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I feel a little silly asking about this. I mean for crying out loud im 29 years old. I should know stuff like this by now shouldn't I? So here is the situation, I met someone off a dating website. Things went good, we even hung out the next night, did some hugging, kissing, cuddling, all that good innocent stuff. But then after that night, 2 weeks ago..hardley no contact at all. I guess it wouldn't be such a big deal to me if I didn't actually like this guy and see some potential in him. But I do. *sigh* This guy did tell me up front that he is not that big on the phone or talking on the computer, and he did like a lot of time to himself. So I dont bother him. I have let him initiate any contact since our meeting. Well needless to say that has been very sparse. He has sent me a few messages online, a few last week stating he was sick, but he missed me and hoped to hang out sometime. Well he ended up staying sick all last weekend so I wasn't able to see him then. I guess Im just wondering if I should take all of this as a sign that he is not interested. I tend to be a trusting person, so a part of me wants to believe that he values his time to himself and doesn't want to be bothered or whatever bytalking on the phone or computer. But another part of me is thinking if he liked me like he told me he did, and wanted to get to know me more, like he also told me he did, why wouldn't he try doing that? Regardless of the type of relationship you want with someone, whether it be a friendship or a relationship, you have to put some time and effort into it you know? Granted it has only been 2 weeks since we met. I guess Im scared he is not interested anymore, or that I may be being played for a fool. I guess Im also scared of losing this new potential that I found, that I haven't found in awhile now. Any insight for me? Should I just hang in there and wait for him to contact me? Or throw in the towel and say screw it? Im just kinda making myself miserable over here wondering what is going on.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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and you are sure he is not married? Seems strange that you meet online yet he says he doesn't communicate via computer or phone for that matter....it's that what dating is all about?
I'd like to believe that when people are not interested in someone, they say so...but dragging you along; but says he would like to "hang out" another time, makes me think he's go more on his plate than you are aware of.
and you are sure he is not married? Seems strange that you meet online yet he says he doesn't communicate via computer or phone for that matter....it's that what dating is all about?
I'd like to believe that when people are not interested in someone, they say so...but dragging you along; but says he would like to "hang out" another time, makes me think he's go more on his plate than you are aware of.
That seems to be a lot of the response I get when I tell my friends about this situation. He told me he is not married. He actually just broke out of an engagement in July or August. So maybe that is a reason he might be taking things slow? *shrug* I just want to trust everything he has told me, although its hard since I barely know him. Yet, he hasnt given me a reason yet not to trust him. Its just so confusing! lol
I would suggest you keep looking-one of the books that really helps explain this is "He is just not into you". People who want to be together make the time to do so. There is a lot of fish in the sea and why waste time on one that is not too interested in your bait? This was a hard lesson for me coming out of long marriage [30+ years] and still trying to think the best of people. Value yourself enough to spend your time wisely. Good luck to you...
First of all, when it comes to men, you must remember: Ignore everything he says and only pay attention to his actions.
When a man falls in love with a woman, he will climb the highest mountain to be with her. In other words, he finds the time to call.
Just because a man kisses and cuddles and tries to go to bed with you, does not mean that he likes you. This is why it is better to hold off on the hugging and kissing part to find out his real intentions. If he is interesting, he keeps coming back and then you know.
You've only known this man for two dates. You met him on the internet. You really don't know anything about him. He could have a girlfriend or he could be out with another woman that he met on the internet tonight. You don't know.
I would let this one go and keep dating. Just be glad you only kissed and cuddled and that you did not go to bed with him. (How lousy would that feel?) And when you meet another guy you like, give him a hug and say good night at the end of the date...and then see if he calls.
Hey, what happened? As soon as I posted my response, there were like five of you already ahead of me. Mainstreet, Mui, all of you, I think it's time for bed.
Maybe he's not interested but maybe he is really sick, but what it might be is that you are moving to fast for him and he is backing you off, take it easy and see what happens.
Of course I can only go by your perceptions. But I would agree with the others = if someone wants to be with you and see you, they will be with you.
Also, did he say not to call him? If yes, than the whole thing about not talking on the phone computer could just be the way he is. I am that way - I prefer to talk in person and not over email or phone.
If you are not calling/emailing/chatting with this guy and you really like doing those things when you are dating than I would forget about this good. The best relationships are when you can feel comfortable communicating when you want too, not on the other persons terms.
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