Trouble connecting with men (married, women, love, kids)
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Any other female experience this? I don't know what I'm doing wrong...I can't see myself! My friends say that I sometimes come off cold. I'm naturally aloof but I find that when I try to connect, it doesn't seem to work, just does the opposite, really. No, this has not been the case with every guy but as of late it just seems like I can't get out of this space.
The ones that seem promising, it's almost like they start off liking me and then a bit later, it's like they can't stand me. Men, when you can't stand a woman, what is it usually about her that makes you feel this way?
My friend once told me - "you put the fire out". Aye! I have an idea of what that means but as I said, I don't really have much self-awareness but if I had to make an honest assessment of my personality when it comes to men, I would say that I am:
Aloof, sometimes critical, shy, guarded, emotionless, not flirtatious, never a damsel in distress (damn, guess I just answered my own question, eh?) but I really am loveable/have loveable qualities and I find that it's so easy for guys to pick on me/be mean to me and then the ***** comes out and they are soooo surprised. Gah, I've rambled enough!
not flitatious? shy, guarded, critical, - these are all brick walls, for guys to approach you
what makes a guy run away from a woman?? tough to say,
men take a lot of crap, for being a "nice guy" and sometimes women take crap for being emotionless, guarded, critical
like the old adage- if you want to have friends, be friendly,
if you want to be loved, be lovable
Any other female experience this? I don't know what I'm doing wrong...I can't see myself! My friends say that I sometimes come off cold. I'm naturally aloof but I find that when I try to connect, it doesn't seem to work, just does the opposite, really. No, this has not been the case with every guy but as of late it just seems like I can't get out of this space.
The ones that seem promising, it's almost like they start off liking me and then a bit later, it's like they can't stand me. Men, when you can't stand a woman, what is it usually about her that makes you feel this way?
My friend once told me - "you put the fire out". Aye! I have an idea of what that means but as I said, I don't really have much self-awareness but if I had to make an honest assessment of my personality when it comes to men, I would say that I am:
Aloof, sometimes critical, shy, guarded, emotionless, not flirtatious, never a damsel in distress (damn, guess I just answered my own question, eh?) but I really am loveable/have loveable qualities and I find that it's so easy for guys to pick on me/be mean to me and then the ***** comes out and they are soooo surprised. Gah, I've rambled enough!
Help!
Answer these questions:
How often to you exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes a day?
Do you have a credit card balance?
Student loans?
Car loans?
Smoke?
Illegal drugs?
How much and how often do you drink alcohol?
What's your education level?
Married before? Kids?
Job? Doing what?
Tattoos?
Do you get along with your parents?
Are your parents still married?
Job? Doing what?
Any other female experience this? I don't know what I'm doing wrong...I can't see myself! My friends say that I sometimes come off cold. I'm naturally aloof but I find that when I try to connect, it doesn't seem to work, just does the opposite, really. No, this has not been the case with every guy but as of late it just seems like I can't get out of this space.
The ones that seem promising, it's almost like they start off liking me and then a bit later, it's like they can't stand me. Men, when you can't stand a woman, what is it usually about her that makes you feel this way?
My friend once told me - "you put the fire out". Aye! I have an idea of what that means but as I said, I don't really have much self-awareness but if I had to make an honest assessment of my personality when it comes to men, I would say that I am:
Aloof, sometimes critical, shy, guarded, emotionless, not flirtatious, never a damsel in distress (damn, guess I just answered my own question, eh?) but I really am loveable/have loveable qualities and I find that it's so easy for guys to pick on me/be mean to me and then the ***** comes out and they are soooo surprised. Gah, I've rambled enough!
Help!
Maybe you ramble too much?
Haha! Relax.
Maybe you are trying too hard. Let them do the talking till you are comfortable.
Don't put down other people's ideas. Like.. "It would be cool to skydive!!" You, "yeah, if you're crazy or wanna die!!"
See that wont work.
Try to let people express themselves without being judged by you.
Shy and aloof is ok. Same with "not a damsel in distress".
But..."Sometimes critical, emotionless, not flirtatious"...That makes me think you'd be unapproachable, and why bother taking the time if I have a bad first impression of you?
Ever tried to make small talk with a person giving off 'cold' vibes?
Just smile and make brief eye contact a couple of times..That's a gift to us when we are working up the courage to approach.
Shy and aloof is ok. Same with "not a damsel in distress".
But..."Sometimes critical, emotionless, not flirtatious"...That makes me think you'd be unapproachable, and why bother taking the time if I have a bad first impression of you?
Ever tried to make small talk with a person giving off 'cold' vibes?
Just smile and make brief eye contact a couple of times..That's a gift to us when we are working up the courage to approach.
Shy and aloof aren't the same. Aloof is often taken for mysterious. Works more for men than women. Shy is often taken for stuck up. Shyness is a road block for both men and women. This society favors extroverts. Introvert doesn't necessarily equal shy, but most people don't want to waste their time bringing the shy person out of their shell.
Shy and aloof aren't the same. Aloof is often taken for mysterious. Works more for men than women. Shy is often taken for stuck up. Shyness is a road block for both men and women. This society favors extroverts. Introvert doesn't necessarily equal shy, but most people don't want to waste their time bringing the shy person out of their shell.
Save the speech. I was giving my opinion. I know the meanings of the words shy and aloof. And in my opinion they aren't deal breakers when meeting someone.
Emotionless, cold etc. are deal breakers.
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