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As the question says, when you go on a blind date, or say with someone you meet online you don't know very well, and you meet the guy...do you find you usually find yourself attracted to him straight away (or not), or does it normally take time for you to warm to him? Have there been any dates where you started out sort of lukewarm and were smitten by the end of the date? Where maybe he was really charming/nice/seductive whatever.
Of course I'm sure looks would play a big role...since there's the initial physical attraction, and then getting to know the person inside. I guess some might disappoint and some might prove more attractive the more you know them.
There's always some initial reaction, but over the course of the date it can always change. If at first glance the guy isn't as cute as I hoped, but then they make me laugh or are very interesting, etc, I can get more attracted. And vice versa, if the guy is cute but turns out to be really passive or timid, I won't be as attracted as I was initially.
well looks catch my eye first thing but just like anyone else either i like the personality or i don't. i have been turned off by alot of attractive looking men just because their personalities were attrocious and i have hit it off with not so attractive looking guys alot more.
Looks don't really matter in attracting women, at least in my own personal exp.; YMMV of course. I had and still have reasonably sufficient good looks, but it didn't matter in the end, b/c zero women at all were ever interested in me romantically, until I was already over 31 years old. To this day, only 2-3 women even liked me romantically enough to want a relationship at all to begin with. Looks can get you one or two dates perhaps, but they can't get you all the way to a relationship, alone and by themselves...
There's always some initial reaction, but over the course of the date it can always change. If at first glance the guy isn't as cute as I hoped, but then they make me laugh or are very interesting, etc, I can get more attracted. And vice versa, if the guy is cute but turns out to be really passive or timid, I won't be as attracted as I was initially.
(Referring to bolded portions above.) But do you truly understand *why* it is, exactly, that is making an otherwise cute guy timid or passive? It's not b/c he's not interested romantically, in you -- it's specifically because he is afraid of being rejected, by you; hence he plays his hand in a more risk-averse way. IME, excessive timidity or passivity in a guy is a symptom of repeated rejection...after enough rejections, he is automatically conditioned to think that rejection is inevitable, and he withdraws, into himself -- and thus, enters a more timid and passive nature.
It is a vicious cycle, that additional rejection only reinforces. In MHO, if a woman really and truly wants to help ease the symptoms of timidity in a guy, she should ideally give him a real chance romantically, with her, and just be genuinely nice to him...being caring, gentle, and compassionate to a guy, is the best single way to ease his feelings of timidity and anxiety...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 08-23-2013 at 02:04 PM..
Reason: Correction
(Referring to bolded portions above.) But do you truly understand *why* it is, exactly, that is making an otherwise cute guy timid or passive? It's not b/c he's not interested romantically, in you -- it's specifically because he is afraid of being rejected, by you; hence he plays his hand in a more risk-averse way. IME, excessive timidity or passivity in a guy is a symptom of repeated rejection...after enough rejections, he is automatically conditioned to think that rejection is inevitable, and he withdraws, into himself -- and thus, enters a more timid and passive nature.
It is a vicious cycle, that additional rejection only reinforces. In MHO, if a woman really and truly wants to help ease the symptoms timidity in a guy, she should ideally give him a real chance romantically, with her, and just be genuinely nice to him...being caring, gentle, and compassionate to a guy, is the best single way to ease his feelings of timidity and anxiety...
It's not up to a woman to give some guy she hardly knows more of a chance than a first date. Being a little nervous is one thing, but if he's such a delicate petal that he can't function socially like a normal person that's his cross to bear, not hers.
I pretty much know right away whether I'm attracted and it doesn't change as time goes on.
You sound like me, if there is no attraction, I am mentally checked out of the date
I remember I was trying to give this one womanI met on a blind date a hint by not eating my dinner and saving it for when I arrived home. She was like.........."why are you not eating? and I was like........"not hungry"
I have met beautiful women who have evil personalities. Then I've met so-so women who have really cool personalities.
Sad part is some you love to have a fun night out with would not make very good marriage mates.
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