How should I go about handling this situation with an ex-girlfriend. (boyfriend, woman)
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We broke up almost 2 years ago after being together on and off for about 4 years. to sum it up, she left me for someone else without even having the courtesy of breaking up face to face, or even by phone, by nothing actually. It was really cold and inconsiderate. Yea I was really heartbroken but life goes on and got over most of it eventually. To be honest I'm still a little heart broken and angry.
Anyway, I had recently moved to a new state and job about a year ago. The past year though she has been texting and calling me every now and then telling me she still misses me and still has feeling for me and she doesn't know why. Turns out things have not been the best between her and this guy for the past year. I'm ignoring most of her calls and texts but I admit I give in once in a while and answer back. I'm keeping a cool head though, telling her how messed up it was what she had done and that I'm still a little angry, but I don't hate her and wish her the best. We both know we were such a huge part of each other's lives and she still thinks about us time to time. But I keep telling her even though I do miss what we had, it would never work out and that I wouldn't be able to ever trust her again and I wouldn't want to end up together with her if the chance came up down the road. But she still calls and tries to contact me! She even wants to fly out to where I am and see me.
I meant everything I told her, but I still get jealous when I think of her with someone else. Yea I do miss her but like I said, things ended up in a ugly way and I do not want to get back together with her, then why do I still get angry and sad thinking about her? Why does a part of me secretly hope it's her calling or texting me every time I hear my phone ring? It's stupid I feel like this and I don't know why. Just reaching out for some advice. thanks.
Sounds like you miss the idea of her more than anything else. I mean, she has shown you what she really is. And look, now here she is confiding in you about her boyfriend. It's safe to assume he doesn't know she's contacting you, and it's safe to assume she did the same thing to you behind your back. She's an emotional cheater. Don't let the fact that she's giving you attention confuse that fact.
Best way to deal with it is to break all contact with her. You can tell her what is done is done and you think it best that you go your separate ways.
We broke up almost 2 years ago after being together on and off for about 4 years. to sum it up, she left me for someone else without even having the courtesy of breaking up face to face, or even by phone, by nothing actually. It was really cold and inconsiderate. Yea I was really heartbroken but life goes on and got over most of it eventually. To be honest I'm still a little heart broken and angry.
Anyway, I had recently moved to a new state and job about a year ago. The past year though she has been texting and calling me every now and then telling me she still misses me and still has feeling for me and she doesn't know why. Turns out things have not been the best between her and this guy for the past year. I'm ignoring most of her calls and texts but I admit I give in once in a while and answer back. I'm keeping a cool head though, telling her how messed up it was what she had done and that I'm still a little angry, but I don't hate her and wish her the best. We both know we were such a huge part of each other's lives and she still thinks about us time to time. But I keep telling her even though I do miss what we had, it would never work out and that I wouldn't be able to ever trust her again and I wouldn't want to end up together with her if the chance came up down the road. But she still calls and tries to contact me! She even wants to fly out to where I am and see me.
I meant everything I told her, but I still get jealous when I think of her with someone else. Yea I do miss her but like I said, things ended up in a ugly way and I do not want to get back together with her, then why do I still get angry and sad thinking about her? Why does a part of me secretly hope it's her calling or texting me every time I hear my phone ring? It's stupid I feel like this and I don't know why. Just reaching out for some advice. thanks.
People who pull disappearing acts deserve no seconds changes. They are craven cowards, and should be held accountable. Tell her to leave you alone and never have contact with her again. Don't be weak and needy. She's trash.
Consider going no contact with her, (block her from phone, text & email) all you are doing by staying in contact is upsetting yourself, what's the point?
I think you should give her the courtesy of letting her know you'll no longer be communicating with her. At least you'll know you're the better person.
First, you're right to continue to reject this woman. If you got back together, she'd dump you for some other guy again. Second. She dumped you. You have no obligation to be nice to her at all. Quit being nice. Tell her to get lost and have a nice life.
I meant everything I told her, but I still get jealous when I think of her with someone else. Yea I do miss her but like I said, things ended up in a ugly way and I do not want to get back together with her, then why do I still get angry and sad thinking about her? Why does a part of me secretly hope it's her calling or texting me every time I hear my phone ring? It's stupid I feel like this and I don't know why. Just reaching out for some advice. thanks.
It's never easy to be the one who gets left and dumped
It makes you feel so powerless and small.
You continue to get sad and angry when thinking about her because you relive those initial helpless feelings whenever you remember her.
You get excited anticipating her calls because deep down you want her to want you again as a way of feeling like you've been vindicated.
The healthiest, smartest thing for you to do is draw some firm boundaries with her.
You do not have to be mean or ugly, you just have to tell her firmly that what she did was cowardly and hurt you very much and because of that you just don't trust her.
If you trusting her is actually important to her, then she needs to work hard to earn it. Until then, do not let her schedule any visits to your location.
Nothing worse than someone who abandoned a relationship, well, a cheater, and I'm 99% sure she did before she left you.
I agree, stop all contact; dont accept anymore calls, dont reply to any more messages.
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