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Old 10-05-2013, 04:57 PM
 
348 posts, read 502,448 times
Reputation: 601

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Then that woman obviously wasn't for you.

I HATE the macho/player/alpha type guy...and I like a guy who can actually come right out and tell me how he feels.

Like I said, the guy I'm seeing came right out and told me he liked me during our first date...considering it was an online date, it was also the first time we'd ever met. I LIKED that he was comfortable with himself and his emotions that he just came right out and said how he felt. I assume that if a guy is ambiguous or tries to play it cool that he's not interested in me. Oh, and he texted me within an hour of our date ending to make sure I got home alright and texted me the next afternoon just to say hello and see how my day went. I didn't think it was too forward at all.
Right. I think a true macho/alpha/whatever guy would just be forward.

I would never say "I had a great time, I'm in love with you, I want you to be my girlfriend". Instead "I had a great time, I'll call you this week so we can make plans for next weekend". And then send a text the next day to say hello and reiterate that I had a great time.

In fact, I just did all this

Being confident and desperate, yes, can be a fine line. Thing is, being confident is pretty easy because being desperate often requires overthinking it then acting like a wuss. Being confident is just being direct without being overbearing.
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Old 10-05-2013, 05:04 PM
 
35,104 posts, read 44,277,746 times
Reputation: 62297
I think you need to quit analyzing every moment of every day and quit making things much more complicated than they need to be.

You told her you like her, so what, it isn't like you demanded she go buy a wedding dress because you are flying her to vegas to get married before her marathon run or whatever sport it is she does.

Lighten up already and let the flow go where it will.
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Old 10-05-2013, 05:33 PM
 
7,453 posts, read 8,711,161 times
Reputation: 4676
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Aye.

Sounds like she might be one of those women who loves the attention in the moment but can't be bothered to put forth any effort in the meantime, especially if she can't be arsed to talk to you in real time between dates.

This is assuming you did call her, OP. If you didn't call her, yourself, then I can see why she's not putting any effort in, because texting is not the way to be genuine.

called her twice in the days following our date , she was working late one evening so couldn't answer but replied via text pretty quickly which was fair enough

I called her the following evening but she was at her swimming class , again she text me back reasonably quick , shes a nice polite girl , no complaints there , she said she prefers to chat via text
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Old 10-05-2013, 06:00 PM
 
Location: SF CA, USA
4,187 posts, read 4,661,912 times
Reputation: 4963
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
called her twice in the days following our date , she was working late one evening so couldn't answer but replied via text pretty quickly which was fair enough

I called her the following evening but she was at her swimming class , again she text me back reasonably quick , shes a nice polite girl , no complaints there , she said she prefers to chat via text
Most young people prefer to chat via text these days. When I first start dating here I would do what I always did before and call to set things up but quickly discovered that calling put women off, at least until the first few dates are out of the way. I don't know whether this is because people are nervous to talk on the phone or they just prefer texting for the convenience.
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Old 10-05-2013, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,109 posts, read 28,058,690 times
Reputation: 16297
Quote:
Originally Posted by ngroh View Post
I guess this is why men have so much trouble dating. Women's preferences for openness and honesty initially seem to be all over the map, some preferring disclosure of feelings and others preferring for men to feel out and not come on too strong.
Eh, it's not just women...everyone is different. What I like is VASTLY different than what my sister likes, for instance. And don't even get me started on my best friend...she loves the alpha/douchey/PUA type of guys that I can't even stand to be around. Probably why she has restraining orders against 2 ex-boyfriends

Regardless, every woman is different and will react to you differently which shouldn't be that surprising. I like honesty, but how I react will depend entirely on how I feel about the man in question.
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Old 10-05-2013, 11:10 PM
 
3,445 posts, read 3,930,894 times
Reputation: 4922
You investing time in her is more than enough proof that you are into her. I wouldn't start spouting out my feelings until I was ready to upgrade her to girlfriend status. Until then, enjoy her company and take it easy. There are a lot of women out here that play games with men. Don't be one of these simpletons out here that shares his deep inner feelings with every woman that gives him attention. Women look down on men that are desperate. Any woman that says other wise is lying.
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Old 10-06-2013, 01:18 AM
 
16,482 posts, read 22,369,219 times
Reputation: 16267
I don't think telling her that you like her and want to get to know her better after a first date is a big deal. It isn't like you told her you were in love with her. I think it is a nice thing to hear from a guy that they are interested and want to get to know you better. I think if she doesn't want to move forward it is not because you said that, but other things.
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Old 10-06-2013, 03:34 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,915 posts, read 9,886,630 times
Reputation: 13044
Quote:
Originally Posted by wall st kid View Post
The key is to ACT (whether its an act or not) that you are a man who has options and you're a man who's busy. Women like to know that a man can get other women and that that man is CHOOSING them as opposed to a man who's acting as if "this better work out because i dont know when my next date might be"
The key, my friend, is act like you like them, if you like them. Talk is cheap.
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Old 10-06-2013, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV
5,778 posts, read 13,193,371 times
Reputation: 3951
It's always too early to tell if a girl likes you. Until you have had sex then you will know for sure
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Old 10-07-2013, 12:47 AM
 
69 posts, read 85,030 times
Reputation: 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by DavieJ89 View Post
It's always too early to tell if a girl likes you. Until you have had sex then you will know for sure
_______________
I usually check; NOT if she has junk in 'her' trunk {I like a nice PHAT booty}--but more importantly if "she" properly tucks, eh?

No 'apparent' bulge and she is appears to be a 'feminine' girl--good to go, right?

peace/DG 43
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