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I saw this great story from this month's Vogue about an arranged marriage and "american" love! The author discusses how her parents fell in love, after 30 years of marriage (and her own relationship hangups when looking for love).
Anyway it is a good read and a really cute story. The author talks about how her parents marriage (and pop culture relationships) shaped her own vision of what her own relationships should be like.
“The problem with the Americans is that they get so wrapped up in this who-I-chose business,” my father, a surgeon and regular confidant of the OR nurses, told me when I was thirteen. “They will say, ‘He has changed’ or ‘She isn’t who I married.’ Indians never say that. We have no idea who we married!”
His logic was simple: When you don’t have passionate feelings to glaze over your partner’s flaws in early marriage, you are less likely to be undone by inevitable disappointments later on. True, I’d never seen my parents look dreamily at each other, but I’d also never heard them threaten divorce.
....
I barely noticed how close my mother was sitting to my father at dinner at our favorite restaurant. They watched me with giddy smiles. Poor parents, I thought. So lonely when I’m not here. Then I saw them playing footsie under the table.
That night, after we’d all gone to sleep, I woke up to the sound of them laughing. “You!” my mother squealed. “No, you!” my father insisted. I’d never heard them speak that way to each other in my life. Were they . . . flirting?
Adi from the Brunswicks I am thinking of you here!
“The problem with the Americans is that they get so wrapped up in this who-I-chose business,” my father, a surgeon and regular confidant of the OR nurses, told me when I was thirteen. “They will say, ‘He has changed’ or ‘She isn’t who I married.’ Indians never say that. We have no idea who we married!”
This is funny. Kinda cool. Would be a great comedy routine. Arranged marriages can work. But they can also bomb. And if the woman is expected to fulfill all the marital duties.....*...... but she knows he's not into her, but she has to do it anyway? Not good. I read an article once about a woman in that situation. Eye opening.
I saw this great story from this month's Vogue about an arranged marriage and "american" love! The author discusses how her parents fell in love, after 30 years of marriage (and her own relationship hangups when looking for love).
Anyway it is a good read and a really cute story. The author talks about how her parents marriage (and pop culture relationships) shaped her own vision of what her own relationships should be like.
About a month ago I was watching Mo Rocca's "My Grandma's Ravioli" and there were 2 Indian women on the show. They were the best of friends and almost sisters. They both immigrated from India at young ages with new husbands that they barely knew. Both of them were also married by arranged marriage and have been married for over 40 years and they both had beautiful big families. Mo asked them about arranged marriages and they said something along the lines of, "You have no choice but to love that person for who they are. Love is about giving and not expecting anything in return."
Look for Meena and Mona. If you want to see just about the arranged marriages skip to about 10 minutes.
What Jacob is emphasizing is the romantic aspects of their relationship. That is why Vogue published it, to show that romantic love and arranged marriages are not incompatible. This is perhaps the style of modern, urban upper- and upper middle class relationships in West Asia, including some immigrants from the region in developed countries. It is not necessarily typical.
That is not to say that the typical arranged marriage is full of spousal brutality and subjugated women.
My BF is Indian and went through with an arranged marriage, and got a divorce after four years. Many times these things just don't work out. There are positives and negatives to it just like our ways. I just wonder about his ex wife, because he is so easy to get along with and really close to my ideal man (apart from the cultural difference, which is a big issue). When I think about her I just feel that she must have been a very stupid woman. In reality, she was probably pushed into a marriage that she didn't want, and took it out on him in a passive-aggressive way. I'm sorry he had to go through it
My BF is Indian and went through with an arranged marriage, and got a divorce after four years. Many times these things just don't work out. There are positives and negatives to it just like our ways. I just wonder about his ex wife, because he is so easy to get along with and really close to my ideal man (apart from the cultural difference, which is a big issue). When I think about her I just feel that she must have been a very stupid woman. In reality, she was probably pushed into a marriage that she didn't want, and took it out on him in a passive-aggressive way. I'm sorry he had to go through it
You see, its just certain cultural rules which are the tough wall for me to break through . If Hinduism stated that I was given a voice equal to my parents on forming relationships, then all is fine. I just want my words to be noticed and considered.
You see, its just certain cultural rules which are the tough wall for me to break through . If Hinduism stated that I was given a voice equal to my parents on forming relationships, then all is fine. I just want my words to be noticed and considered.
If your parents wanted to arrange a marriage and you met the girl but then said "no", would that be ok?
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. Thanks for the read. 
.
. If Hinduism stated that I was given a voice equal to my parents on forming relationships, then all is fine. I just want my words to be noticed and considered.
