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Old 10-15-2013, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 4,175,517 times
Reputation: 7820

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...when that clearly isn't the case?

Sure, some women get physically violent with their male partners. But male violence against women is a far more prevalent and serious a problem than the reverse.

Sure, some men are prudish and sex-negative. But it is far more common for women in relationships to set limits on sexual adventurousness.

Yet, one cannot mention male violence against women without someone yelling, "But it's not just men!" One cannot mention female inhibitions about sex without someone complaining, "But there are men like that, too!"

Maybe the problem is people cannot tell the difference between general statements (very often true) and categorical ones (always true). Whatever the reason, too many threads get bogged down by people pointing out piddling little exceptions to things that are true in the vast majority of cases. It is very frustrating...
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Old 10-15-2013, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 23,428,341 times
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For me, the issue is with people who think that ALL men are violent or ALL women don't like sex - when really, those people are in the minority.
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:03 PM
 
6,737 posts, read 9,334,965 times
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Sometimes it helps people to think more clearly, if they are aware of the exceptions.

For example, if they are assuming that something is genetic, and linked to gender, pointing out that it occurs in all genders might help them look for other causes. -- causes they can actually do something about.

Other times, people who only look at the world from the POV of one gender honestly have no idea of the extremity of a problem the other gender faces.
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,759 posts, read 49,376,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scout 31 View Post
"IF" women listened more than they spoke they might earn a million dollars.
Been awhile eh?
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
42,879 posts, read 27,981,233 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
For me, the issue is with people who think that ALL men are violent or ALL women don't like sex - when really, those people are in the minority.
This. What puts my teeth on edge are blanket statements against ALL of a given gender. If someone states that all men are violent and controlling, because of the fact that men seem statistically more prone to violence then women (though I have my doubts, as men would be less inclined to report it), I definitely have a problem with that.
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 4,175,517 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
This. What puts my teeth on edge are blanket statements against ALL of a given gender. If someone states that all men are violent and controlling, because of the fact that men seem statistically more prone to violence then women (though I have my doubts, as men would be less inclined to report it), I definitely have a problem with that.
But you see, I don't think that is what most people intend to say. I don't believe hardly anyone means ALL, ever. That is why I complain that people cannot tell the difference between general statements and categorical ones.

Frankly, I think a lot of people here are just very defensive and always feel like they are being personally attacked. They react by picking apart every minute detail of what somebody said, which either brings the discussion to a halt or sends it flying off on some totally irrelevant tangent.
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 23,428,341 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
But you see, I don't think that is what most people intend to say. I don't believe hardly anyone means ALL, ever. That is why I complain that people cannot tell the difference between general statements and categorical ones.

Frankly, I think a lot of people here are just very defensive and always feel like they are being somehow personally attacked. They react by picking apart every little minute detail of what somebody said, which either bring the discussion to a halt or sends it flying of on some totally irrelevant tangent.
Actually, some of them DO mean ALL. I only know because I've asked them to clarify. And even the ones that mean most and not all - well, do you think MOST men are rapists, abusers, or cheaters? I don't. I also don't think MOST women are gold diggers, liars, or frigid. There are some very reasonable people on here. And then there are other that blame the entire opposite sex for their woes in life. It just gets irritating.
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Old 10-15-2013, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
42,879 posts, read 27,981,233 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
But you see, I don't think that is what most people intend to say. I don't believe hardly anyone means ALL, ever. That is why I complain that people cannot tell the difference between general statements and categorical ones.

Frankly, I think a lot of people here are just very defensive and always feel like they are being personally attacked. They react by picking apart every minute detail of what somebody said, which either brings the discussion to a halt or sends it flying off on some totally irrelevant tangent.
But there is no way to know what they "intend", only what they say. I think blanket, negative stereotypes, whether gender, race, or religion-based, just propagate more of the same if they are left unchallenged.
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Old 10-16-2013, 06:13 AM
 
7,579 posts, read 9,219,435 times
Reputation: 4921
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
...when that clearly isn't the case?

Sure, some women get physically violent with their male partners. But male violence against women is a far more prevalent and serious a problem than the reverse.

Sure, some men are prudish and sex-negative. But it is far more common for women in relationships to set limits on sexual adventurousness.

Yet, one cannot mention male violence against women without someone yelling, "But it's not just men!" One cannot mention female inhibitions about sex without someone complaining, "But there are men like that, too!"

Maybe the problem is people cannot tell the difference between general statements (very often true) and categorical ones (always true). Whatever the reason, too many threads get bogged down by people pointing out piddling little exceptions to things that are true in the vast majority of cases. It is very frustrating...

we live in a world of insufferabley blandness when it comes to public commentary

everyone is alledgedly the same even they are not , its the tyranny of political correctness
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Old 10-16-2013, 06:17 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 17,733,650 times
Reputation: 11675
People like to shift blame away from themselves. If "everyone" does something, it provides a mental "soft pillow" to provide them comfort and take the focus away from where the real (or bulk) of the problem really lies.

I agree with Dew too. Those who literally believe "all" of a group do something tend to be a problem.

All in all, gross generalizations run rampant through this forum and usually tend to be misleading at best.
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