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Old 03-23-2014, 01:08 PM
3,009 posts, read 3,584,267 times
Reputation: 2371


Originally Posted by ktchong View Post
Ironically, in recent years there there have been a surge in the number of older single men who decided that they wanted a baby - but also determined that they would NOT want to be with a single mother. So they decided to use in-vitro fertilization and surrogacy to have their own biological children. Those single men are generally very successful and wealthy - because they certainly can afford expensive in-vitro fertilization and surrogacy.

YouTube (News Report): Single Men Are Choosing to Start Their Own Families - without a Mother

The Guardian: Why men decide to become single dads

NPR: Single Dads By Choice: More Men Going It Alone

Some women must be thinking: why couldn't those men just find women if they wanted children? The answer is obvious if you think about it. (At least it's obvious to me.) Women in their age groups are generally either single mothers (or women who are infertile, who would be useless for those men's purpose.) I can empathize with those men who do not want to waste their money and resources into raising other men's children, and want their own biological children.

So. There you go: men who are determined to never date/marry single mothers, determined not to raise and pay for other men's children, but still want children of their own.
I am thinking of being a single dad if i cant find a good woman . I want to be a dad some day but i got to get a better job .
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Old 03-23-2014, 05:43 PM
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,202,306 times
Reputation: 9635
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
In some people's minds, it seems that single mothers are grouped as a whole. There should be subcategories, though, like:

1. Single mother who was in a stable relationship for five or ten years, until it fell apart. The kid(s) are all from this one relationship.

2. Single mother who has has several relationships, and as a result, has two or more kids by different fathers.

3. Older single mother who decided that she wanted a baby and would do anything to get it, even if there would be no father around (sperm bank, "donation" from a male friend, etc.).

I have a problem with #2 and #3. #3 in particular was extremely selfish to plan a life in which this child is growing up with no father. Men aren't accessories!

#1 is just deluded into thinking that a living together arrangement is the same as being married. It's not. Anyone who says that is simply not being truthful. My response is always, "If living together and being married are the same, then why not get married?"

#2 needs long term birth control and family planning! These women are the ones men have a difficult time respecting, because they chose wrong not just once but sometimes several times. (I know we all make bad choices, especially in our 20s, but women with children from more than dad unfortunately have visible evidence of their bad judgment.) By the way, I'm not saying that the kids are anything but wonderful. Some men may not see it this way, that's all.

I would judge single fathers in the same way; men don't get a free pass.
You're forgetting that many in the #1 category were married, much like myself, for a decade. The majority of women with children in my social circle were married for several years.
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Old 03-23-2014, 06:18 PM
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,588 posts, read 17,306,205 times
Reputation: 9451
Metaphysique, I was married, too. We're in another group called "divorced mothers". Single mothers have never been married.
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Old 03-23-2014, 06:32 PM
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,678,007 times
Reputation: 6561
I never wanted to date a divorced mother, and up until 6 months ago I never had. So now I'm nearly 6 months into a relationship with a divorced mother with a 3 year old daughter. I'm contemplating a future with her. I decided I needed to be open to dating a divorced mother because I'm 45. While I'd like to marry a woman who has never been married and doesn't have kids, I now live in Oklahoma and this isn't an option. This girl's father is completely out of the picture, so it could be a real good opportunity for me to raise her as my own and maybe even have another child (my gf is 35). So in the end I'm glad I changed my mind on this.
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:09 PM
6,318 posts, read 7,092,630 times
Reputation: 11985
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
Metaphysique, I was married, too. We're in another group called "divorced mothers". Single mothers have never been married.
Why don't we just put the labels away?
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