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Old 10-16-2013, 10:13 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upndown View Post
It's not even about being a prude. Who wants to be with someone that pretty much everyone has had? Like, let's say you're a successful guy with a good job and a good income. Why would you marry some woman who has has sex with a dozen guys who are just randoms who she ran into at the gym or down at the beach? Why not just hook up with her and dump her like they did? What's the point of investing anything in her?

It's just common sense. No guy wants to be with a woman who is easy.

A dozen guys doesn't equate with being easy for lets say a 28 year old woman. That is likely at most one guy a year. Hardly putting out a lot territory.

 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:13 AM
 
529 posts, read 699,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
If he did he was an A-hole and she deserves better. But there is a HUUUUGE difference between hooking up with someone different every week and dating someone for a couple of months and then dating someone else (while you're looking for the right person) over many years.
What's the difference? It's your personal line, right?
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:15 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I'm not seeing the benefit of marrying someone who "sucks in bed," i.e. someone you already don't enjoy having sex with. Because if you have sex and don't get married, you do realize you're one of the faceless pump-and-dump bad boys in her past.

I think it must be insecurity. They want to be with an inexperienced person because they don't want to be with someone that may have had or probably better lovers in their past. They also sound possessive as if they don't want "their woman" to have been "used" or has "gotten around" and they view it similar to a car or piece of furniture.
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:16 AM
 
529 posts, read 699,958 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
A dozen guys doesn't equate with being easy for lets say a 28 year old woman.
Again, that's coming from you. Let me put it this way and maybe we can agree. Shouldn't everyone be completely honest then about their sexual history? And then if 12 guys doesn't matter to you, that's fine and great. You two have fun and best of luck. But if 12 guys DOES matter to me, then I should be able to know and decide, right?

But the reality is that if a woman (or man) runs into a man (or woman) who it does matter to, then they go immediately into "gotta lie for damage control" mode, rather than be honest and let the other person decide "hey, I don't care" or "that's a deal-breaker." True?
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:17 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by upndown View Post
What's the difference? It's your personal line, right?

Because a 28 year old that hooks up every week is probably slept with several hundred people, and those are mostly one night stands. While a person that dates is actually having a relationship.

They could do what they want, I've dated both types. Even dated prudes, but can't deal with them long. Sex is supposed to be fun and not a weapon or something to be kept "sacred" or some such crud.
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:18 AM
 
809 posts, read 1,268,383 times
Reputation: 1432
Quote:
Originally Posted by upndown View Post
It's not even about being a prude. Who wants to be with someone that pretty much everyone has had? Like, let's say you're a successful guy with a good job and a good income. Why would you marry some woman who has has sex with a dozen guys who are just randoms who she ran into at the gym or down at the beach? Why not just hook up with her and dump her like they did? What's the point of investing anything in her?

It's just common sense. No guy wants to be with a woman who is easy.
Agreed. It's not someone worth taking home to meet your family or taking it to a higher level.

I'm not looking to criticize other women. But it's a personal preference and I can speak for dudes like me who work good jobs and belong to the higher income bracket.
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:18 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,277,940 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upndown View Post
That's fine, if you're honest about it. I'm just always amazed at how many people online say they are completely open about how many people they've had sex with and supposedly nobody minds. And yet in real life everyone lies and everyone minds.
I wouldn't date someone who minds.

I present myself well, I never dress provocatively, I am a grad student and work in a full-time corporate job. Not everyone who enjoys sex is walking around in crop tops and booty shorts, smoking a cig and wearing stripper heels. There are a lot of people in the world you would have no idea have a laundry list of sexual partners, enjoy S&M, are swingers etc. People pass and so others don't ask.

Happens in every aspect of life.

Millionaires dressed like slobs, no one asks them how much they make so no one ever knows.
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:19 AM
 
529 posts, read 699,958 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Because a 28 year old that hooks up every week is probably slept with several hundred people, and those are mostly one night stands. While a person that dates is actually having a relationship.
Sure, but that's your personal line. In other words, what if I was a woman who had sex with a different guy every single day? And you said that to me and I said "what's the difference, it's just sex? Are you a prude?" See, you call anyone who disapproves of YOU "a prude," but you have no problem saying someone who you disapprove of is messed up.
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:19 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by upndown View Post
Again, that's coming from you. Let me put it this way and maybe we can agree. Shouldn't everyone be completely honest then about their sexual history? And then if 12 guys doesn't matter to you, that's fine and great. You two have fun and best of luck. But if 12 guys DOES matter to me, then I should be able to know and decide, right?

But the reality is that if a woman (or man) runs into a man (or woman) who it does matter to, then they go immediately into "gotta lie for damage control" mode, rather than be honest and let the other person decide "hey, I don't care" or "that's a deal-breaker." True?

I my gut says "true", but I'm not so sure, as we're dealing with reality and not fantasy land. Unfortunately, there are lots of idiotic judgmental people out there with unrealistic standards and everyone has to learn how best to navigate that for themselves. I generally rarely think there is one right answer for everyone.
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:20 AM
 
529 posts, read 699,958 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
I wouldn't date someone who minds.
But you tell them all, right? That's all I'm asking. Not "I know they mind because I know them, so I don't tell them." You tell them whether they mind or not, right?
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