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Should i take this literally or is this just an angelic way of the "break" talk.
I would take her at face value until -- and if -- she proves otherwise. It sounds like she realized she (and you) were moving way too fast, which is what she said.
I would take her at face value until -- and if -- she proves otherwise. It sounds like she realized she (and you) were moving way too fast, which is what she said.
The gal in question has another guy. OP confirmed.
She has a lot of ties with her ex lover. Phone plan,keys to his house,her own bedroom,does his laundry,has dinner dates with him,uses his vehicles,showers in his master bathroom,runs errands for him,he gives her money,has his credit card,text and talks frequently when i'm not around. She has her own place. She says she loves me and now wants to slow things down. Am i being used and lied to when she says he is just a good friend. She also says she still loves him and has feelings for him. Am i a fool to stay with her?
When things are going well and she is spending the night on a regular basis and all of a sudden she comes up with the old "I need a break" idea, you have right to be concerned. What this means is "I met someone else and want to see if I like him more than you, but I want you to be there if it doesn't work out" kinda deal.
If it were me, I would tell her you thought about it and if that is what she wants, you are good with it. Even if you're not, she is going to do it anyway, so make her think you are on board with the decision. Tell her "just give me a call when you want to see me" and end the day/night like you normally would. Then, as hard as it will be DON'T contact her till she contacts you. If days go by, drop her a hey...how ya doing text and see what you get back.
My guess is if you don't persue her, you won't hear a word from her until she calls to tell you she has decided to see someone else. Whatever you do don't be shocked if this happens. You have already seen it coming.
There are those (mostly women) that won't agree with me on this, but I have been on the receiving end of this deal before. Best thing you can do is prepare yourself for the fact it is probably over and that way if it is, you won't be as hurt. If by some miracle it is not, then you will be pleasantly surprised. Either way, the goal is not to get hurt.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by webbra12
She has a lot of ties with her ex lover. Phone plan,keys to his house,her own bedroom,does his laundry,has dinner dates with him,uses his vehicles,showers in his master bathroom,runs errands for him,he gives her money,has his credit card,text and talks frequently when i'm not around. She has her own place. She says she loves me and now wants to slow things down. Am i being used and lied to when she says he is just a good friend. She also says she still loves him and has feelings for him. Am i a fool to stay with her?
She has a lot of ties with her ex lover. Phone plan,keys to his house,her own bedroom,does his laundry,has dinner dates with him,uses his vehicles,showers in his master bathroom,runs errands for him,he gives her money,has his credit card,text and talks frequently when i'm not around. She has her own place. She says she loves me and now wants to slow things down. Am i being used and lied to when she says he is just a good friend. She also says she still loves him and has feelings for him. Am i a fool to stay with her?
Just a few things like having a ton of guy friends/being flirty with guys/lying about small things to people other than me. I'm sure if she lies to other people, she wont hesitate to lie to me.
Just a couple of events that has happened the past month that is just making my gut feel weird.
Not good. A girl who is really into you for the long haul doesn't flirt with other guys and if she lies to others, she will lie to you as well.
I do think she is questioning the relationship and her feelings, and that's okay. It's only four months along. There are no rings on anyone's fingers, no leases signed. It's better that she do this now than a year from now. Maybe she will come to the conclusion that although she likes him, this was more of a flash-in-the-pan hot romance, or maybe she will discover that she has true and deep feelings for the OP. Either way, she deserves to have the space in which to breathe, without people assuming she's cheating on him or doesn't care about him at all.
Yes, and he deserves to start the moving on process until she makes up her mind.
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