Ladies - Your Lists, Then & Now! (dating, Christian, boyfriend)

[orangeapple]

Get out your proverbial lists of "would likes" and "rather nots" for a partner, and note how any of these have changed since your younger days (however recent or long ago that was).

I know most women don't literally have lists we compose & check off, but since people think we do anyway, what are your IDEALS?

Supposedly our requirement "lists" get shorter with age.... can't say mine has. Rather, I have a more detailed concept of what suits me.

[zentropa]

I don't recall ever having a "list." Except maybe that that whoever I ended up with needed to have a college education or at least be intelligent enough to succeed. I met my ex husband when we were both 19. He left school at 16 (as was the norm in the UK) but he was very smart. With my encouragement he went on to university as a mature student and got a BA in fine arts and is now a successful magazine photographer.

I just couldn't fit well with someone who had no personal ambition or natural intelligence. That has not changed 30 years later.

[Idon'tdateyou]

Mine has changed from being looks orientated to morals.

My list in my 20's or so:

Must be handsome.
In excellent shape and works out all the time.
Great "cool" job. No blue collar men.
Not a slob.
Didn't care if he had been married or had kids.
Liberal in all respects. Moderate Republican? too conservative. Moderate Democrat? same thing.
Agnostic.
Loves alternative.
Loves animals.
Drives a sports car.
Prefer he lives in downtown in a condo.
Full head of hair.
Prefer Hispanic or Latin.
Dark haired preferred.

Probably had more but can't remember.

My list now:

No kids.
Strongly prefer never married.
Christian and prefer Catholic.
Loves animals.
Not obese but doesn't have to work out all the time.
Employed but I don't care what job.

My boyfriend fits all of these (plus he's Hispanic). However he wouldn't fit many on my previous list since he doesn't drive a sports car, he doesn't have a cool job according to what I considered cool. He's a bit chubby (though not obese). he has balding hair and greying. He's conservative and religious.

[rajroy009]

I read your story.

[funymann]

Originally Posted by rajroy009

I read your story.

Hahaha!!! That's funny!

[Thursday007]

Yet another thread in trying to put things into a manual.

Let me inform you, no one is exactly the same and there are no missing pages from the 'dating manual' you have.

[MJ7]

Originally Posted by Thursday007

Yet another thread in trying to put things into a manual.

Let me inform you, no one is exactly the same and there are no missing pages from the 'dating manual' you have.

I believe that is why she posed the question. Not everyone is going to have the same answer.

[Thursday007]

Originally Posted by MJ7

I believe that is why she posed the question. Not everyone is going to have the same answer.

Don't you have your own thread on a similar subject...

https://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...kely-date.html

Time and time again, in here, you will find these topics are just someone trying to 'box in' a group of men or a group of women. Stick around a while and you will see it too. I'll check back later to see.

[Melissa78703]

Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou

Mine has changed from being looks orientated to morals.

Mine too. Which means that in a way, I've become even more "picky", because there aren't too many good men out there.

LIST IN MY 20s:

Had to like the same music I do
Had to have "artsy" pursuits (novelist, artist, director, etc.) -- seriously, this was a big "must have"
Picture-perfect handsome and good body
Dresses in the latest fashions
Hits all of the cool places in town
Travels the world, going to exotic locations
Super-liberal on all issues
No kids

LIST NOW:

Is kind to his parents, animals and me
Trustworthy/dependable
Keeps relatively fit, but it's okay if he's not in perfect condition
Gainfully employed in a job (any) that permits him to self-sustain
Political leanings don't matter, as long as he's not extremely conservative
Still prefer someone with no kids, but would see a single dad under the right circumstances

[srjth]

I don't have a list and never have but I was thinking last night about how I want someone who is genuinely nice.