How do you comment on the topic of weight gain to a SO? (dating, wife)
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Figured I would start a thread here since I spend enough time here posting.
My gf is 19. We've been together a year and a half. Really nice girl and treats me great.
8 months ago she started working out with me. She's a pretty small girl. She's 5' and was 110 when we started dating. She is now up to 120. That's almost a 10% weight gain. I'm 215 lbs. If I gained 10% (20 lbs) that seems like a lot, to put it in perspective.
Really, if she got back down to 110 she woukd be perfect. When she picks up some cardio it seems to make a difference. However, she only does it when I ask her "are you going to run today?" We live together since I travel for work so she has more than enough time for that or adjusting her diet a little.
I know this is obviously very superficial but I work out a LOT and have for many many years and I'm in amazing shape to the point strangers even make comments on a very regular basis.
I love her to death and how she treats me, but also I just really need that physical attraction to be there as well. Thats not going to change so I'd welcome suggestions addressing the topic, not my personal views.
If tens pounds on any height affects your physical attraction to someone you say you love to death...her weight is not the biggest issue you have to think about...
Is the weight the issue or how she looks? If she has put on a lot of muscle she will weigh more. Is she wearing the same size clothes?
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She gained ten pounds AFTER she started working out with you? Huh?
Yeah. Some muscle but also some fat. Ive gained about 40 lbs in the last 3 years. Mostly muscle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
She's your girlfriend, not your wife so you have no real right to expect her to answer to you about her body size.
The best thing, the only thing, for you to do is to encourage her and stay positive.
Believe me, she is not unaware that she has gained a few pounds.
But you should also know at her age, she is still growing and this weight gain may be perfectly natural and healthy for her.
Just have fun working out together and keep up some positive reinforcement.
Yeah that's what ive been trying to do. She's very receptive. It doesnt help that our goals are entirely different. I eat about 5000 calories of EVERYTHING and dont gain weight, so all the food and dinners and my diet certainly doesnt help her. I'm sure if I cleaned up my diet it'd help her too but I'm trying to build more muscle. Opposite goals.
You're probably young, so you're still in that frame of mind, but keep working out together and tell her you'd like to work on your diets together.
Also, people will gain weight, lose weight their whole lives. If 10 pounds is putting you off, you might reconsider the relationship. If you're not attracted to a girl who isn't constantly on top of her weight, date a gym buff like yourself.
She's still going through puberty. I have gained 10 pounds since high school.
My gf is 19.
8 months ago she started working out with me. She's a pretty small girl. She's 5' and was 110 when we started dating. She is now up to 120. ...Some muscle but also some fat.
Normal, healthy animals of all species reach their adult height (or length) before they reach their adult width. She is becoming a woman. If she stayed at her teenage weight, there would be something wrong with her.
If you're not attracted to a girl who isn't constantly on top of her weight, date a gym buff like yourself.
.
Yeah, the fact that the OP is a body builder who works out a lot doesn't really have any bearing on his girlfriend and the way she lives her life. She's apparently not a gym rat nor has she been. He can encourage her, but he can't really demand that she weigh in every day or come after her with a tape measure.
You pretty much can't comment to a girl. Their skin is not thick enough like guys.
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