow it back out. Same with any thing. She will tell me if a shirt looks bad or something else or if I need to shave my chest or anything else.



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Old 08-14-2013, 06:41 PM
 
19,304 posts, read 25,954,667 times
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you're concerned with 120lbs???

last time a maine girl saw 120lbs was 6th grade..

if men up here had your standards, we'd all be single.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,467 posts, read 3,829,172 times
Reputation: 3423
She's her own person. Let her do what she wants. If you don't like it, feel free to find someone else.
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Old 08-14-2013, 07:01 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 4,744,167 times
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Lol. Pretty sure she would rather have me tell her than just dump her..

Obviously I care about her or I wouldn't have started this thread and would have just told her or dumped her..

Even with the 10lbs she's still amazing to me of course. I just also feel like it might help our sex life a bit too..



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Old 08-14-2013, 07:05 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 4,744,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Maybe you just have a skewed view of what women are 'supposed' to look like, because at 5'8 and 110 or even 120 lbs is clinically underweight.
I promise you that no normal/athletic person would look at either of my exes at 120 lbs and say they were under weight.

They looked like they exercised (though they didnt) and thats about it.



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Old 08-14-2013, 07:06 PM
 
14,923 posts, read 19,077,009 times
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If you tell her this, you're going to give her a complex that might last her a lifetime.
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Old 08-14-2013, 07:13 PM
 
1,422 posts, read 1,740,408 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
If you tell her this, you're going to give her a complex that might last her a lifetime.
Seriously. This girl has already allowed her life to become following the OP around. He moves every 5 months and she goes with him, and doesn't work. He tells her what to buy on the grocery list. Good grief.

He said she's 19, and now I'm wondering how old he is... kinda getting the feeling he's a bit older and likes having an impressionable young girl he can control. If she was heavy enough to make it a health issue, that's one thing, or enough that it made a significant difference in appearance. But giving her a complex over 10 pounds would be an awful thing to do.

OP, what if you were in an accident and no longer looked as good? Would you shrug it off as no big deal if she dumped you over it? Or would you consider that a mean, shallow thing to do?
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Old 08-14-2013, 07:21 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 4,744,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitkatbar View Post
Seriously. This girl has already allowed her life to become following the OP around. He moves every 5 months and she goes with him, and doesn't work. He tells her what to buy on the grocery list. Good grief.

He said she's 19, and now I'm wondering how old he is... kinda getting the feeling he's a bit older and likes having an impressionable young girl he can control. If she was heavy enough to make it a health issue, that's one thing, or enough that it made a significant difference in appearance. But giving her a complex over 10 pounds would be an awful thing to do.

OP, what if you were in an accident and no longer looked as good? Would you shrug it off as no big deal if she dumped you over it? Or would you consider that a mean, shallow thing to do?
You have zero clue. We go over the grocery list so we know what we need. She plans ALL the meals, with my onky requirements being each night she cooks 3 lbs of meat (she gets 21lbs a week) and then a source of carbs. Tonight was marinated chicked and potatoes. Last night was turkey burgers, before that, stir fry... etc. Etc.

Her age has little to do with it and I never shoukd have mentioned it if youre using it like this. My last gfs were 25 and 29 and my gf is FAR more mature in a ton of ways. If she didnt live with me she would be making $8/hr and sleeping on her MOMS COUCH. I'm hardly holding her back from anything. She loves our situation and she just reiterated that over dinner tonight when I very forwardly asked.

And an accident or health issue is uncontrollable. If she got in a car accident or had some health issue I would never in my life let anything happen after that as I would feel so terrible for her.

I get the vibe you are much more than 10lbs overweight so I can't expect you to relate. How tall are you and how much do you weigh out of curiosity?

My purpose of this thread is how to possibly change the issue withiut being forward or hurting her. 10 lbs is one thing. What about when its 30 or 40?

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Old 08-14-2013, 07:22 PM
 
12,538 posts, read 13,558,260 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitkatbar View Post
So you've got a "really nice girl who treats you great" and you're going to make her feel like crap over 10 freaking pounds? What is wrong with you?
I have to agree. Dan, I like a lot of your posts, but you're being ridiculous. Really. You haven't even gotten through a whole year's worth of holidays or all four seasons yet. You're not engaged. You haven't even been together long enough for her to gestate a baby. You may think you know her really well, and you may think you have a right to say something to her, but if I were in her shoes and you decided to talk to me over 10 pounds, or my weight at all, I'd dump you.

When will men understand that women's bodies are not public property to comment on or theirs to try to control?
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