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generally women want guys that have money but can't admit it, so they have to make other stuff up appear righteous, like the meek Christian cop outs
There are some that do, but even broke guys get girls, I know of one guy who has 3 different women taking care of his bills right now, and he has not worked in years.
Fact is everybody has standards, and they all are different, we all have different preferences. Hell I used to hang around some women that had no interest in me, and it would always floor them how often other women would hit on me when they found out I was single.
I also have always been pretty choosey about women, I could not stand the ones that acted dumb, whether they were or not, and I hated the princesses that always had to have everybody around them go out of their way to please them. I wanted a woman that I could have a real conversation with, that was down to earth, and that I enjoyed being around without having to always work to kiss up.
There are some that do, but even broke guys get girls, I know of one guy who has 3 different women taking care of his bills right now, and he has not worked in years.
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I'm my experience at least its not at all rare to see single women (who aren't that attractive) demanding that "their" men have a laundry list of desirable characteristics and then they wonder why they are single or why they only get approached by the PUA guys that hit on anything.
Maybe that has more to do with who you choose to date and surround yourself with. It's common, and many people get into unhealthy patterns – but my dating history has more the opposite.
The majority of my ex-girlfriends came to me after they dated with no standards at all. Their exes before me were broke and refusing to work, in trouble with the law/headed to jail, drug/booze addicts, OR emotionally exploitative/abusive. (Any wonder why none of those relationships worked out? Well yeah, I was young, dumb, and full of you-know-what.) With the exception of one who reacted to abuse by abusing others, most of my exes were basically kind and decent women who had no standards at all and were too emotionally scarred by previous relationships to date in a healthy manner.
Of course, you may be basing your idea of the dating market off of sites like Craigslist which attract the lowest common denominator. Those sites also have a lot of people from Nigeria who claim they will ship a car or an entire house to me in NYC if I'll only pay them 50K.
People have a lot more in common than what they enjoy doing and what they think about? Sure, I can be an acquaintance of someone with a good heart and character, and I can respect and like them for it. Absolutely.
But that's not even a basis for a friendship, let alone a romantic relationship.
It's not an either / or situation. The choice is not either you find someone with a good heart OR you find someone you a lot in common with. You CAN have both, and of COURSE people are going to want that.
I'm would never date a guy just based upon good character, when we have nothing else in common. You need attraction, shared values, respect, enjoyment of each other's company, and similar goals.
I've said it before, being a "nice guy" is not a selling point by its self, it's the bare minimum starting point.
But there are so few people who are real "nice people or have great character" That was my point, isn't it more important to have that then anything else?
But there are so few people who are real "nice people or have great character" That was my point, isn't it more important to have that then anything else?
I don't agree that there are few good people. Almost all of my circle of family and friends are good people with good character.
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As a guy i think the problem with some standards is this? If your require such and such, like money? Then if i were to lose that money or standard? Does that mean, we are done? Because you wouldn't give me a chance for an date because of that? Just wondering.
Because what i have on the outside isn't me, it can come and go at anytime. Just like i can have everything and be a loser.
As a guy i think the problem with some standards is this? If your require such and such, like money? Then if i were to lose that money or standard? Does that mean, we are done? Because you wouldn't give me a chance for an date because of that? Just wondering.
Well, we'll use your standard of "money" in this example, as I see it:
Let's say the woman you are dating requires a man to be making 100k+ or so, in addition to the physical requirements that you meet as well as some emotional connection.
2 years into the relationship you lose your job, let's say you were laid off because the company changed hands and they were cleaning house and starting over. Certain women might immediately cut ties with you because it may take you some time for you to start making the same amount of money you were making, some women might give you time to recover and find another job before ending things. Some women will stick with you no matter what because that emotional bond they feel is so strong with you, it just depends on the kind of woman she is.
For some women, it's just a requirement before she opens herself up to dating you. For others, once she sees the man for the real person he is, and she loves that person, she's willing to stick to him through the worst times.
As a guy i think the problem with some standards is this? If your require such and such, like money? Then if i were to lose that money or standard? Does that mean, we are done? Because you wouldn't give me a chance for an date because of that? Just wondering.
Because what i have on the outside isn't me, it can come and go at anytime. Just like i can have everything and be a loser.
But that's my point. If people are upfront with their standards - at least you know where not to waste your time. For instance, if I was dating and some guy told me (or said in his online profile if I was doing online dating) that he only wanted women with fit women with big boobs and that fatties need not apply - I would not waste my time. Now, most of the time, I'm a pretty fit woman with big boobs - but I don't like his attitude. But instead of getting upset with him, I would be grateful to him for showing me who he is so that I don't waste my time.
But there are so few people who are real "nice people or have great character" That was my point, isn't it more important to have that then anything else?
I think most people are decent people. Maybe a bit selfish, but overall decent.
That said, I would. In that if there was a girl who was really nice and sweet and good gal, and I knew she really liked me, I'd date her, even if I wasn't too attracted to her.
Especially if I were younger. If I said I wouldn't date a super hot b@tch when I was younger, I'd be lying, so how is the first girl any more of a compromise. Not that either situation is any type of reality.
You have to understand other people have options up the ying yang. However many options you have affects what standards you have.
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