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long story short, I struggle severely in dating because of 2 reasons - 1)I hate to approach because I feel like every decent looking girl I see will be taken or not interested in me anyways and 2)When I do approach, my desperation absolutely kills me. I just cannot be my normal, cool, fun, carefree self. I want it to happen soooo badly that I force it way too much. I'm seemingly not capable of removing myself from the outcome. There is nothing wrong with me - I'm a normal dude and I have no problem talking to women on a platonic level. On a romantic level though, I'm an absolute disaster
What causes this? I would think it's related to lack of self esteem but I feel pretty good about myself and especially where I stand with everything I've accomplished by my age. How can I be myself around women and just let it come to me without forcing it so hard?
long story short, I struggle severely in dating because of 2 reasons - 1)I hate to approach because I feel like every decent looking girl I see will be taken or not interested in me anyways and 2)When I do approach, my desperation absolutely kills me. I just cannot be my normal, cool, fun, carefree self. I want it to happen soooo badly that I force it way too much. I'm seemingly not capable of removing myself from the outcome. There is nothing wrong with me - I'm a normal dude and I have no problem talking to women on a platonic level. On a romantic level though, I'm an absolute disaster
What causes this? I would think it's related to lack of self esteem but I feel pretty good about myself and especially where I stand with everything I've accomplished by my age. How can I be myself around women and just let it come to me without forcing it so hard?
Perhaps its fear of rejection. May I suggest that you approach every situation as if it were just platonic. I think the best relationships are those where you start off as friends and then it turns into romance. Why expect romance initially? Just be yourself and try not to expect too much. If you are rejected, just take it as a learning experience and move on. Its really not that big a deal. I think you'll find the right person when you actually aren't even looking - it will happen when you least expect it. Enjoy this time in your life. I wish I were young again and dating - the best time of my life!
Perhaps its fear of rejection. May I suggest that you approach every situation as if it were just platonic. I think the best relationships are those where you start off as friends and then it turns into romance. Why expect romance initially? Just be yourself and try not to expect too much. If you are rejected, just take it as a learning experience and move on. Its really not that big a deal. I think you'll find the right person when you actually aren't even looking - it will happen when you least expect it. Enjoy this time in your life. I wish I were young again and dating - the best time of my life!
but isn't that a way to put yourself in friend zone?
I did that with a female co worker I wanted to date and now we're just friends, she has no interest at all in dating me
First thing, dont force it, be yourself,
2nd thing first impression is important, humor kills off the stress, somethin funny to break the ice will make everything easier! if it flows from there it will, if it doesn't flow after first day of meeting it will never flow, just cut it off move on to the next
but you will make it worse, the more you focus on the problem the bigger it will be, just be yourself, dont think about the future,
but isn't that a way to put yourself in friend zone?
I did that with a female co worker I wanted to date and now we're just friends, she has no interest at all in dating me
Not necessarily. Some women are just not interested in a person romantically. However, if he is a decent guy and she likes him enough, she will consider him a friend.
That said, it is better to make your intentions known sooner rather than later. Before you know it, she might find herself in a relationship.
Some women will hold on to that hope of being with you if she is attracted.
I'm not an advocate for aiming low, but I don't understand why you couldn't build your confidence by practicing with females who aren't quite the level you are initially attracted to. Date a few, and constantly climb the ladder. Don't think of it as dating down, but just practicing your delivery, until you feel comfortable enough to step up to a higher level.
I'm not an advocate for aiming low, but I don't understand why you couldn't build your confidence by practicing with females who aren't quite the level you are initially attracted to. Date a few, and constantly climb the ladder. Don't think of it as dating down, but just practicing your delivery, until you feel comfortable enough to step up to a higher level.
Ive already had some dating experiences with women much less attractive than myself
Now just looking for someone on the same level
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