What is really cheating to you? (women, lover, husband, sex)

[Laychick]

I was inspired by this thread made by this female poster:
I say he cheated, he says he didnt ... - LoveShack.org Community Forums

Honestly, I'm a bit more on that guy's side than her. IMO cheating would be anything that involves sexual or romantic physical contact done in person only. I don't see virtual flirting as cheating. I would just find that disrespectful and might break up but I wouldn't consider that cheating. I don't see chatting about personal things as cheating either. To me cheating is mainly physical cheating. And yes, penetration would be the worst type of cheating to me.

Cheating to me is: having sex with someone else or doing the other things (oral, anal, etc), fingering, humping into each other with clothes on or making out with someone else. If there isn't any type of actual physical contact then I don't think I would classify that as cheating; disrespectful yes but not cheating.

[Laychick]

I think I've always been slightly different from other women. I would be absolutely more disgusted if I got cheated on through penetration or the other sexual means than if it was in a romantic way that doesn't include getting infected with an STD or having those visual images of them in bed.

Overall, the guy in the story is disrespecting her but I don't find that cheating.

[upndown]

It used to be only considered cheating if you actually had some sort of sexual interaction, like someone got naked or there was penetration. Then someone cleverly expanded it to "emotional cheating" at some point in the '90s and that's taken firm hold. That basically makes it like "if you're even THINKING about cheating, then you're cheating," which is pretty lame.

[Laychick]

Originally Posted by upndown

That basically makes it like "if you're even THINKING about cheating, then you're cheating," which is pretty lame.

It is lame. I really don't understand why to some women, the so called ''emotional cheating'' is worst than the actual physical cheating.

With me it's the complete opposite. I'd rather deal with a man telling personal things to another woman than him jumping into bed with her. My health comes first than someone who not only did something so intimate but was also willing to put you at a risk of an STD.

[upndown]

Originally Posted by Laychick

It is lame. I really don't understand why to some women, the so called ''emotional cheating'' is worst than the actual physical cheating.

With me it's the complete opposite. I'd rather deal with a man telling personal things to another woman than him jumping into bed with her.

Supposedly it's because of "how we think of sex differently," which is also B.S. If you gave a woman the choice that her husband would talk to a woman about things or have sex with her, they'd all chose talking.

[NilaJones]

Originally Posted by upndown

It used to be only considered cheating if you actually had some sort of sexual interaction, like someone got naked or there was penetration. Then someone cleverly expanded it to "emotional cheating" at some point in the '90s and that's taken firm hold. That basically makes it like "if you're even THINKING about cheating, then you're cheating," which is pretty lame.

No, that's not what it means. You are lying to yourself when you say it is, lame-o.

[NilaJones]

Originally Posted by Laychick

It is lame. I really don't understand why to some women, the so called ''emotional cheating'' is worst than the actual physical cheating.

With me it's the complete opposite. I'd rather deal with a man telling personal things to another woman than him jumping into bed with her. My health comes first than someone who not only did something so intimate but was also willing to put you at a risk of an STD.

I came across a study once that found that for 75% of women, an emotional affair is more hurtful than a physical one.

Of course, emotional cheating does not mean 'talking about stuff'.

It means falling head over heels in love, telling your affair partner and yourself that you have never loved anyone this intensely and that you never loved your spouse at all, doing all the romantic stuff together -- buying them flowers every day, talking long walks and watching sunsets or going on spa weekends or whatever. And completely absenting yourself emotionally from your spouse, treating them like an unpleasant roommate.

[Cheektowaga_Chester]

Another question is, how much cheating is acceptable? For example, if fantasizing about someone else is cheating, is it also understandable, "normal", and acceptable?

[deargen]

line isn't in bed but in mind, so when it is crossed you can call it whatever but still this is cheating. so only time is left till it will be confirmed by bodies. said is true to women as well.

majority of men are not platonic lovers.

[le roi]

Originally Posted by Laychick

I was inspired by this thread made by this female poster:
I say he cheated, he says he didnt ... - LoveShack.org Community Forums

Honestly, I'm a bit more on that guy's side than her. IMO cheating would be anything that involves sexual or romantic physical contact done in person only. I don't see virtual flirting as cheating. I would just find that disrespectful and might break up but I wouldn't consider that cheating. I don't see chatting about personal things as cheating either. To me cheating is mainly physical cheating. And yes, penetration would be the worst type of cheating to me.

Cheating to me is: having sex with someone else or doing the other things (oral, anal, etc), fingering, humping into each other with clothes on or making out with someone else. If there isn't any type of actual physical contact then I don't think I would classify that as cheating; disrespectful yes but not cheating.

i completely agree with you.