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Old 09-18-2013, 01:26 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,243,286 times
Reputation: 2047

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I would say I was unattractive. Not in the way I looked, but in the way I came across. I don't think it matters how good you look, but if your face says, "I am a cold "witch", don't approach me" or you "look like a snob" men won't approach because they just assume you are going to reject them (and in a cold, cruel way to boot). I was never like this and I never would be like that, but the combination of my quietness, shyness, and poker face that did that to me.

At least, that's what I was told time and time again by people who got to know me. They told me their first impression of me was that I was stuck up, a snob, and full of myself--but when they got to know me, they realized I wasn't and that the difference of what I projected and what I was really like was much in contrast that it was worth noting.

EDIT: One thing this has all taught me, by the way. Despite so many people thinking men are only about looks (including some men). It's just not true. Like I said, my looks are the same except I've aged in time. But more men seem interested in me now than ever before in my life. Attitude and personality are just as important to men--maybe more so.
Looks are really really important but when a woman knows she is hot then she becomes like a museum piece, really nice to look at in passing but you cant take the plastic off and play with it without being wrestled to the floor by security. So even if you are now kind and pleasent if a guy has had rejection after rejection of women who look like you they will grow tired of it, it does not matter how nice or polite your security is a guy eventually wants something he can take the plastic off of and play with even if its not as nice looking as the museum pieces. The attention you are getting is likely from guys that have not had to deal with a ton of rejection yet because after a while it does get old.
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Old 09-18-2013, 01:47 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,819,901 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
Looks are really really important but when a woman knows she is hot then she becomes like a museum piece, really nice to look at in passing but you cant take the plastic off and play with it without being wrestled to the floor by security. So even if you are now kind and pleasent if a guy has had rejection after rejection of women who look like you they will grow tired of it, it does not matter how nice or polite your security is a guy eventually wants something he can take the plastic off of and play with even if its not as nice looking as the museum pieces. The attention you are getting is likely from guys that have not had to deal with a ton of rejection yet because after a while it does get old.
I think you are on to something really. For some reason I was assumed to be a cheerleader or ex cheerleader a lot. Even today it's common for people who meet me in person (after knowing me though the phone--mainly people I work with) to say I don't look like what they thought I would look like. Usually they tell me they are surprised that I am a blonde (like that shapes my personality somehow).

Anyway, now I make it easier for men. I will smile warmly, approach, talk, etc. I kind of have a quirk where I won't actually ask a man out because I figure I've pretty much done half of the work for him, if he's really interested he will take at least one chance and ask me out or at least for my number. But basically, to use your analogy, I walk out of the plastic and say, hello. But honestly, I am not "hot." I've been called pretty, but not hot; and I think that mainly has to do with the way I treat people more so than how I look.
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Old 09-18-2013, 02:00 PM
 
5,347 posts, read 7,217,011 times
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Idk why people act like think this impossible and could never happen. While its true that There's tons of men and women who are shy and socially awkward during that time the difference between the 2 is the shy women get asked out and the shy guys don't. Unless a guy is really attractive or has some high social status no girl is going to really approach him so it is easy to envision a scneraio where a guy goes that time not dating.

Also in general, you rarely if ever see a group of male friends under 30 years old who are all "winning" when it comes to females. Usually in a group you have one or 2 guys who do extremely well, 2 or 3 who do "ok"(a one night stand here or there, maybe had one girlfriend) and the rest who get next to nothing. One of my best friends is just like this, He's had one GF for 3 and a half years and got lucky with 2 ONS's since and that's about it. Great guy, just no real success
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Old 09-18-2013, 02:14 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,243,286 times
Reputation: 2047
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I think you are on to something really. For some reason I was assumed to be a cheerleader or ex cheerleader a lot. Even today it's common for people who meet me in person (after knowing me though the phone--mainly people I work with) to say I don't look like what they thought I would look like. Usually they tell me they are surprised that I am a blonde (like that shapes my personality somehow).

Anyway, now I make it easier for men. I will smile warmly, approach, talk, etc. I kind of have a quirk where I won't actually ask a man out because I figure I've pretty much done half of the work for him, if he's really interested he will take at least one chance and ask me out or at least for my number. But basically, to use your analogy, I walk out of the plastic and say, hello. But honestly, I am not "hot." I've been called pretty, but not hot; and I think that mainly has to do with the way I treat people more so than how I look.
When I refer to the "plastic" I am refering to sex. If a guy can never even get to second base or even get a date with a woman who looks like you then they will stop asking women who look like you and go after women who they know they have a better chance of being able to take home and take the plastic off and play with. Being warmly rejected is better than a cold rejection but its rejection all the same.

when you let down your poker face you are able to get guys to hit on you who have not dealt with a ton of rejection yet and still feel like they have a lagtimate chance to unwrap the plastic and play with you and not just get their hand slapped when the rubber meets the road. If you are really into a guy doing half the work may not be enough, if he has a history of constant rejection you may need to do all the work, of course if he has been rejected that much he is likely no mr.gq so it would probably not be worth putting yourself out there to do all the work on the front end, unless you see something in him that none of the other bleach blond hotties didnt see.
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Old 09-18-2013, 02:20 PM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,241 posts, read 7,196,180 times
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I didnt do any dating. I think I can count the dates on one hand, and at least two of those were me being fixed-up by my cousin.

I ended up being gay (wasn't out in HS...and it took until later in college before I was honest to myself about it, then a few years till I actually came out as in cruising bars looking to trick)

Im wondering if I was more aggressive w. dating in HS/college that I would have ended up more bisexual, say even getting married or going steady, & cheating on my wife and/or GF
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Old 09-18-2013, 06:21 PM
 
119 posts, read 103,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
I didnt do any dating. I think I can count the dates on one hand, and at least two of those were me being fixed-up by my cousin.

I ended up being gay (wasn't out in HS...and it took until later in college before I was honest to myself about it, then a few years till I actually came out as in cruising bars looking to trick)

Im wondering if I was more aggressive w. dating in HS/college that I would have ended up more bisexual, say even getting married or going steady, & cheating on my wife and/or GF

You're a gay dude so you can explain this to me


Why do your kind always go crazy for me when I get zero attention from women?


I am not even the slightest bit feminine in appearance or personality...very stocky without being fat. Don't you and straight women like the same things?
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Old 09-18-2013, 08:11 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,819,901 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
When I refer to the "plastic" I am refering to sex. If a guy can never even get to second base or even get a date with a woman who looks like you then they will stop asking women who look like you and go after women who they know they have a better chance of being able to take home and take the plastic off and play with. Being warmly rejected is better than a cold rejection but its rejection all the same.

when you let down your poker face you are able to get guys to hit on you who have not dealt with a ton of rejection yet and still feel like they have a lagtimate chance to unwrap the plastic and play with you and not just get their hand slapped when the rubber meets the road. If you are really into a guy doing half the work may not be enough, if he has a history of constant rejection you may need to do all the work, of course if he has been rejected that much he is likely no mr.gq so it would probably not be worth putting yourself out there to do all the work on the front end, unless you see something in him that none of the other bleach blond hotties didnt see.
My misunderstanding... I was thinking of the plastic as a defensive shield of disinterest or something. I am not the type to solicit sex or be overly sexual when meeting. I figure get to know a man and a kind of friends first attitude. Then again, most places I meet men really don't lend themselves to being overly sexual--it's ludicrous. For example, a dive boat... I might smile, talk, flirt a little--but it's entirely unsexy coming out of the water with knotted up hair and with snot coming out of your nose into your mask, lol (and yes, that happens a lot to a lot of people due to the change in pressure). No one is seducing anyone or expecting sex on a dive boat, lol. People are chatting, looking at the fish they speared, getting to know each other, sleeping, throwing up, or gearing up most of the time.

If I am lucky, I get to know another diver... a single man and maybe we talk about meeting up again later, etc.

But I am not a bleached blonde for sure. Maybe that's the assumption that I bleach and am therefore vain or something. In all fairness though, I do color my hair with lowlights (basically I darken it) because I spend a lot of time outside and the sun fades it out a lot. So I am a little vain
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Old 09-19-2013, 12:44 AM
 
8 posts, read 9,812 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Plenty of attractive women don't get swarmed with male attention, and getting swarmed with male attention isn't exactly the benefit that you think it is.

Cartoon: Street Harassment | Alas, a Blog

Or they got swarmed with the wrong kind of attention.
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Old 09-19-2013, 01:02 AM
 
9,659 posts, read 10,248,780 times
Reputation: 3225
Quote:
Originally Posted by AceDaBrain View Post
You had several relationships in your 20s and got married at 25


You have absolutely no business posting in this thread. I would kill for one relationship
You have no business taking someone's life to get your emotional and physical needs taken care of.
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Old 09-19-2013, 01:07 AM
 
119 posts, read 103,898 times
Reputation: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
You have no business taking someone's life to get your emotional and physical needs taken care of.
say what?
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