U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 08-15-2013, 09:03 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
11,939 posts, read 19,383,599 times
Reputation: 8347

Advertisements

So read this article and discuss....

The Stigma Of The Never-Married Man: Details

Now there is some truth to the fact that I might be damaged goods in a sense because I have been set in my ways and overly independent. It is true that I am picky, and scared of it failing. Not true that I am gay, I have had my fair share of sex with women in my time, just never wanted to commit , except a couple I did but they didn't, never have had any inclination to be gay.

However in the article there is truth stated that men like me have witness the vast majority of our friends go through HELL in a divorce and that the percentage of our friends getting a divorce highly exceeds those that stayed together. In fact out of 10 male friends of mine I only know 2 that have stayed happily married through time. Now I can tell you that what those guys went through in divorce really DID make them damaged goods afterward.

Yesterday at a gas station I was blown away by a woman in front of me, she is my type that I would want to try to create a relationship with, but I was shot down by her in my advance. I won't go into details about what "my type" is but any of you that know me from CD have a clue. Its just that 90% of women aren't my type, of the 10% that are 7% are married or taken and that only only leaves 3% and of that 3% there is a 50 to 60% chance I am not here type. So I stay single a mess around as I can.

But read the comments after the article, I got love this moron who calls himself "alpha dad" quote:

"
It's very amusing to see all the loser humans talk about their excuses for not getting married and having kids as part of their course of life. They even justify it and say it's their choice! Even the stupidest creatures on earth know how to have babies and keep LIFE evolving, yet we have these SMART humans who let their genes die because they want to travel the world or be debt free and rich! Remember, the reason you are reading this is because your life is a failure. You have FAILED! no kids, no spouse over 40 = FAIL
Posted 7/26/2013 10:34:38am
by AlphaDAD"

Well good for you alpha dad, guess I am not as traditional as you and society expect me to be. I guess being a traditional family man is your goal. I guess you like having family be your mission after working all day to support them. But it isn't mine, I have passions after working all day that leaves little room for family.



Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-15-2013, 09:17 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
10,459 posts, read 21,500,929 times
Reputation: 14354
Well, you know yourself. I think you have a certain style that's not everybody's cup of tea. That doesn't mean you're a bad guy, but you could use a makeover.

Otherwise, why ask our opinion?
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 09:22 PM
 
1,751 posts, read 3,400,387 times
Reputation: 1938
I've dated a few never married men.

As I recall, there was a range. Some guys had been in Long Term Rels so maybe they don't count. One was really creepy and lived with his mum. One was clearly lacking some social skills and didn't live with mum. There may have been others who lacked social skills that I've forgotten.

I've dated a few guys who were married and had similar qualities. If they were married and then divorced, that's just different kind of stigma. Divorced guys might have the slight advantage of having learned from their mistakes. I know I learned a lot from being divorced...mistakes I won't make the second time around.

once I would have guessed men who never married and made it to 40 were just picky or players. Now I'm more on the side of---if they are 40 and never married there's a good reason for it. But Let's put it this way...I very rarely meet anyone who doesn't have some sort of disfunction.

Do you suppose widows/widowers are the only ones who are safe?
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 09:35 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
87,821 posts, read 81,562,175 times
Reputation: 91633
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking View Post
It's very amusing to see all the loser humans talk about their excuses for not getting married and having kids as part of their course of life. They even justify it and say it's their choice! Even the stupidest creatures on earth know how to have babies and keep LIFE evolving, yet we have these SMART humans who let their genes die because they want to travel the world or be debt free and rich! Remember, the reason you are reading this is because your life is a failure. You have FAILED! no kids, no spouse over 40 = FAIL
Posted 7/26/2013 10:34:38am
by AlphaDAD"
With a friend like alpha dad, who needs enemies? I see no problem with never-married guys over 40. What a silly issue. It sounds like a Seinfeld routine, or something. Don't give it another thought, LK.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 09:39 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
11,939 posts, read 19,383,599 times
Reputation: 8347
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post

Otherwise, why ask our opinion?
Because the article interested me, because it pertains to me and because I am not the only man out there like this. Also because according to studies less and less men are getting married and because according to studies divorce is highly probable and how is it that a man who looses a marriage is not considered a failure which said divorce often leaves the man at a financial state or stage in life where it is hard for him to rebuild a life yet someone like me who has been independent through out life and is fully capable of standing on my own is considered damaged or a failure?

Also , I ask because tonight I didn't feel like playing guitar for a change and wanted to gab instead. I could possibly need a "make over" in some people's eyes but what exactly does such a make over mean, does it mean submission?, if so then no thanks.

Actually I did try a make over once. I cut my hair, started looking like everybody else in society, listened to someone that said " get a career that has a " future" and a pension and all that. I looked into becoming a cop (lol!) , a paramedic , prison guard, even considered joining the military. I didn't in the end thank gawd, specially the cop part, but in that time span while listening to others tell me "be like this, be like that" I was lost to who I was and truly unhappy because. Lesson learned from it was be true to yourself and when I became again I became happier again.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Texas
4,936 posts, read 7,145,261 times
Reputation: 5512
Paging IDDY!
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2013, 11:35 PM
 
10,024 posts, read 9,823,853 times
Reputation: 5917
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Paging IDDY!
Lol.

I see nothing wrong with a never married over 40 guys, anymore than a guy who has been married. Sure, some have issues but some divorced and widowed men do too. It's part of our messed up society that glorifies divorce while stigmatizing never married.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2013, 12:19 AM
 
302 posts, read 271,623 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
With a friend like alpha dad, who needs enemies? I see no problem with never-married guys over 40. What a silly issue. It sounds like a Seinfeld routine, or something. Don't give it another thought, LK.
This.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2013, 12:21 AM
 
484 posts, read 1,443,809 times
Reputation: 1448
Actually, if you're a guy who's over a certain age and never married, and you're very eligible, the stigma you have is of being a player or a liar who's actually married/divorced. I have to convince every woman that I'm not actually married. Some women go to greath lengths to try to figure this out, too.

And for those women who do decide to give you a chance, you can tell they're very cautious and suspicious, sometimes asking trick questions. Like one woman was asking me about babies that apparently only a dad would know. Another wanted to see the deed of trust to my house (to see if my spouse was on it). LOL

But the silver lining is that it's easier to invite them over to your house or on a trip somewhere because they want to know for sure you're not married, and this is the best proof
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-16-2013, 12:22 AM
 
35,104 posts, read 44,277,746 times
Reputation: 62297
The men that never married that I personally know did not marry because they did not want to. They have all had very normal productive lives, successful careers and long term relationships. They just did not want to marry nor did they want to live with someone, they wanted their own home and to share their lives with someone who also did not want to marry nor have children.

There is nothing wrong with their choices, they were/are quite happy with their lives and their female friends stuck around for many years so I would say they were happy with their lives as well.
Rate this post positively Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top