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Sure, some women get physically violent with their male partners. But male violence against women is a far more prevalent and serious a problem than the reverse.
Sure, some men are prudish and sex-negative. But it is far more common for women in relationships to set limits on sexual adventurousness.
Yet, one cannot mention male violence against women without someone yelling, "But it's not just men!" One cannot mention female inhibitions about sex without someone complaining, "But there are men like that, too!"
Maybe the problem is people cannot tell the difference between general statements (very often true) and categorical ones (always true). Whatever the reason, too many threads get bogged down by people pointing out piddling little exceptions to things that are true in the vast majority of cases. It is very frustrating...
Sometimes it helps people to think more clearly, if they are aware of the exceptions.
For example, if they are assuming that something is genetic, and linked to gender, pointing out that it occurs in all genders might help them look for other causes. -- causes they can actually do something about.
Other times, people who only look at the world from the POV of one gender honestly have no idea of the extremity of a problem the other gender faces.
For me, the issue is with people who think that ALL men are violent or ALL women don't like sex - when really, those people are in the minority.
This. What puts my teeth on edge are blanket statements against ALL of a given gender. If someone states that all men are violent and controlling, because of the fact that men seem statistically more prone to violence then women (though I have my doubts, as men would be less inclined to report it), I definitely have a problem with that.
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This. What puts my teeth on edge are blanket statements against ALL of a given gender. If someone states that all men are violent and controlling, because of the fact that men seem statistically more prone to violence then women (though I have my doubts, as men would be less inclined to report it), I definitely have a problem with that.
But you see, I don't think that is what most people intend to say. I don't believe hardly anyone means ALL, ever. That is why I complain that people cannot tell the difference between general statements and categorical ones.
Frankly, I think a lot of people here are just very defensive and always feel like they are being personally attacked. They react by picking apart every minute detail of what somebody said, which either brings the discussion to a halt or sends it flying off on some totally irrelevant tangent.
But you see, I don't think that is what most people intend to say. I don't believe hardly anyone means ALL, ever. That is why I complain that people cannot tell the difference between general statements and categorical ones.
Frankly, I think a lot of people here are just very defensive and always feel like they are being somehow personally attacked. They react by picking apart every little minute detail of what somebody said, which either bring the discussion to a halt or sends it flying of on some totally irrelevant tangent.
Actually, some of them DO mean ALL. I only know because I've asked them to clarify. And even the ones that mean most and not all - well, do you think MOST men are rapists, abusers, or cheaters? I don't. I also don't think MOST women are gold diggers, liars, or frigid. There are some very reasonable people on here. And then there are other that blame the entire opposite sex for their woes in life. It just gets irritating.
But you see, I don't think that is what most people intend to say. I don't believe hardly anyone means ALL, ever. That is why I complain that people cannot tell the difference between general statements and categorical ones.
Frankly, I think a lot of people here are just very defensive and always feel like they are being personally attacked. They react by picking apart every minute detail of what somebody said, which either brings the discussion to a halt or sends it flying off on some totally irrelevant tangent.
But there is no way to know what they "intend", only what they say. I think blanket, negative stereotypes, whether gender, race, or religion-based, just propagate more of the same if they are left unchallenged.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Sure, some women get physically violent with their male partners. But male violence against women is a far more prevalent and serious a problem than the reverse.
Sure, some men are prudish and sex-negative. But it is far more common for women in relationships to set limits on sexual adventurousness.
Yet, one cannot mention male violence against women without someone yelling, "But it's not just men!" One cannot mention female inhibitions about sex without someone complaining, "But there are men like that, too!"
Maybe the problem is people cannot tell the difference between general statements (very often true) and categorical ones (always true). Whatever the reason, too many threads get bogged down by people pointing out piddling little exceptions to things that are true in the vast majority of cases. It is very frustrating...
we live in a world of insufferabley blandness when it comes to public commentary
everyone is alledgedly the same even they are not , its the tyranny of political correctness
People like to shift blame away from themselves. If "everyone" does something, it provides a mental "soft pillow" to provide them comfort and take the focus away from where the real (or bulk) of the problem really lies.
I agree with Dew too. Those who literally believe "all" of a group do something tend to be a problem.
All in all, gross generalizations run rampant through this forum and usually tend to be misleading at best.
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