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Honestly, I do not understand the extreme hostility I getting over this topic from some people. I have posted topics before where I expected a hostile reaction, but this was a surprise.
I don't feel like I'm being hostile. I just said that your OP came off to me as if you were trying to tell people they have no choice but to date single mothers. I guess people are reacting to you because it's sort of a strange question. If you had just said "I know a lot of people don't see themselves dating single mothers and I was one of them when I was younger. But here's what changed my mind. Blah blah blah. What do you think?" That would be way different. Instead, you came off as "you think you won't, but guess what, you're left with no other options! Owned!!"
I am a 44 year old man now dating a woman with 2 teenage children. But when I was in my early 20s, I vowed I would never date a women with kids. I was curious if young men could see themselves changing their minds someday.
There's a big difference between dating a divorced/widowed woman in her 40s with teenaged kids, and an early 20s single mother with a couple of toddlers by different daddies who aren't around... or worse, ARE.
I already explained that once, but I'll do it again.
I am a 44 year old man now dating a woman with 2 teenage children. But when I was in my early 20s, I vowed I would never date a women with kids. I was curious if young men could see themselves changing their minds someday.
Honestly, I do not understand the extreme hostility I getting over this topic from some people. I have posted topics before where I expected a hostile reaction, but this was a surprise.
It seems like you started three threads in a row that makes men not appear in a positive light. Now if you were a woman I wouldn't care, but you are a male and it puzzles me why you had to do this three times in a row.
But to answer your question, I'm 41 and I'm not and probably will never be interested in single moms. I don't want to be second choice in a relationship, nor do I want to take responsibility for someone else's child. Also I don't want to spend my money on children unless I personally am the father.
Most relationships will always have hardships. Single moms increase those odds.
It seems like you started three threads in a row that makes men not appear in a positive light. Now if you were a woman I wouldn't care, but you are a male and it puzzles me why you had to do this three times in a row.
But to answer your question, I'm 41 and I'm not and probably will never be interested in single moms. I don't want to be second choice in a relationship, nor do I want to take responsibility for someone else's child. Also I don't want to spend my money on children unless I personally am the father.
Most relationships will always have hardships. Single moms increase those odds.
Again, I fail to see why not wanting to date a woman without children is negative. That is a perfectly valid choice. I just think it is a tough one to carry through your whole life.
Honestly, I am beginning to think that for some of the guys on CD, any man who expresses any sympathy for women whatsoever is somehow suspect. He either hates other men, or is "white knighting." I guess I will just have to learn to ignore it...
I just said that your OP came off to me as if you were trying to tell people they have no choice but to date single mothers
Though, his statistic is pretty compelling.
Just like with statistics of men and height, and women who claim to refuse to date a man below a certain size.
Though, his statistic is pretty compelling.
Just like with statistics of men and height, and women who claim to refuse to date a man below a certain size.
I guess that's a good point. For short guys, I don't see anyone saying "hey, ladies, all the tall men are taken, so you'd better start dating shorter guys." People just say "yeah, keep waiting around, there will be a tall guy for you!"
...are most of you fairly young? Do you think you will still feel the same way in 20 years if you haven't found someone?
I ask because I recently came across an interesting statistic: in the US, the percentage of heterosexual women over 35 who have never had children is only about 18%. And that, believe it or not, is significantly higher than it was 30 years ago.
That means if you reach your late-30s/early 40s and are still single, your chances of finding a woman without children is pretty small. If you maintain your determination never to date anyone with kids, you'll have to eliminate over 80% of women your own age from your dating pool before you even get into questions of mutual attraction, compatibility, etc.
If that time comes, will any of you reconsider?
And you tell this in a world where about 1 in 5 women never had a child throughout her life? I mean... REALLY? You forgot that most men focus most of their attempts to find someone primarily among younger age groups. Another wrong assumption - most older men don't want to date women from their age group. They'll increase their age group mainly not to have too big age difference but many men will never go farther from late 20s and early 30s for seeking someone to have a family. Eliminating 80% of women... are you serious? Not all women with children are actually dating either. At least half of them aren't even single, another big number are dating someone already, a huge number of single mothers aren't trying to date, etc. You forgot that part, didn't you. At that same time, most of child-free women are single AND willing to date.
Honestly, I do not understand the extreme hostility I getting over this topic from some people. I have posted topics before where I expected a hostile reaction, but this was a surprise.
Quote:
Honestly, I am beginning to think that for some of the guys on CD, any man who expresses any sympathy for women whatsoever is somehow suspect. He either hates other men, or is "white knighting." I guess I will just have to learn to ignore it...
In this thread and your others, you are getting the hostility that women get every day on CDR. Did you not notice how severe it was until it was directed at you? Or are you being disingenuous to prompt discussion?
I ask because I, too, am interested in how humans think .
...are most of you fairly young? Do you think you will still feel the same way in 20 years if you haven't found someone?
I ask because I recently came across an interesting statistic: in the US, the percentage of heterosexual women over 35 who have never had children is only about 18%. And that, believe it or not, is significantly higher than it was 30 years ago.
That means if you reach your late-30s/early 40s and are still single, your chances of finding a woman without children is pretty small. If you maintain your determination never to date anyone with kids, you'll have to eliminate over 80% of women your own age from your dating pool before you even get into questions of mutual attraction, compatibility, etc.
If that time comes, will any of you reconsider?
I think when those men get to our age, the question will be "What ages and how many?"
Again, I fail to see why not wanting to date a woman without children is negative. That is a perfectly valid choice. I just think it is a tough one to carry through your whole life.
Honestly, I am beginning to think that for some of the guys on CD, any man who expresses any sympathy for women whatsoever is somehow suspect. He either hates other men, or is "white knighting." I guess I will just have to learn to ignore it...
Hehehe
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