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The second part of my series where I take common dating phrases and ask people if they believe it or not. This one is simple do you believe this statement is generally true, yes or no? Do you think it depends on the gender? How attractive the person is?
For me I think it's true for women, generally due to women not having to 'look' for someone, rather choosing among those who are 'looking' for them.
But for a guy, not looking for a partner is a guaranteed way to remain single, celibate and alone for as long as he makes that choice.
I think the real feeling behind that saying is, when you try "too hard" you end up... well, trying too hard. You get stressed, upset, try to put on a fake smile, etc, etc. That kind of radiates out from a person and you come across as fake or too forced. But when you aren't looking and you are just yourself and relaxed, you are more attractive to the opposite sex--and usually to the ones who are attracted to the "real" you.
I think the real feeling behind that saying is, when you try "too hard" you end up... well, trying too hard. You get stressed, upset, try to put on a fake smile, etc, etc. That kind of radiates out from a person and you come across as fake or too forced. But when you aren't looking and you are just yourself and relaxed, you are more attractive to the opposite sex--and usually to the ones who are attracted to the "real" you.
That's what I would say as well. It's sort of like trying to open a door with a key while you're freaking out. You're hands are shaking and you keep missing the hole. When you relax and just take your time - it all works out.
Also, when you try "too hard", your expectations go up, causing frustration to go up... no good. When you're not looking, relaxed, and not in a state of bitterness or despair, you might surprise yourself with who you end up falling for. The guys I end up falling for usually are nowhere near my Enrique Iglesias checklist.
The second part of my series where I take common dating phrases and ask people if they believe it or not. This one is simple do you believe this statement is generally true, yes or no? Do you think it depends on the gender? How attractive the person is?
For me I think it's true for women, generally due to women not having to 'look' for someone, rather choosing among those who are 'looking' for them.
But for a guy, not looking for a partner is a guaranteed way to remain single, celibate and alone for as long as he makes that choice.
First off, I think a really good looking, relatively successful guy can 'sit back and wait for it' every bit as much as hot to average women. In a different way but still.
I agree. The less physically attractive you are the less you can afford to sit back and wait for things to just develop naturally.
It's not really rocket science. The better looking you are, the more options you have of people who are attracted to you, the more chances you have to find somebody attractive who is compatible.
I've actually known a couple of guys (30s) who have never put in any real effort, and both have to my knowledge never gotten anything.
That's what I would say as well. It's sort of like trying to open a door with a key while you're freaking out. You're hands are shaking and you keep missing the hole. When you relax and just take your time - it all works out.
I never miss any hole!
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