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Old 08-19-2013, 07:16 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,608 posts, read 21,399,012 times
Reputation: 10112

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Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY View Post
brad pitt. giving hope to long haired guys for two decades now
Yeah but my hair is down to his 2nd button. But I am gonna take a few inches off soon I am just tired of it being that long. But....envision Brad half or a lot grey, which is common getting into the mid 40's up. Then look at that pic again where he isn't showing much grey and I think you'll agree the difference of grey or not makes a big impact on how others perceive your age.
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Old 08-19-2013, 07:19 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,283 posts, read 52,713,798 times
Reputation: 52788
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
Yeah at work I tie it off and when looking at me frontal I look like having short hair until I turn around to unveil that horse tail lol. I am actually gonna take about 3 inches off soon , to where at least it will only take 1 or 2 ties to pony it instead of 3 or 4. But I to will never be the clean cut type it just isn't me.

I usually dye it but haven't bothered in 2 months and I sense a difference on how people react to me with 50% grey showing, I especially sense it from women. Just been lazy to do it recently but gonna get rid of the greys soon again. Whether it is man or woman, dyeing the grey away makes you generally look younger.
I'm low 40s and I have really really dark hair... almost black and for the most part I don't have many greys... I have a lot in my goatee, but not much in my hair.... I have a shocking amount of grey in the beard.. but it's funny how it hasn't started in my head yet.... that being the key word... yet.... LOL
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Old 08-19-2013, 07:34 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
13,608 posts, read 21,399,012 times
Reputation: 10112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I'm low 40s and I have really really dark hair... almost black and for the most part I don't have many greys... I have a lot in my goatee, but not much in my hair.... I have a shocking amount of grey in the beard.. but it's funny how it hasn't started in my head yet.... that being the key word... yet.... LOL
I started getting greys in my mid 30's. I have never wanted to sport any facial hair but grey that way will make you look older maybe more than on your head. I guess genetics helps also because even though I will be 47 next month I have little wrinkles on my face and no crows feet coming off the eyes. On average people usually peg me at being latter 30's sometimes even mid 30's except when I let the greys come out. I am also lucky considering I don't gym out and eat junk food that I have a pretty flat stomach except a spare tire has formed around the sides some which would go away if I laid off the soda and chocolate lol...

Women make themselves look younger all the time, men can also with something as simple as dye. Actually I fret about my looks and perceived age more music wise and band wise, not as much to attract women. Go audition for a band and they are all young 30's and looking much older than them can get you being not what they are looking for even if you play what they play and play it good. And then there is that aspect out there in the job world also to some extent we have all heard how someone in their 50's has to start over job wise and their age is sometimes held against them.
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Old 08-19-2013, 07:40 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,283 posts, read 52,713,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
I started getting greys in my mid 30's. I have never wanted to sport any facial hair but grey that way will make you look older maybe more than on your head. I guess genetics helps also because even though I will be 47 next month I have little wrinkles on my face and no crows feet coming off the eyes. On average people usually peg me at being latter 30's sometimes even mid 30's except when I let the greys come out. I am also lucky considering I don't gym out and eat junk food that I have a pretty flat stomach except a spare tire has formed around the sides some which would go away if I laid off the soda and chocolate lol...

Women make themselves look younger all the time, men can also with something as simple as dye. Actually I fret about my looks and perceived age more music wise and band wise, not as much to attract women. Go audition for a band and they are all young 30's and looking much older than them can get you being not what they are looking for even if you play what they play and play it good. And then there is that aspect out there in the job world also to some extent we have all heard how someone in their 50's has to start over job wise and their age is sometimes held against them.
Age discrimination is something that I think about a lot... I work with a lot of younger guys... I never wanted to get into management and all of the guys I came up with are all in management and I'm the last hold out in the tech side of the business... so I work with a lot of guys in their 20's... and I'm the old man of the group.... so I get what you're saying... not the same thing exactly, but close enough.....

I have no issues dying my hair when the time comes and I like you don't have much in the way of wrinkles... I was always so oily growing up and I think that has helped me as I've gotten older.. I don't have any crows feet or wrinkles at all... Mrs. Chow was just commenting on this earlier today, so it's funny it comes up now... LOL...
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Old 08-19-2013, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
152 posts, read 295,981 times
Reputation: 391
I don't think it is necessarily a problem unless you are one of the following:

1. Being held back by some type of insecurity rather than simple "pickiness" which inhibits you from seriously perusing the sort of relationship you want to have. It's one thing to have high expectations, but it's another thing when those expectations become a convenient barrier to prevent you from committing.

2. Want to have children. Men also have a biological clock of sorts which makes planting seeds increasingly difficult with age. Not to mention age complicates your energy levels and might limit your ability to act as a parent. It's not impossible, of course, (somehow my older parents pulled it off) but it is more complicated.

Regardless, it should be noted that marriage is not absolutely necessary for one to lead a meaningful, fulfilling life and some people are quite satisfied with being single forever. I don't think you should be worried with whether or not society questions your choice, but instead worry about what will make you happy. If you DO fall into any of the above categories then maybe you should consult a professional counsellor instead of the Internet masses.
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Old 08-19-2013, 08:41 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,896,464 times
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Here's the thing too and that is many (not all)over 40 never married men are that way because they are unrealistically picky. I understand not wanting to marry someone with kids or even been married if they haven't but many still think they can get hot 20 something women. They can if they are wealthy or handsome possibly but these men I see expecting it are rarely either.
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Old 08-19-2013, 08:58 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,206,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
"
It's very amusing to see all the loser humans talk about their excuses for not getting married and having kids as part of their course of life. They even justify it and say it's their choice! Even the stupidest creatures on earth know how to have babies and keep LIFE evolving, yet we have these SMART humans who let their genes die because they want to travel the world or be debt free and rich! Remember, the reason you are reading this is because your life is a failure. You have FAILED! no kids, no spouse over 40 = FAIL
Posted 7/26/2013 10:34:38am
by AlphaDAD"

Well good for you alpha dad, guess I am not as traditional as you and society expect me to be. I guess being a traditional family man is your goal. I guess you like having family be your mission after working all day to support them. But it isn't mine, I have passions after working all day that leaves little room for family.


Well, I do think I failed society by not reproducing. The world needs more brilliant people such as myself, and there is evidence to suggest that intelligence comes through the mother. That is the great irony of people who are smart enough to be able to live life on their own turns and not blindly follow society like sheep.
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Old 08-20-2013, 03:16 PM
 
Location: SF CA, USA
4,187 posts, read 5,160,974 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Well, I do think I failed society by not reproducing. The world needs more brilliant people such as myself, and there is evidence to suggest that intelligence comes through the mother. That is the great irony of people who are smart enough to be able to live life on their own turns and not blindly follow society like sheep.
Have you tried asexual reproduction like splitting yourself in half to become two Lilacs? I hear the amoebas find that quite efficient.
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Old 08-20-2013, 04:43 PM
 
5,985 posts, read 13,129,718 times
Reputation: 4931
I have a theory as to why this article says that never-married men were once envied, but not are considered social pariahs.

First off, it is a generalization, but I think there is an ounce of truth to this.

This is my theory:

In the "old days" (whenever those were), it was not hard to get married for anyone. It was expected of everyone by their families, communities, etc., women kind of needed men, men kind of needed women. Even a couple generations after labor saving technology removed the "need" to have a maid (or a wife) to clean, cook, take care of kids, and a couple generations after womens liberation (and really there were multiple womens' lib movements not just the 60s), where they could aggressively pursue careers and be breadwinners, therefore not needing men.

But there was a time, when men and women almost always married, and almost never got a divorce, was simply because they truly needed each other. Technology (and absence of men fighting the World wars, and women working in the munitions factories, etc) spawned social change.

Those who did not get married up until a couple generations ago, were considered "pioneers", "rebels". It really took a seriously independent and individualistic person to not get married. They would have been seen as a maverick in a way.

Bottom line, neither men nor women "need" one another beyond the intimacy, romance, sex, companionship, etc in this day in age.

Today however, its different. Since women and men don't "need" each other, marriage isn't "necessary" or at least the cultural changes that took a couple generations to become unnecessary, they ONLY marry for love, sex, companionship, etc.

And in this social environment, you kind of need to be not necessarily "alpha" but you sort of need to be "the cream of the crop" for both genders, at least to SOMEONE. (beauty is in the eye of the beholder), so today, getting married is not necessary, but more of a mark of ultimate social status. You MUST be a high specimen of a human being if someone fell in love with you, stayed in love, and wanted to spend the rest of their life with you.

And I think thats what drives it today. Its ultimately validation. Yes, love, sex, companionship are also super important, but really these things can come from elsewhere. But today marriage has become the ultimate evidence that you are well-adjusted and a reason why others should like you and be drawn to you.

Just my two cents.
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Old 08-20-2013, 05:31 PM
 
Location: socal baby
1,355 posts, read 2,547,020 times
Reputation: 928
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
Here's the thing too and that is many (not all)over 40 never married men are that way because they are unrealistically picky. I understand not wanting to marry someone with kids or even been married if they haven't but many still think they can get hot 20 something women. They can if they are wealthy or handsome possibly but these men I see expecting it are rarely either.
While I'm sure that may be true for some, there is also the equally plausible possibility that certain men would rather simply remain single for the rest of their life than end up being married to someone that wouldn't make them happy, or a good spouse. I'm sure the same is true for unmarried women over 40.
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