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I've noticed on this forum and on others that anytime someone is unhappy in a relationship the advice given by others is pretty much always to walk away. It could someone who is dating someone for two years or someone married 10+ years with kids. The advice is typically something like, be true to yourself, find what you really want and leave.
I am not suggesting people stay with someone who makes them miserable or is abusive but sometimes people are just miserable in general. I've seen people leave marriages to go on and be unhappy with someone else.
Is it a thing of the past to work on a relationship even if there is a lot at stake (kids involved).
We wonder why there are so many divorces and I often think it's because so many people don't try.
On the other hand I dont know a whole lot of people who get divorced. I come from a huge family and it seems like NO ONE gets a divorce. Maybe they're all perfectly happy or maybe not and they've chosen to work things out. But in the internet world when people are on their keyboards offering advice it always seems to be, 'leave OP, you deserve the best, you deserve to have the life you've always wanted.' I think this is true to a point but marriage is a commitment. People can change within a marriage, a marriage can have it's boring moments and leaving doesn't always seem to be the best choice to me.
I think people should try harder to work things out especially if they have kids together, or even stepkids they have raised together.
I think its just the easiest advice to give to leave. Relationship issues are complex and its hard to advise strangers on the Internet.
But if there is no abuse involved or serious issues say substance abuse or gambling addiction, if you have committed, leaving should be the last resort. Not something to do because you are bored or are experiencing a lull in the relationship. I don't think divorce should be normalized.
It takes one person to leave...it takes at least 2 people (and maybe a therapist!) to have even a chance at staying together.
And oftentimes by the time someone is posting here, trust has been broken, respect and communication aren't happening (or never existed) and the effort it would take to get the relationship back in functional order isn't worth it. People should take their commitments seriously and make an effort to be a good partner on a daily basis, but at the same time no one should have to jump through hoops to preserve something that isn't working and perhaps doesn't need to be saved.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 03-02-2022 at 03:38 PM..
I get that sometimes things are beyond repair and it does take 2.
If someone is being treated badly it should probably end but if someone is unhappy with a partners new job hours or cooking then it could be worth fixing.
I get that sometimes things are beyond repair and it does take 2.
If someone is being treated badly it should probably end but if someone is unhappy with a partners new job hours or cooking then it could be worth fixing.
And if the partner doesn't want to 'fix' anything...what then?
I've noticed on this forum and on others that anytime someone is unhappy in a relationship the advice given by others is pretty much always to walk away. It could someone who is dating someone for two years or someone married 10+ years with kids. The advice is typically something like, be true to yourself, find what you really want and leave.
I am not suggesting people stay with someone who makes them miserable or is abusive but sometimes people are just miserable in general. I've seen people leave marriages to go on and be unhappy with someone else.
Is it a thing of the past to work on a relationship even if there is a lot at stake (kids involved).
We wonder why there are so many divorces and I often think it's because so many people don't try.
On the other hand I dont know a whole lot of people who get divorced. I come from a huge family and it seems like NO ONE gets a divorce. Maybe they're all perfectly happy or maybe not and they've chosen to work things out. But in the internet world when people are on their keyboards offering advice it always seems to be, 'leave OP, you deserve the best, you deserve to have the life you've always wanted.' I think this is true to a point but marriage is a commitment. People can change within a marriage, a marriage can have it's boring moments and leaving doesn't always seem to be the best choice to me.
Why are so many quick to tell people to leave?
Or they keep up a Mayberry front for appearance sake.
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