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Old 09-17-2013, 09:11 PM
 
119 posts, read 103,651 times
Reputation: 57

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How did it end up for you guys?


Did you finally run into a good opportunity at one point? What age? What changed in your life?


Curious to hear some stories of how others in my situation ended up
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Old 09-17-2013, 11:12 PM
 
4,463 posts, read 6,227,120 times
Reputation: 2047
I had no dates/sex in high school and only a few ons and one very short term fwb towards the end of college. I had to lower my standards by quite a bit to start getting real relationships. Once I started getting a little attention I jumped in head first into 2 marriages that each lasted about 4 to 4.5 years. I was willing to tolerate a lot because I had such a low self esteem (and still do), I am with someone new now but she is not nearly as attractive as I would like but I tried dating women that were physically what I wanted and kept getting rejected so I had to lower again. As long as she treats me well I will stay but not sure if I will get married again.

If you are still young and make good money, its probably not a bad idea to at least consider dramatic plastic surgery. Post an online profile with fake pics, make various profiles with various fake pics and see which ones get tons of replys from women who are VERY interested then see which ones a surgeon can realistically pull off, that's how I would do it. The thought of the surgery scares me as I don't even like needles.
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Old 09-17-2013, 11:40 PM
 
119 posts, read 103,651 times
Reputation: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by highlife2 View Post
I had no dates/sex in high school and only a few ons and one very short term fwb towards the end of college. I had to lower my standards by quite a bit to start getting real relationships. Once I started getting a little attention I jumped in head first into 2 marriages that each lasted about 4 to 4.5 years. I was willing to tolerate a lot because I had such a low self esteem (and still do), I am with someone new now but she is not nearly as attractive as I would like but I tried dating women that were physically what I wanted and kept getting rejected so I had to lower again. As long as she treats me well I will stay but not sure if I will get married again.

If you are still young and make good money, its probably not a bad idea to at least consider dramatic plastic surgery. Post an online profile with fake pics, make various profiles with various fake pics and see which ones get tons of replys from women who are VERY interested then see which ones a surgeon can realistically pull off, that's how I would do it. The thought of the surgery scares me as I don't even like needles.

I'm actually quite happy with how I look

Facial surgery is an idiotic idea anyways. Never seen anybody who looked good after facial surgery
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Old 09-17-2013, 11:44 PM
 
206 posts, read 254,691 times
Reputation: 67
I was busy for 8 years.

Would I change it?

Hell no....

I was doing something more important....for even them.

No thank you required either.

You owe me nothing.
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Old 09-18-2013, 12:44 AM
 
Location: USA
6,230 posts, read 6,920,698 times
Reputation: 10784
Nearly 30 here, never dated/sex. I'm massively anti social and have been working the same low paying job since high school so I will be alone for life.
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Old 09-18-2013, 12:53 AM
 
206 posts, read 254,691 times
Reputation: 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by s1alker View Post
Nearly 30 here, never dated/sex. I'm massively anti social and have been working the same low paying job since high school so I will be alone for life.
Oh boy....nearly 30 and your life is over.

It gets BETTER>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


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Old 09-18-2013, 07:09 AM
 
3,636 posts, read 3,424,247 times
Reputation: 4324
Quote:
Originally Posted by AceDaBrain View Post
Did you finally run into a good opportunity at one point? What age? What changed in your life?
I had a non existent love life in my teens and barely existing for my early 20s and college years. It was not until I changed my out look on life and several aspects of how I was living it that things changed massively.
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Old 09-18-2013, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 13,996,892 times
Reputation: 14940
I only dated casually in my teens. I never had a girlfriend for very long. I made it all the way to 20 before losing my virginity. Then I became involved in a relationship that lasted for about 3 and a half years. We had a few hiatuses and I had a few ONSs during that time. When she and I split up I was 24 and in the ensuing year I went a little crazy. Thankfully I met my wife and put the breaks on all the other things I was doing. I was 25 when I got married.
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Old 09-18-2013, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Metro Detroit
1,102 posts, read 1,350,455 times
Reputation: 675
Quote:
Originally Posted by Longneck Bottle View Post
I was busy for 8 years.

Would I change it?

Hell no....

I was doing something more important....for even them.

No thank you required either.

You owe me nothing.
Were you fighting overseas or something? Even those guys find women. Busy sounds like an excuse
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Old 09-18-2013, 08:17 AM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,801,136 times
Reputation: 5833
I really don't know if I should chime in because I am not a guy... but then I feel like I should because I am not a guy.

I didn't have many boyfriends or interest (beyond superficial) in my teens and early 20s. I didn't even get asked out to the prom or a single dance (for the prom, I went with a guy friend that I asked). I had two boyfriend in college (one for two semesters until he transferred to another school... the other for one semester until he dropped out). And then nothing until I as 25--not a single date, look, anything.

Now, I am not ugly or anything (and I think I looked much better then--I am older now and I think it shows). I was average build, long blonde hair, beachy outdoorsy type, that perfect "hip to waist ratio" that anthropologist talk about, etc. I was often told by guys (who were friends) that my problem is I came across as cold. Nothing could be farther from the truth... I love people and am a very warm person. But I am introverted and a but shy and men who saw me assumed I was a "cold witch" so to speak.

It wasn't until I finally came out of my shell at 25 that things picked up for me. What helped was a job that I had where I *had* to talk to men a lot--mostly rough around the edges men too. Soon it became more comfortable for me to express myself, I was more relaxed, and people could see the warmness. Nothing else about me changed other than that; but a world opened up to me. Then it seemed like suddenly, out of the blue, men were interested in me. Even after I got married (and had a very visible ring) men hit on me.

Long story not so long, my Ex came out of the closet and we divorced (we are still friendly though). I am single again. Even though I am older and older looking, my personality has changed a lot and I now get dates. I've dated 8 men in the past year and will be dating number 9 soon (just casual stuff and most just one date where we found out we really weren't a match... no man and I have hit it off enough to be exclusive yet). That's more dates than I had from the time I was 18-25... in just one year.

Anyway, I have a lot of points. I am not sure if they are applicable to men or not, but I thought it might be worth sharing if it helped someone:

1) If you are introverted or shy (which seems to be what afflicts a lot of men on this forum), it hurts you no matter what your sex, no matter how great a person you are, or even how good you look. The best way to get around this is just talk to members of opposite sex--not for the purpose of dating, but for the purpose of just being friendly.

2) Some of us are "late bloomers" when it comes to the opposite sex. And guys, you have an advantage because you get better looking as you age (in my opinion anyway). So don't stress. Work on yourself and improve yourself and your life and things will eventually come to you. In reality, there aren't very many "40-year-old virgins" But there are a lot of very inexperienced men and women in their 20s.

3) Don't think it's some conspiracy by women of a hive mind who are all out to get you. If you think that you will come across as crazy... and soon after that bitter. Just like men, women are individuals too and a lot of them are going though the same things you are. Sure there are witchy women and jerks of men... but while they are loud, they are the minority.

OP, I wish you the best and good luck.
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