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Old 10-14-2013, 06:32 PM
 
Location: socal baby
1,355 posts, read 2,540,103 times
Reputation: 928

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So i recently ran across some info regarding women using men for financial advantage. it was fairly eye openign, almost PUA like it the seduction community blogs and forums. And of course many here have previously questioned the motives and intentions of PUA, but please THIS IS NOT A PUA IS GOOD, BAD, UGLY thread so stay on topic. There are plenty of PUA threads here, so do a search if you want that debate.

what i do want to talk about are modern dating and relationships motives, intentions, and values.

stuff like changing values and norms over the past few decades that are often driven by a more commercial based economy and our livelihoods, decline in protestant values (just recognizing some of the origins of our country's founding), change in gender independence (feminism, career women, workplace adaptations), media influences, etc.

really, almost any influence on values and ethics that affect dating norms. like me, im sure many ppl believe women are the more "ethical gender", and Im not so sure if that is a fair assumption any more. please note i said assumption, not a generalization, just saying women and men should be given the same trust opportunities until proven otherwise. same goes for men, not all men are creeps, serial womanizers, rapists and murderers.

anyway, i think almost every thread on CDR involves norms and value, specific to our individualized experience and perspectives, which leads to the differences in opinion which we often see, and sometimes followed by character attacks for disagreeing. And what's more, i do think there are generational differences in this area.

one other thought: despite what others may believe, i do think both men and women "use" each other for wealth, beauty, and sex. it is wrong imho when it involves hidden or undisclosed motives. all good in my book if it's mutually consented too, [edit: even if unspoken or just recognized fact not worth discussing]

one more thought: i do believe that love that love is amorphous, it is dynamic. you can love your shoes, plants, pets, "your neighbors", job and coworkers, friends, "loved ones" and relationship love can transform for lust, romantic love, meaningful love, deep love, contentment and care love, endless love, etc. i'm not as idealistic as i was when i was in my 20s where i was careful using the word love when dating and having a gf. funny how life changes one's perspective.

thoughts?

Last edited by nokiddin; 10-14-2013 at 06:54 PM..
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Old 10-14-2013, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
39,023 posts, read 27,413,633 times
Reputation: 15942
Quote:
Originally Posted by nokiddin View Post

one other thought: despite what others may believe, i do think both men and women "use" each other for wealth, beauty, and sex. it is wrong imho when it involves hidden or undisclosed motives. all good in my book if it's mutually consented too.

thoughts?
well, no matter what kind of responses you receive on this thread, don't be surprised.

There have been great men and great women who have made this world such a better place. No matter what sex you are I leave you with this quote that applies to all of us. Be kind. Remember, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Thompson

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Old 10-14-2013, 10:58 PM
 
Location: socal baby
1,355 posts, read 2,540,103 times
Reputation: 928
well, i see this cause a rush of posters wanting to express their opinion. hmm i get it, sometime things are just too metaphysical or hurts the brain to respond.

but yes, i think it's very interesting to to see how dating and relationship standards have changed from my observations over the past 3 decades. amazing really.
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:43 AM
 
36,128 posts, read 30,603,369 times
Reputation: 32397
Since I'm old I really don't know a lot about modern dating or what if any motives, intentions or values young people have.

IMO at one time the motive was to find the love of your life, marry, raise a family and grow old together. Intention was to do the best you could to support your family financially, emotionally and spiritually. Raise your children to be decent productive citizens who would do the same. Values were based in personal responsibility, loyalty and selflessness.

The majority of people in my world still conduct their lives this way but I see many who don't seem to have any direction and date for the moment, until things don't go their way, they get board, or mad or whatever. They show no responsibility for cohesion of their relationship or for pregnancy or the future of their offspring. Its live in the moment and consequences be dammed.
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