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Old 10-04-2013, 01:23 PM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,133,168 times
Reputation: 1072

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL View Post
Well, i was half joking, but if my boyfriend would talk everyday to, say, a girl who lives in another country, and needs her, and misses her, and thinks of her everyday, and falls for her in some way, even if theres no physical contact....

I would consider that to be more cheating than him making out drunk with a girl in a party, or even having a ons with someone....

I could probably forgive the second case, but it will be impossible for me to forgive the first one.
Yeah you're different from me. I would find the second case unforgivable (esp if it was sex) but work out on the first unless he really wants to be with the other woman, then we would have something to talk about.

I guess that guy in the story would be feel more relief if I were his gf.
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:31 PM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,133,168 times
Reputation: 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY View Post
i don't call that cheating but it could certainly lead there and i would call it douchebagging. possibly a breakup offense too

re porn, this isn't like porn at all, those are real girls (or guys pretending) and it's real communication. stroking it and closing a few livejasmin pop up windows isn't real communication with another person
I recalled once long ago talking dirty through yahoo ims to an online guy either from another country or state. The chat would include some sexual material or flirty things such as him saying he would like to meet me and what he studies, etc but I never had an intention of meeting that guy in real life. That was years ago and it was just virtual thing to me. I admit, in a way I was only joking around then and did it for fun.
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:33 PM
 
Location: socal baby
1,355 posts, read 2,503,806 times
Reputation: 922
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY View Post
i don't call that cheating but it could certainly lead there and i would call it douchebagging. possibly a breakup offense too

re porn, this isn't like porn at all, those are real girls (or guys pretending) and it's real communication. stroking it and closing a few livejasmin pop up windows isn't real communication with another person
okay, odysseus, i know you're a more reasonable guy with experience than timberhead that doesnt agree with me about concepts like emotional commitment, leakage and affairs. so here goes, lets have an intellectual discussion about this.

--do you think a guy can have an emotional affair with a cam girl he only chats with online (and when done without the knowledge and approval of his SO)?

--what about when he sends her "gifts" or starts dropping big bucks as "donations" and having private sessions with the cam girl?

--do you think it can get to the point of no longer being concerned about his SO's intimate feels for her? when does it become a problem, if ever?

and here's something different for you to think about...

I have suddenly discovered texting and chatting up several long distance hot younger babes that i met online that realistically the chances of meeting them are remote... right now (yeah, i could always fly them out to meet me in LA, NYC, vegas, miami or event, e.g., music festival, concerts, sports events, etc but not there yet). anyway my cell phone is blowing up with hotties texting me from across the country about whats going on in their/my day and lives, sexting me, sending me hot pics/shapchats of them, hot skype sessions, etc. man, it is fricken seriously mind blowing dude, no kidding. and i think i could keep this up for a long time and always add new ones.

well, if there is no intimacy actually involved, should i tell my next serious dating/gf about these long distance connections? or don't bother cuz it's not "cheating"?
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:36 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,934 posts, read 35,881,739 times
Reputation: 40596
Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin View Post
okay, odysseus, i know you're a more reasonable guy with experience than timberhead that doesnt agree with me about concepts like emotional commitment, leakage and affairs. so here goes, lets have an intellectual discussion about this.

Oh, man, you're laughable. Leakage? Hahaha. If you want to consider going to a strip club (I personally don't don't like them) or looking at porn as "cheating", then go ahead. But don't pat yourself on the back for feeling superior. You aren't.
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:43 PM
 
Location: socal baby
1,355 posts, read 2,503,806 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Oh, man, you're laughable. Leakage? Hahaha. If you want to consider going to a strip club (I personally don't don't like them) or looking at porn as "cheating", then go ahead. But don't pat yourself on the back for feeling superior. You aren't.
listen bud, i'm only sharing what i've learned after being involved in more committed relationships than you will have and having banged more hot babes then you ever will in your life. i don't say that to be insulting, just trying to share experiences that i've learned. No i don't think I'm superior to others, other ppl can live their own lives with their own beliefs as they see fit. i'm not concerned with their path, just mine. sorry if i offended you but if you don't think porn and cheating are related, i just disagree based on experience. i'm sure your opinions are based on your own experience.
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:44 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,934 posts, read 35,881,739 times
Reputation: 40596
Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin View Post
listen bud, i'm only sharing what i've learned after being involved in more committed relationships than you will have and having banged more hot babes then you ever will in your life. i don't say that to be insulting, just trying to share experiences that i've learned. No i don't think I'm superior to others, other ppl can live their own lives with their own beliefs as they see fit. i'm not concerned with their path, just mine. sorry if i offended you but if you don't think porn and cheating are related, i just disagree based on experience. i'm sure your opinions are based on your own experience.

There you go... being an internet tough guy and patting yourself on your back. You know nothing about me. But go ahead internet tough guy. You sound like an immature kid, honestly, probably in his 20s.
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:46 PM
 
Location: socal baby
1,355 posts, read 2,503,806 times
Reputation: 922
11th grade, gonna be a senior next year and finally graduate... hopefully.

Class of 2014 baby!!!!!
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:48 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,934 posts, read 35,881,739 times
Reputation: 40596
Figures
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:48 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,427 posts, read 3,927,754 times
Reputation: 2299
Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin View Post
--do you think a guy can have an emotional affair with a cam girl he only chats with online (and when done without the knowledge and approval of his SO)?

--what about when he sends her "gifts" or starts dropping big bucks as "donations" and having private sessions with the cam girl?
i don't call that an "emotional affair" because cam girls are in it for the money. to me "affair" implies two voluntary non paid participants over a period of time (at least weeks). for instance, i don't call screwing a prostitute having an affair either. but it's getting closer to "cheating" and again it's quite douchey and possibly worth breaking up over. at which point there's not much point in arguing about nomenclature

this is the sort of place where there's so much grey area that definitions are a big fluid

on a side note, i could completely see a couple that allows things like camming with strangers. i wouldn't want to be in such a relationship myself, but just to point out there's nothing inherently wrong with it and it could be used as a sort of modified harmless play. not of course when lying and wasting money is involved though



Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin View Post
--do you think it can get to the point of no longer being concerned about his SO's intimate feels for her? when does it become a problem, if ever?
of course it can. you don't need a camgirl for that though, people grow apart for any number of reasons

it becomes a problem whenever one or more of a variety of factors gets out of hand. deception, sexual dysfunction, lack of communication, fantasy becoming more important than reality, etc



Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin View Post
and here's something different for you to think about...

I have suddenly discovered texting and chatting up several long distance hot younger babes that i met online that realistically the chances of meeting them are remote... right now (yeah, i could always fly them out to meet me in LA, NYC, vegas, miami or event, e.g., music festival, concerts, sports events, etc but not there yet). anyway my cell phone is blowing up with hotties texting me from across the country about whats going on in their/my day and lives, sexting me, sending me hot pics/shapchats of them, hot skype sessions, etc. man, it is fricken seriously mind blowing dude, no kidding. and i think i could keep this up for a long time and always add new ones.

well, if there is no intimacy actually involved, should i tell my next serious dating/gf about these long distance connections? or don't bother cuz it's not "cheating"?
if you're exclusive and you want it to go somewhere you should stop it entirely. there is no room for that kind of stuff in a serious relationship. why tell her if you're just starting, it will just cause problems. simply put it in the past

if you're not exclusive, well then by all means go to town on these hotties
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Old 10-04-2013, 01:53 PM
 
1,035 posts, read 2,021,744 times
Reputation: 2179
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY View Post
i don't call that cheating but it could certainly lead there and i would call it douchebagging. possibly a breakup offense too

re porn, this isn't like porn at all, those are real girls (or guys pretending) and it's real communication with someone else. stroking it and closing a few livejasmin pop up windows isn't real communication
Seriously, what the hell is it with those pop-ups?! lol
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