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You might keep in mind that the manners you are used to are not 'correct', they are just the manners of a culture different from the one she grew up in. I expect that, where she grew up, she is considered to have great table manners. And I also think she would love to learn your culture .
I didn't the the OP implied that it was a cultural issue as much as that her parents didn't teach her table manners growing up. It is a delicate issue, but the OP probably isn't the first person to notice, and it's the kind of thing that could damage her image on, say, a job interview.
There's no way to saying something like this to someone without embarrassing her, at least, a little, but if it's something that really bothers you then just tell her in a sweet, casual manner and it should be okay.
Apropos of nothing, I just got sort of yelled at by my girlfriend today for putting food in my mouth with my knife.
I encountered this a while back with an ex. He was never taught to eat with his mouth closed, not to make smacking noises, or to not talk with his mouth full. Unfortunately, it's probably my biggest pet peeve to "hear" people eat.
I can't remember how it came up, but I did mention it and he didn't even realize he did it. He stopped doing it for that meal, but then he went back to his old habits.
I loved him, but my ears did not. I was also worried that his lack of manners would hurt him career wise.
Even if you mention this to her, she's likely not going to change because she's done it for 20+ years. Learn to live with it or leave is my advice.
BUT, a significant other is not in the same category as the "general" population.
I think once you are having an intimate personal relationship with a partner you should be able to gently discuss these kinds of things.
I mean, why be in a relationship at all if you can't be comfortable with one another?
Oh, i agree with that.
I feel like the term "dating" is very ambiguous, though.
To me, it means a couple that have started seeing each other, spending time together, but not yet far enough along to be in an exclusive relationship.
OP, I grew up eating with my hands. We didn't have access to eating equipment as it was a luxury of the uber upper class. I have eaten everywhere, sometimes I had eaten on the side of the road in crowded city streets, squatting at the bus stop, waiting for the school bus
My father comes from a family of farmers (untouchables) and he grew up in huts and shacks and never learnt them himself. But he put me through school and college and taught me how to succeed.
Fast forward 33 years, I'm wearing suits and vests and attending executive dinners in New York City. I'm sure people pick on my table manners, but they have no idea the circle of life that I have ridden so far, from where I started and where I am now.
You should be considerate of that with the person you are dating. There are valid reasons why some people are not raised with something as trivial as table manners which used to be the way of the elite across ages. Don't be an elitist ass and be nice to her
Fast forward 33 years, I'm wearing suits and vests and attending executive dinners in New York City. I'm sure people pick on my table manners, but they have no idea the circle of life that I have ridden so far, from where I started and where I am now.
You should be considerate of that with the person you are dating. There are valid reasons why some people are not raised with something as trivial as table manners which used to be the way of the elite across ages. Don't be an elitist ass and be nice to her
Nobody is criticizing her for WHY she eats like this. The OP and everyone here understands it. Nonetheless, poor manners can be a detriment in business and personal relationships, regardless of how understandable it is that one acquired poor manners. If her eating habits are really bothering him in their personal relationship, he can either ignore it or kindly bring it up and offer help. I DO think he'd be doing her a favor by offering her help. Poor manners absolutely can hold you back in life.
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