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He didn't mean to fall asleep, but he probably should have apologized, but come on, he's not being that big of a jerk.
Because I know that *I* call someone who is doing something nice for me, then diddle around, reclining on comfy couches while they keep dinner warm for me All The Time.
Whatever works. Eh?
Quote:
Secondly, when someone is in a relationship with someone they've lost attraction to, they tend to lash out. I mean he married her and he turned the relationship around. Whether or not she is grade A bish, that's something to be proud of.
Meh. If that makes you proud, rock it I guess. I would not be proud of being in a relationship with that.
Oy the screaming guy? So I guess I am equally disgusted with men and women alike in your piece.
Because I know that *I* call someone who is doing something nice for me, then diddle around, reclining on comfy couches while they keep dinner warm for me All The Time.
Whatever works. Eh?
Meh. If that makes you proud, rock it I guess. I would not be proud of being in a relationship with that.
Oy the screaming guy? So I guess I am equally disgusted with men and women alike in your piece.
Not saying the guy is husband of the year material, just a good example of how he changed some of his behaviors. Instead of being the puppy dog that was scared of his wives dog house that he would beg to get out of, he became stronger and not supplicating, which is exactly what the book you referenced teaches. And that IS game.
Wow, my reaction to that heartiste article was to feel deeply sad for the guy.
He really seems to think it's about gender. He seems to believe that not being passive aggressive is a man thing, instead of just an adult thing.
And this is a pretty good example -- he learned a useful thing about how to relate to humans from PUA, but then he also learned a bunch of myths about gender there that are going to make his life still partially suck.
I think he would be a lot happier if he looked at other sources, and found the same lessons without the self-hatred and the weird issues around power and control.
Not acting submissive is great, and a good life lesson. Well, half of a good life lesson. The other half is: Don't act dominant, either, because anyone who needs to dominate is weak.
Strong humans (of any gender) are only really comfortable with equality in their romantic relationship. Acting dominant is just going to make him, and her, think he is a wimp who is covering. Same as the sports cars.
It's also the same as the dynamic in an abusive relationship (which the author hints at). Women stay with abusive partners, in many cases, because they feel sorry for them. He is so weak that he has to bluster and punch. She cares about him and knows he will fall apart if he is alone.
Eventually she gets some sense, of course, if he doesn't kill her first. And this author's wife is not going to stick around forever. She will find a guy who has the b*lls to be playful, and not passive, and not try to dominate, either.
Last edited by NilaJones; 10-10-2013 at 08:29 PM..
I was in the dating market for a long time and have heard from the girls in NYC that the self-thumping alphas and the PUA's from bars always end up being a disappointment. Smaller penises, premature ejaculation, quick jizzing, erectile dysfunction and issue of every other sort. The notion is that it is this shortcoming which makes them so forward to cover. Like the guy who drives a Vette
Hey now, my SO has a Vette and he has none of those problems.
This guy, he scares his wife so badly that she doesn't feel safe being in the front seat with him, and when she sexes him up later that night he actually thinks that it's because he turned her on when he got angry, instead of realising that she is still scared and is trying to appease the monster her husband has apparently become.
She's not the most psychologically healthy person, either, of course. If she was, as soon as he was gone the next day she would have left, permanently. But she probably hoped it was a one time thing...
Wow, my reaction to that heartiste article was to feel deeply sad for the guy.
He really seems to think it's about gender. He seems to believe that not being passive aggressive is a man thing, instead of just an adult thing.
And this is a pretty good example -- he learned a useful thing about how to relate to humans from PUA, but then he also learned a bunch of myths about gender there that are going to make his life still partially suck.
I think he would be a lot happier if he looked at other sources, and found the same lessons without the self-hatred and the weird issues around power and control.
Not acting submissive is great, and a good life lesson. Well, half of a good life lesson. The other half is: Don't act dominant, either, because anyone who needs to dominate is weak.
It is not about being dominant. It is about being a jerk. A guy can be fun, assertive and not take any dramatic crap and still be a good man. (I say this as I look across the table at my husband.) If you get your info from these PUA sites, from what I see, you are going to be awash in these examples of douchebaggery.
This guy, he scares his wife so badly that she doesn't feel safe being in the front seat with him, and when she sexes him up later that night he actually thinks that it's because he turned her on when he got angry, instead of realising that she is still scared and is trying to appease the monster her husband has apparently become.
She's not the most psychologically healthy person, either, of course. If she was, as soon as he was gone the next day she would have left, permanently. But she probably hoped it was a one time thing...
This is not exactly a model relationship.
Guy says its the only time he's ever lost his anger with her and now he's a monster and she's frightened to death? He didn't even hit her, he yelled at her. Please. Get off that ultra fem high horse.
Wow, my reaction to that heartiste article was to feel deeply sad for the guy.
He really seems to think it's about gender. He seems to believe that not being passive aggressive is a man thing, instead of just an adult thing.
And this is a pretty good example -- he learned a useful thing about how to relate to humans from PUA, but then he also learned a bunch of myths about gender there that are going to make his life still partially suck.
I think he would be a lot happier if he looked at other sources, and found the same lessons without the self-hatred and the weird issues around power and control.
Not acting submissive is great, and a good life lesson. Well, half of a good life lesson. The other half is: Don't act dominant, either, because anyone who needs to dominate is weak.
Strong humans (of any gender) are only really comfortable with equality in their romantic relationship. Acting dominant is just going to make him, and her, think he is a wimp who is covering. Same as the sports cars.
It's also the same as the dynamic in an abusive relationship (which the author hints at). Women stay with abusive partners, in many cases, because they feel sorry for them. He is so weak that he has to bluster and punch. She cares about him and knows he will fall apart if he is alone.
Eventually she gets some sense, of course, if he doesn't kill her first. And this author's wife is not going to stick around forever. She will find a guy who has the b*lls to be playful, and not passive, and not try to dominate, either.
Men and women ARE different. Biologically AND psychologically. The sooner you people stop trying to convince the world otherwise the better.
It is not about being dominant. It is about being a jerk. A guy can be fun, assertive and not take any dramatic crap and still be a good man. (I say this as I look across the table at my husband.) If you get your info from these PUA sites, from what I see, you are going to be awash in these examples of douchebaggery.
I've read a lot of materials. Both PUA and non and they all send the same basic message. Unless you're some sheepish moron, you can filter the good from the bad.
I've read a lot of materials. Both PUA and non and they all send the same basic message. Unless you're some sheepish moron, you can filter the good from the bad.
Well, yeah, anything is good if you filter out the bad. The only problem with that theory is what's good will be subjective, and not everyone will choose wisely. Heck Nazi Germany, the Taliban, etc. are all great if you filter out the bad; and no, I'm not equating them to PUA. Basically what you say above is if you follow the PUA lessons you are a sheepish moron, which I don't disagree with.
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