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Old 10-04-2013, 11:10 AM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,133,549 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheektowaga_Chester View Post
Another question is, how much cheating is acceptable? For example, if fantasizing about someone else is cheating, is it also understandable, "normal", and acceptable?
I wouldn't find that cheating. I think it's normal to fantasize about someone.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
I came across a study once that found that for 75% of women, an emotional affair is more hurtful than a physical one.

Of course, emotional cheating does not mean 'talking about stuff'.

It means falling head over heels in love, telling your affair partner and yourself that you have never loved anyone this intensely and that you never loved your spouse at all, doing all the romantic stuff together -- buying them flowers every day, talking long walks and watching sunsets or going on spa weekends or whatever. And completely absenting yourself emotionally from your spouse, treating them like an unpleasant roommate.
Yeah I get that too. Meanwhile with men, they were more disturbed by the actual physical cheating. They make a lot more sense than those women.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:12 AM
 
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Emotional cheating is just foreplay (or gathering up their nerve) for the inevitable. The couple participating in it knows it, even if they don't want to admit it.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:15 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 42,006,090 times
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If it's something you hide from your spouse, it's probably cheating. If there's nothing wrong with emailing women on Craigslist and asking them to send you naked pictures, why hide it? In the thread going right now about the woman, her married coworker, and his jealous wife, the man texts his female friend behind his wife's back. That's a pretty good indication that something is rotten in Denmark.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
If it's something you hide from your spouse, it's probably cheating. If there's nothing wrong with emailing women on Craigslist and asking them to send you naked pictures, why hide it?
Honestly, I wouldn't really mind that too much as long as it's not done frequently to the point of interfering in the relationship, his job, the intimacy nor to the point of him developing a serious addiction over that.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:22 AM
 
22,769 posts, read 30,237,952 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
If there's nothing wrong with emailing women on Craigslist and asking them to send you naked pictures, why hide it?
i'm not sure if i follow your thinking here. something can be 'wrong', without cheating. you could just be talking about a more general breach of trust.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Gaston, South Carolina
15,585 posts, read 9,086,234 times
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Some people think it's cheating if a married man and his younger, single subordinate go out drinking after work while his wife is at home. Dang it. Sorry. Wrong thread.

Really, it depends on what the definition of is is.

Seriously, cheating is different in every relationship. My question would be to the OP on the Love Shack forum: Did they set up boundaries before hand? Did she specifically say that something like this should be considered cheating. It is sleazy behaviour on his part and maybe it should be a dealbreaker for her, but if they have spent two years together, certainly they have talked about what would be considered cheating. If they hadn't, that's just dumb.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by le roi View Post
i'm not sure if i follow your thinking here. something can be 'wrong', without cheating having occured.
Exactly.

Interesting how even as a woman myself, I don't get those other women's way of thinking regarding cheating and freaking out easily over every little thing that has to do with online porn. A long while ago, I once read a thread about a woman crying as soon as she found out her husband only looked at porn pictures of other women and went to the extreme of considering that cheating. That poor husband was practically crucified by her.

I still think guys are more logical when defining what is cheating to them.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:30 AM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,133,549 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Photog View Post
Some people think it's cheating if a married man and his younger, single subordinate go out drinking after work while his wife is at home. Dang it. Sorry. Wrong thread.

Really, it depends on what the definition of is is.

Seriously, cheating is different in every relationship. My question would be to the OP on the Love Shack forum: Did they set up boundaries before hand? Did she specifically say that something like this should be considered cheating. It is sleazy behaviour on his part and maybe it should be a dealbreaker for her, but if they have spent two years together, certainly they have talked about what would be considered cheating. If they hadn't, that's just dumb.
Well that poster said she did told me her views on cheating and so did he but he still doesn't understand hers.
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Old 10-04-2013, 11:32 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 42,006,090 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
i'm not sure if i follow your thinking here. something can be 'wrong', without cheating. you could just be talking about a more general breach of trust.
Yeah, we're dealing with squishy and subjective terms. It's all in the eye of the beholder. Some guys don't think Clinton lied when he said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" because oral doesn't count. Some women think looking at porn is cheating. It's all over the place. For us, we don't approve of sneaking around. A breach of trust is a good way to put it.
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