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I mean, there's lots of guys who don't get called hot or attractive.
There's women too, just less.
My point was that attractiveness is pretty static. Although most people don't complain because most people have others who think they are hot.
This might be part of the OP, but I think more men than women look at "hotness" as a criteria in attractiveness. If a guy tells a friend that he met a woman, the response is probably "is she hot?" more than any other question, whereas, I think women are more likely to ask, "what's he like?" I've been attracted to all the guys I've dated, obviously, but I didn't go after them because they were hot.
I've had almost this exactly conversation with a few of my guy friends...they complain that women never find them attractive and that they'll be lonely forever. If I mention that one of my friends actually thinks they're hot/fine/attractive/cute/handsome etc. they'll brush it off if she isn't hot enough for them. The ugly women's opinions simply don't count.
I wonder how often this is the case? In fact, I've told at least 5 of them that I thought they were attractive and they immediately brushed me off with the 'but I only see you as a friend/sister' and then went back to complaining about how nobody wanted them.
You might have a point here. I'm a man and I've witnessed this to an extent. Even though I would say the majority of single men I know just want SOMEONE interested in them
I've known men who have said no one wanted them but later found out they had women interested in them it was just that they were shy/didnt know how to act on it or didnt want those girls because of looks(werent up to standard in their opinion)
I don't put a lot of stock into looks... I've never once dated a man who looks like that I think a "good looking/hot man" looks like. Like I said, while it would be a bonus, to me, it's just not that important.
I think this is typical for women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
If a guy tells a friend that he met a woman, the response is probably "is she hot?" more than any other question, whereas, I think women are more likely to ask, "what's he like?"
Yes!
One thing that seems to be really confusing guys in this thread (and IRL) is that when women say a guy is attractive, they are not referring to looks.
Yeah, give that one a minute to sink in.
If a woman thinks a man is pretty to look at, she will say something different. She'll say he is handsome, or hot, or whatever. And this does not imply that she would be willing to date him.
In fact, she probably would not, any more than she would be willing to date a beautiful rose bush. The rose bush is thorny and therefore incompatible. It's prettiness is to be enjoyed, but not in bed.
I think this one fact is a huge source of confusion between men and women. Women are baffled at the way a man can consider a female stranger dateable just based on looks. And men think 'attractive' refers to visuals.
I've had almost this exactly conversation with a few of my guy friends...they complain that women never find them attractive and that they'll be lonely forever. If I mention that one of my friends actually thinks they're hot/fine/attractive/cute/handsome etc. they'll brush it off if she isn't hot enough for them. The ugly women's opinions simply don't count.
I wonder how often this is the case? In fact, I've told at least 5 of them that I thought they were attractive and they immediately brushed me off with the 'but I only see you as a friend/sister' and then went back to complaining about how nobody wanted them.
There is a famous short story called 'The women men don't see'.
And it's true. i think that to most men, the majority of women are invisible. Or at least they do not count as women.
A friend was telling me about her teenage participation in protest campouts in Europe (similar to Occupy). The police had the protest camps cordoned off. Middle-aged women would bring supplies and weapons into the camps, though, in their purses, because the police did not search them. They thought these ladies could not possibly be a threat. They didn't look like the young (hot) wild-haired protesters.
There is a famous short story called 'The women men don't see'.
And it's true. i think that to most men, the majority of women are invisible. Or at least they do not count as women.
A friend was telling me about her teenage participation in protest campouts in Europe (similar to Occupy). The police had the protest camps cordoned off. Middle-aged women would bring supplies and weapons into the camps, though, in their purses, because the police did not search them. They thought these ladies could not possibly be a threat. They didn't look like the young (hot) wild-haired protesters.
That's TOTAL BS!
I have asked out EVERY type of woman over the years. Not to say they all should have gone out with me. Everybody has physical standards and obviously they did too when they rejected me.
But I'm sick of the sentiment that there's a horde of chubby shy females who are modest and ignored and are begging to be asked out by men. It doesn't exist.
They just don't get attention from the men THEY WANT.
Imagine you and a few female friends are looking at a group of 10 guys. Not celebrities, just normal guys, around your age. Looking at them and talking about which of them you would date and/or bang. Don't try to tell me you don't do this .
Do you and your friends agree on who? Do you all want the same guy, as your first choice? Or do you want different guys, and laugh over each other's choices?
For me and my friends, it's the second one -- we want different guys. Although we might agree on some of the 'no way' ones.
Men can answer too: The assumption around here seems to be that you all agree on who is hottest. But is that true?
Never have me and a bunch of girls sat around and looked at pics of guys and discussed who we would "bang".
We HAVE discussed who we thought was attractive. And in every case, it was different guys.
I have asked out EVERY type of woman over the years. Not to say they all should have gone out with me. Everybody has physical standards and obviously they did too when they rejected me.
But I'm sick of the sentiment that there's a horde of chubby shy females who are modest and ignored and are begging to be asked out by men. It doesn't exist.
They just don't get attention from the men THEY WANT.
Truth. I made a thread about this last year. It's a big difference
There is a famous short story called 'The women men don't see'.
And it's true. i think that to most men, the majority of women are invisible. Or at least they do not count as women.
A friend was telling me about her teenage participation in protest campouts in Europe (similar to Occupy). The police had the protest camps cordoned off. Middle-aged women would bring supplies and weapons into the camps, though, in their purses, because the police did not search them. They thought these ladies could not possibly be a threat. They didn't look like the young (hot) wild-haired protesters.
Oh please the majority of women i see pushing strollers and holding hands are not beauties yet they somehow manage to find relationships so unless theyre putting a gun to these guys heads forcing them to marry them men cant be as shallow as you claim..
Some I have very similar taste too. Others it is polar opposite.
For example, last weekend I was out with 2 friends. We walked the host at the bar we went to was very attractive. When we left one friend commented on him. We all agreed. But this was surprising. Since generally the 3 of us have zero overlap at all.
But if I was with one of my other besties, it would have been no question. We would have both thought he was hot.
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