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Truthfully, it's hard to 100% get over an ex you were really into until you find someone new who's even better. Even if it might be discouraging at first, keep dating around until you find someone who really sweeps you off your feet.
Don't know what to tell you other than at this point, your misery is self-generated. It wasn't a match. When he comes into your mind, push it away. It's a choice, now. Choose not to be miserable.
EXACTLY.
Not everyone "gets" this, but once they do they can move on
I agree ! You just keep yourself occupied. Especially when the old hurt starts to come.
And every time it finds it way into your mind think of a codeword to yourself to remember NOT to dwell on it.
You can retrain yourself to focus on other things.
Before you know it, it will be hours, then days and then weeks since you touched in on it, and life does go on.
You are missing him not because of who he was but because of who you WISH he was. And only once you acknowledge that can you really move on.
Fill your time with productive things like working out, take a course etc seems like you have too much free time to sit & fantasize about the past.
Also if you have any ""daddy issues"" see a therapist. Good luck.
I agree with this and with Tele-Cat's advice.
You are not seeing your Ex for who he really was. If you were, you'd not miss him one bit and would in fact be grateful you dodged a bullet. Your Ex can never make you happy. You are incompatible.
Question for you. How's your life right now? Do you have a full life?
I have discovered that when one centers their entire happiness on a partner, they have a really difficult time coping or accepting their life, when that relationship breaks. They spend a good deal of time fantasizing about the previous partner and glossing over their faults. This delays moving on.
I agree with this and with Tele-Cat's advice.
You are not seeing your Ex for who he really was. If you were, you'd not miss him one bit and would in fact be grateful you dodged a bullet. Your Ex can never make you happy. You are incompatible.
Your ex had no interest whatsoever in making you happy, OP. He was all about him. As this poster says, you dodged a bullet. Try to view it that way. You'll feel a lot better.
He was not commitment phobic, he just wasnt in love with you and didnt want a relationship with you. Were you sleeping with him? If so, that is all he wanted. He didnt even friend you on Facebook? He didnt want someone knowing he was sleeping with you.
We argued because I found out he was flirting with other women, because he wouldn't add me on Facebook, tell his friends about me, and even argued with me about seeing me at the weekend - he said the weekend was 'his time with his friends'.
he only ever wanted to see me on his terms, wouldn't meet my friends and kept me really compartmentalized from the rest of his life.
OMG, he did you a huge favor. You wanted to be with a guy who wanted to pretend YOU DON'T EXIST!
You weren't pressuring him for a commitment, you were pressuring him to actually acknowledge you at all. That is not a relationship. That is a one way obsession.
I suggest you cut off all contact with him before he has you arrested for stalking.
Six months of being treated like the other woman and you just miss that so much?
Are you sure you weren't ACTUALLY his other woman?
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To be honest, nothing would surprise me at this point. He used to always bring it up if I left anything at his place (and I never left anything bigger than a hairband) and he hid all my feminine products out of sight, saying that he 'didn't want his friends to see them if they came over'.
Seeing all this in black and white is a bit of a slap in the face for me, as I didn't realise how badly I was actually being treated. But he obviously didn't treat me like this 100% of the time or I wouldn't have stuck around - he was also very loving, affectionate and attentive (in public & in private) and used to absolutely spoil me (my birthday and valentines day were both pretty epic). We completely clicked, and thats the guy I miss. But most of you are right, I do appear to have dodged a bullet. I would have hated to have wasted a year or longer on him.
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