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First 3 months, we'd see each other like 2-4 times a week. All is good. Past month, she began staying at my place almost everyday.
This morning she brings up how she wants to reevaluate the relationship. She feels that we are moving way too fast for a 4 month relationship. She says it's not the break i'm thinking about. She wants a future with me and really wants to the take it to the next step, relationship wise/fall in love,etc. Thinks that spending everyday this early will cause us to get sick/create fights over small things. She would like to keep it to weekends only so we have time to miss each other/think about the other person,etc.
So i asked "So you want to see if you really like me for the right reasons", and she said yes. She said she did the same thing in her last relationship which lasted 4 years.
Should i take this literally or is this just an angelic way of the "break" talk.
Just a few things like having a ton of guy friends/being flirty with guys/lying about small things to people other than me. I'm sure if she lies to other people, she wont hesitate to lie to me.
Just a couple of events that has happened the past month that is just making my gut feel weird.
I try my best to not worry since it's something that can't be stopped if she really wanted to do it.
trust your instincts, they exist for a reason. not saying it will be bad news, but it's telling you to be suspicious of her odd behavior. and it will eventually reveal itself if you don't ignore it
what we hear is such a small part of our human intelligence gathering. learn to hone and use yout instincts and fact finding abilities to your advantage by being more observant and develop a zen for it. after a while, you will be surprised about your ability to read other people and predict their actions. I make a living pretty much off my strategic judgment. ppl seek my advice for problem resolution and results. if you want my advice, start thinking about what options and scenarios you have for the various possible outcomes. then start steering your the situation in the direction best for you. and being surprised and not know how to handle what comes up is typically bad news for that unprepared person. good luck.
Well --- the last relationship only lasted 4 years.
I think you should take it as a "break" talk. I think you should also try to get a break from her, start seeing other people, doing other things, even on the weekends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikejannish
First 3 months, we'd see each other like 2-4 times a week. All is good. Past month, she began staying at my place almost everyday.
This morning she brings up how she wants to reevaluate the relationship. She feels that we are moving way too fast for a 4 month relationship. She says it's not the break i'm thinking about. She wants a future with me and really wants to the take it to the next step, relationship wise/fall in love,etc. Thinks that spending everyday this early will cause us to get sick/create fights over small things. She would like to keep it to weekends only so we have time to miss each other/think about the other person,etc.
So i asked "So you want to see if you really like me for the right reasons", and she said yes. She said she did the same thing in her last relationship which lasted 4 years.
Should i take this literally or is this just an angelic way of the "break" talk.
Give the space she wants.
She is probably just having flashbacks of past relationships.
If its another guy she is interested in then you are not "the one" she is after.
First 3 months, we'd see each other like 2-4 times a week. All is good. Past month, she began staying at my place almost everyday.
This morning she brings up how she wants to reevaluate the relationship. She feels that we are moving way too fast for a 4 month relationship. She says it's not the break i'm thinking about. She wants a future with me and really wants to the take it to the next step, relationship wise/fall in love,etc. Thinks that spending everyday this early will cause us to get sick/create fights over small things. She would like to keep it to weekends only so we have time to miss each other/think about the other person,etc.
So i asked "So you want to see if you really like me for the right reasons", and she said yes. She said she did the same thing in her last relationship which lasted 4 years.
Should i take this literally or is this just an angelic way of the "break" talk.
So you are not in love with her, or she is not in love with you? And she is sleeping with you every night?
Something is wrong with that, or maybe it's just me.
Interesting, I'm about to have this same conversation with my SO. For me it is a "break" talk, because if I say I want to break up altogether, it will be a huge drama that I don't need. He is a highly emotional person anyway (and really crazy in love with me, which is nice....up to a point).
I need a break to reevaluate things. It seems like his life has subsumed my life, and I never wanted that. It took me a long time to get my independence and value it. Then there is his teen son who is a fun-sucker. There are a lot of things I'm just not happy/uncomfortable with, and I need some space to see if they are deal-breakers.
I don't know if my talking about my situation can shed light on yours, it is probably very different.
I don't understand why people need to separate in order to "think things through." Or why they "need space" in order to "figure things out."
Is it so difficult to make decisions in the context of a relationship? You have to get away from the other person to be able to make a decision? I never understood that.
I don't understand why people need to separate in order to "think things through." Or why they "need space" in order to "figure things out."
Is it so difficult to make decisions in the context of a relationship? You have to get away from the other person to be able to make a decision? I never understood that.
She says that when we are together all the time, it doesn't give her the chance to see why she likesme.
By cutting down the frequency of seeing each Other, it'll let her see if she really likes me for who I am based on how much she'll miss me.
I just feel like she is just cushioning the inevitable
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