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Old 08-26-2013, 01:27 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,561 posts, read 40,114,343 times
Reputation: 28547

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Quote:
Originally Posted by psichick View Post
No offense, but you sound like those women, who are in abusive relationships, who say that all men abuse them, and yet, it's those men that they subconsciously seek out. You know the type. Women who are abused (for a long period of time), don't know any different, so it's what they seek out (same with men).
Who said I was abused? I didn't say that.

Quote:
I have walked a mile in your shoes. Been burned up the yahoo in my life. I'm cynical, untrusting, and hate all the BS that comes with dating. However, even I'm not as bitter as you are. So, sorry, I'd have to agree with the PP, you are like this because you CHOOSE to be like this. You may also be finding the players, because maybe that's what you're subconsciously looking for, so you can say, "see, I told you, they're all pigs". Self-fulfilling prophecy and all.
You don't know me well enough to make that assumption.

Quote:
I used to be in that same position. Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself and blaming the men, I started to take a good hard look at myself and the men I chose to date. What attracted me to them, why was I always going for the guys that wanted only sex, would play games, etc. In the end, I realized that I was in fact, looking for that type of person because I didn't want to truly get close to anyone (been hurt too much, was scared to be vulnerable, blah blah blah). And by choosing those types of men (I can spot them a mile away now), I didn't have to get close or let them in, because I knew, in the end, they'd just be pigs.
Oh, I've tried all sorts of guys. I'll give anyone a first chance. Even a second chance. It always ends up the same. A friend of mine recently set me up with a friend of hers...we started off pretty hot, with him chasing me hard...then all of a sudden he went ice cold and has been frosty for a week now. Why? I have no idea. It's frustrating, since I went into it with an open mind and expecting nothing, but this kind of behavior is juvenile and irritating.

Quote:
That's my story, I'm not saying it's yours.
You pretty much are, actually.

Quote:
Lastly, have you ever thought that maybe all the men in DFW are sick and tired of cynical women, like you, who believe they're all pigs even if they're not? So the good ones stay away from women like you. Many of my male friends tell me they can tell within a date or two if a woman is cynical, has been burnt, and overall hates the male species. So they end contact because they're good guys who don't feel they should have to prove themselves, because you've been burned in the past.

Think about it.
Shrug. I don't sit there on first, second, third etc. dates talking about how men are pigs, how they've burned me, etc. I don't discuss prior relationships or dating experiences. It's not my fault I've been burned. It's the burners' fault. It's not like I tie myself up with these guys for extended periods of time. Once I see someone's a player, I stop seeing them. However, they usually cease contact with me first. They act like they're into me, but then they freeze me out.

I get sick of the head games, and I also get sick of people telling me it's all my fault.
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Old 08-26-2013, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,771,382 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I don't discuss prior relationships or dating experiences. It's not my fault I've been burned. It's the burners' fault. They act like they're into me, but then they freeze me out.

I get sick of the head games, and I also get sick of people telling me it's all my fault.
Ditto. This is exactly my experience with women. I agree with you, its not your fault. Its just so hard to find the right person.
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Old 08-26-2013, 01:33 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,561 posts, read 40,114,343 times
Reputation: 28547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Ditto. This is exactly my experience with women. I agree with you, its not your fault. Its just so hard to find the right person.
Finally, someone who gets it!

FWIW, not all women are game players either. I don't know what it's like from a man's POV because I don't date women. But I've heard some stories from men. Stories that make me think "Gawd, women like that are RUINING IT for the rest of us!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Old 08-26-2013, 02:11 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,952,823 times
Reputation: 20084
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post


It's not my fault I've been burned. It's the burners' fault. It's not like I tie myself up with these guys for extended periods of time. Once I see someone's a player, I stop seeing them. However, they usually cease contact with me first. They act like they're into me, but then they freeze me out.

I get sick of the head games, and I also get sick of people telling me it's all my fault.
I don't think it's your fault you got burned. We've all been there; people can be ****ty.

Your fault lies in letting it make you bitter and leaving you lonely. You're a self fulfilling prophecy now because no man will want to date you when he discovers the giant chip on your shoulder - but I'm sure you'll blame him for not sticking around, right?
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Old 08-26-2013, 02:26 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,561 posts, read 40,114,343 times
Reputation: 28547
Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
I don't think it's your fault you got burned. We've all been there; people can be ****ty.

Your fault lies in letting it make you bitter and leaving you lonely. You're a self fulfilling prophecy now because no man will want to date you when he discovers the giant chip on your shoulder - but I'm sure you'll blame him for not sticking around, right?
You don't know me well enough to say that. My friends are utterly bewildered as to why I'm single and why I have such bad luck with men...even ones that they set me up with. I've had friends who ended friendships with men over how they treated me.

I'm moderately cute, smart, funny, I support myself, I'm not a psycho or a drama queen. Mostly I'm just sick to death of getting hurt, but I still stupidly open myself up to it from time to time. Hoping this time will be different. Hoping this one isn't like the rest. But in the end, they always are. And time goes by, and I forget how hurtful it was, and I open myself up again. Same thing.

You don't know me from a hole in the ground, so don't assume a goddamn thing about me or my attitude. All you see here is what I choose to reveal. You don't know a thing.
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Old 08-26-2013, 02:33 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,952,823 times
Reputation: 20084
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
You don't know me well enough to say that. My friends are utterly bewildered as to why I'm single and why I have such bad luck with men...even ones that they set me up with. I've had friends who ended friendships with men over how they treated me.

I'm moderately cute, smart, funny, I support myself, I'm not a psycho or a drama queen. Mostly I'm just sick to death of getting hurt, but I still stupidly open myself up to it from time to time. Hoping this time will be different. Hoping this one isn't like the rest. But in the end, they always are. And time goes by, and I forget how hurtful it was, and I open myself up again. Same thing.

You don't know me from a hole in the ground, so don't assume a goddamn thing about me or my attitude. All you see here is what I choose to reveal. You don't know a thing.
I can only take from you what you choose to show here. If you choose to be hostile, which you appear to be most of the time, don't get upset when people say you could use an attitude adjustment.

I'm sure you're just frustrated. It happens. I hope you are not this angry in real life as it is detrimental to your health.
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Old 08-26-2013, 02:41 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,561 posts, read 40,114,343 times
Reputation: 28547
Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
I can only take from you what you choose to show here. If you choose to be hostile, which you appear to be most of the time, don't get upset when people say you could use an attitude adjustment.

I'm sure you're just frustrated. It happens. I hope you are not this angry in real life as it is detrimental to your health.
I'm venting my spleen here. I'm not an angry or bitter person in real life or if I am feeling that way, I keep it to myself. Nobody wants to be around a seething, ranging *****...myself included.

My blood pressure is completely normal. I vent here BECAUSE it's not real life.
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Old 08-26-2013, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,771,382 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
I'm venting my spleen here. I'm not an angry or bitter person in real life or if I am feeling that way, I keep it to myself. Nobody wants to be around a seething, ranging *****...myself included.

My blood pressure is completely normal. I vent here BECAUSE it's not real life.
I get that too, and I get harassed and abused regularly for doing the same (venting). Just be careful what you say here.
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Old 08-26-2013, 03:27 PM
 
Location: North Texas
24,561 posts, read 40,114,343 times
Reputation: 28547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I get that too, and I get harassed and abused regularly for doing the same (venting). Just be careful what you say here.
People here have already piled on and blamed me for everything, which is par for the course. I can get up and walk away from the computer anytime.
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Old 08-26-2013, 03:54 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,308,517 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDGeek View Post
People here have already piled on and blamed me for everything, which is par for the course. I can get up and walk away from the computer anytime.
That's CD for ya.

Don't get discouraged. Anything that is worth it is worth it.
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