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I've posted sometimes but not often, let me introduce myself. I'm a french woman, nearly 39, long and short relationships behind me, and in a 6 years commited relationship now. (please forgive me for not using the exact words, but it is in a way the object of my thread)
I've been reading the relationship forum for a very long time and I'm very surprised, always, as how everything between men and women seems very "coded", and thus subject to interpretation and analysing in the USA.
I don't mean that nothing between men and women here ever gets to be questionned, but reading this forum, it's like everyone questions everything!
Dating for example : when is it a date, when is it not? I couldn't even translate the concept! You like someone, you go and take a coffee, period, no more no less, you just have a nice time!
I have a lot more to say but I'd like you to say your bit before if none of you mind? So that it's not a vindicative thread and informative, maybe fun, only
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by personne
That is exactly what I don't really get!
What better way of having great sex if not with someone you laugh already? Why should that be "coded" as in "date"?
Isn't it a lot of pressure when things could go naturally?
It doesn't have to be a date, it could be a FWB too.
Ok, I was joking with you a bit. But I can't speak for others, but I've never known people do be like "would you like to go on a date?". That is a movie thing from my experience. People will say "would you like to go see XYZ band on Friday night?" though. Whether that is a date or not depends on the intention of the person asking and the perspective of the person being asked. And YES, it does create some misunderstandings.
I have asked people on dates (not using that terminology) and they thought I was asking as a buddy. And I've asked people as a buddy and they thought I was asking them on a date. This is why we have forums I guess
But as far as the defining in general? Well, lots of people like their relationships and their dates defined. It affects expectations and how we act.
I've posted sometimes but not often, let me introduce myself. I'm a french woman, nearly 39, long and short relationships behind me, and in a 6 years commited relationship now. (please forgive me for not using the exact words, but it is in a way the object of my thread)
I've been reading the relationship forum for a very long time and I'm very surprised, always, as how everything between men and women seems very "coded", and thus subject to interpretation and analysing in the USA.
I don't mean that nothing between men and women here ever gets to be questionned, but reading this forum, it's like everyone questions everything!
Dating for example : when is it a date, when is it not? I couldn't even translate the concept! You like someone, you go and take a coffee, period, no more no less, you just have a nice time!
I have a lot more to say but I'd like you to say your bit before if none of you mind? So that it's not a vindicative thread and informative, maybe fun, only
this is the internet, it is not how people act in real life. the things i say here, i would rarely (if ever) say to anyone's face. that's kind of the point.
I've posted sometimes but not often, let me introduce myself. I'm a french woman, nearly 39, long and short relationships behind me, and in a 6 years commited relationship now. (please forgive me for not using the exact words, but it is in a way the object of my thread)
I've been reading the relationship forum for a very long time and I'm very surprised, always, as how everything between men and women seems very "coded", and thus subject to interpretation and analysing in the USA.
I don't mean that nothing between men and women here ever gets to be questionned, but reading this forum, it's like everyone questions everything!
Dating for example : when is it a date, when is it not? I couldn't even translate the concept! You like someone, you go and take a coffee, period, no more no less, you just have a nice time!
I have a lot more to say but I'd like you to say your bit before if none of you mind? So that it's not a vindicative thread and informative, maybe fun, only
I think a lot of the confusion comes from different expectations.
Many people, especially people in our age group (I am 44), take it for granted that finding your way into a committed relationship is the main purpose of dating. They evaluate the success or failure of a date based on how close it brings them to that goal.
But this the not case for many younger people. Especially not for many younger men. A lot of younger men (and some women) do not want committed relationships. They want casual sex, a short-term fling, or an open relationship. This creates problems and confusion when they socialize with people whose expectation are more traditional.
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