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I was asking a woman friend of mine why some women describe themselves as looking younger than their age. She basically confirmed what I suspected, which is that they worry men will exclude them based on their age. She then asked me why so many men prefer younger women, even when the men don't want kids. So it lead to an "interesting" conversation about what women infer about men based on the age range they set. I threw out some hypotheticals and she offered her opinion.
40 year old man, doesn't want kids, looking for women 25-35. Her conclusion: Man doesn't want to accept that he's 40 and thinks being with a younger woman will make him look/feel young.
35 year old man, doesn't want kids, looking for women 25-38. Her conclusion: Man isn't serious about dating anyone over 35, but doesn't want to make it obvious. He'll hold a 38 year old woman to a much higher standard than a 25 year old.
30 year old man, doesn't want kids, looking for woman 30-50. Her conclusion: Man isn't serious about dating women over 40 and just wants to have sex with them.
I told her I thought she was inferring too much and shouldn't be so quick to form a conclusion about someone based on their preferences. But it made me realize that a lot of women might react the same way as her.
So what do you think? What (if anything) can you infer about someone based on their preferred age range, especially as it relates to their own age? So if someone excludes people their own age, what does that tell you about them? Or if someone has a really wide range, do you take that seriously? And do you think some people try to appear more open-minded than they really are?
The moral of the story is: bag online dating, and look for a potential partner in real life. Then you don't have to deal with those age preferences. Things are much more straightforward.
The moral of the story is: bag online dating, and look for a potential partner in real life. Then you don't have to deal with those age preferences. Things are much more straightforward.
Yes, because people don't have age requirements in the real world.
The only difference is that in the offline world, they don't broadcast it for everyone to see. Although if asked, they might readily admit that they don't want someone their age.
Yes, because people don't have age requirements in the real world.
The only difference is that in the offline world, they don't broadcast it for everyone to see. Although if asked, they might readily admit that they don't want someone their age.
IRL, most men prefer women in their own age range, that's the difference. The nature of internet dating sites tends to attract men who get excited about the prospect of shopping for someone much younger. You don't run into those much at all IRL.
Yes, because people don't have age requirements in the real world.
The only difference is that in the offline world, they don't broadcast it for everyone to see. Although if asked, they might readily admit that they don't want someone their age.
I think that online dating seems to have made people's personal preferences into requirements. I never did online dating. I never really gave thought to my preferences - I just met people and decided if I was interested or not. When you have to check off little boxes - I think it sometimes gives you preferences that you weren't even aware that you had.
IRL, most men prefer women in their own age range, that's the difference. The nature of internet dating sites tends to attract men who get excited about the prospect of shopping for someone much younger. You don't run into those much at all IRL.
Really? What world do you live in? Older men have been chasing after younger women and excluding women their own age LONG before the Internet came along. I love how people are quick to blame online dating for trends that have been around forever. The only thing the Internet has done has made it harder for people to conceal their age restrictions. In the old days, you could have no interest in women your own age, but you could keep it to yourself and people could just infer by whom you chose to date. But when you go online, you're forced to answer.
I don't think about unless there's a large disparity between his age and the age of the woman he wants - him: 45, her: 20. In that case I just think its gross. Otherwise, I don't have time to think about it.
Really? What world do you live in? Older men have been chasing after younger women and excluding women their own age LONG before the Internet came along. I love how people are quick to blame online dating for trends that have been around forever. The only thing the Internet has done has made it harder for people to conceal their age restrictions. In the old days, you could have no interest in women your own age, but you could keep it to yourself and people could just infer by whom you chose to date. But when you go online, you're forced to answer.
The point is, those guys are in the minority. IRL, this is evident. Focussing on internet sites creates the illusion that they're in the majority.
I was asking a woman friend of mine why some women describe themselves as looking younger than their age. She basically confirmed what I suspected, which is that they worry men will exclude them based on their age. She then asked me why so many men prefer younger women, even when the men don't want kids. So it lead to an "interesting" conversation about what women infer about men based on the age range they set. I threw out some hypotheticals and she offered her opinion.
40 year old man, doesn't want kids, looking for women 25-35. Her conclusion: Man doesn't want to accept that he's 40 and thinks being with a younger woman will make him look/feel young.
35 year old man, doesn't want kids, looking for women 25-38. Her conclusion: Man isn't serious about dating anyone over 35, but doesn't want to make it obvious. He'll hold a 38 year old woman to a much higher standard than a 25 year old.
30 year old man, doesn't want kids, looking for woman 30-50. Her conclusion: Man isn't serious about dating women over 40 and just wants to have sex with them.
I told her I thought she was inferring too much and shouldn't be so quick to form a conclusion about someone based on their preferences. But it made me realize that a lot of women might react the same way as her.
So what do you think? What (if anything) can you infer about someone based on their preferred age range, especially as it relates to their own age? So if someone excludes people their own age, what does that tell you about them? Or if someone has a really wide range, do you take that seriously? And do you think some people try to appear more open-minded than they really are?
Her assumptions seems pretty reasonable to me. I've never dated online, but her theory makes sense to me.
I think that excluding people based on age, works just as well as excluding them on another feature they have no control over.
Unless he's 50 something and looking for a 20 something, or he's 20 something looking for 40+ something, I really wouldn't think much about his age preference.
The moral of the story is: bag online dating, and look for a potential partner in real life. Then you don't have to deal with those age preferences. Things are much more straightforward.
yep.
don't get caught up in this logically "what is your preferred age range" discussion because what counts is how you connect, whether there is any benefit to getting to know each other more, having good times and hanging out ---all emotional aspects of chemistry and compatibility.
everyone has their ideal mate and opinion/stereotypes of others. but relationships are an emotional bond, not logical.
P.S.: This age preference/difference topic has been commented on many many CDR threads. Almost seems as if once one thread drops from your screen listing someone thinks no one is discussing the topic. the answers wont change, nor will ppl's opinion.
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