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You teach people how to treat you...just food for thought.
I'm curious how much you consider a "huge" child support payment to be.
I'm also curious to know how much money you think it takes to care for
a child without drastically changing their standard of living.
A very good majority Of parents receiving child support are not going to have extra money to live the high life. In many, many cases child support doesn't even come close to covering output.
I think a lot of times people who don't have children don't understand how much they actually cost. They just think about feeding them - they don't understand how much clothes, toys (unless you don't want your children to have any fun anymore after a divorce), classes (even pre-school - not just music lessons or swim classes), medicine, etc. cost. It's not just a few extra meals and a couple t-shirts.
You teach people how to treat you...just food for thought.
I'm curious how much you consider a "huge" child support payment to be.
I'm also curious to know how much money you think it takes to care for
a child without drastically changing their standard of living.
A very good majority Of parents receiving child support are not going to have extra money to live the high life. In many, many cases child support doesn't even come close to covering output.
Their quality of life will change, that's what happens when mom leaves and gets a new bf. Child support should only be to provide for 50% of the childs BASIC needs but the courts have turned it into a quality of life issue, maybe she should have stayed and given her husband sex if she wanted the kid and herself to have that same quality of life, the courts treat it like an entitlement and then everyone wonders why we are falling apart.
Their quality of life will change, that's what happens when mom leaves and gets a new bf. Child support should only be to provide for 50% of the childs BASIC needs but the courts have turned it into a quality of life issue, maybe she should have stayed and given her husband sex if she wanted the kid and herself to have that same quality of life, the courts treat it like an entitlement and then everyone wonders why we are falling apart.
Most fathers actually care about their children and care about providing them with more than just food and water. Well, good fathers, anyway. And sex shouldn't be a necessary payment for a man to be a good father.
I think a lot of times people who don't have children don't understand how much they actually cost. They just think about feeding them - they don't understand how much clothes, toys (unless you don't want your children to have any fun anymore after a divorce), classes (even pre-school - not just music lessons or swim classes), medicine, etc. cost. It's not just a few extra meals and a couple t-shirts.
Yep life should change when mom wants to go get a new bf because she is "unhappy", no more expensvie toys that dad bought, no more expensive extra ciriculars, etc. We live in lala land here in the usa. I would be curious to see what the GDP trend looks like over the last 50 years here in the usa.
Yep life should change when mom wants to go get a new bf because she is "unhappy", no more expensvie toys that dad bought, no more expensive extra ciriculars, etc. We live in lala land here in the usa.
You aren't a father. Right now, your money is the most important thing to you. When you have children - that changes. You don't punish the children because of a failed relationship between the parents.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I think a lot of times people who don't have children don't understand how much they actually cost. They just think about feeding them - they don't understand how much clothes, toys (unless you don't want your children to have any fun anymore after a divorce), classes (even pre-school - not just music lessons or swim classes), medicine, etc. cost. It's not just a few extra meals and a couple t-shirts.
You aren't a father. Right now, your money is the most important thing to you. When you have children - that changes. You don't punish the children because of a failed relationship between the parents.
I think it depends on the man and how closely his money is tied to his ability to get sex. IF the guy in the failed relationship can go out and get a woman he desires in a few weeks like most women can do then it may not be an issue, but if he needs his full income to get laid then its going to be a problem.
When I think about how hard it would be to be a single mom - I just get overwhelmed. Our son is only 2 (well, in a few days he will be!) and he's expensive! He's worth every little penny but he's expensive! I can't imagine trying to make ends meet on my own - in addition to taking care of him and finding child care while I'm at work. I have nothing but respect for single moms that can someone do it all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2
I think it depends on the man and how closely his money is tied to his ability to get sex. IF the guy in the failed relationship can go out and get a woman he desires in a few weeks like most women can do then it may not be an issue, but if he needs his full income to get laid then its going to be a problem.
Once again - you don't have children. If you are a good father - then money ceases to be the most important thing in your life. And your sex life has nothing to do with the lives of your children - except for the sex that was needed to bring them into existence, unless they were adopted.
I think it depends on the man and how closely his money is tied to his ability to get sex. IF the guy in the failed relationship can go out and get a woman he desires in a few weeks like most women can do then it may not be an issue, but if he needs his full income to get laid then its going to be a problem.
If a man doesn't want to pay child support, why doesn't he attempt to get 50/50 custody or full custody of them? Oh wait. It's about that getting laid thing isn't it.
So its ok for a woman to marry a guy, have kids with him then stop having sex divorce and treat the guy like an atm?
Did I say he was the only person at fault? And who knows if that is even what she did anyway.
Let's go through the facts here.
The kids and the wife don't want a divorce. The kids are torn up about it, and they cry over it. The live in fear over the arguments this couple has.
He is lying to all parties. He has the wife jumping through hoops thinking this will save her marriage. The kids are holding on to false hope, only to be blindsided later by their father's lie.
Meanwhile, his mind is made up. He refuses to even consider a legit run at making it work through counseling.
Forget the wife. What message is he sending to his kids? It's okay to string people along? It's okay to stress out your kids and have them crying at night holding on to hope you know is futile?
So is that the way he wants the kids to see relationships? Is that how he wants the kids to think people who love you and have pledged to protect you should treat you? Their mental health is second to his wants? His anger at his wife is the most important thing for everyone?
That is a bunch of BS. Forget the tit-for-tat "well she's wrong too" crapola. Who cares. He is still doing an incredibly screwed up thing. He is on control of his own behavior, it's not like she has him under hypnosis.
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