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It's supposed to say "Shorter" in the title. But I apparently forgot how to English.
Okay, so I've hung out with this one guy a couple times that I met at work. And he's really fun to talk to, and he makes me laugh a lot, which is one of the main factors for me. However, he's a couple inches shorter than me. And I've always tried to not be a very shallow person, and I really don't want this to bother me, but the problem is that I'm so insecure about myself. I'm 5' 7", so a lot of guys are shorter than me, especially ones that are interested in me for some reason.
And I'm about average human-shaped, a little more, but I think I'm considered diamond-shaped? So it still sorta spreads enough to look average-y. But I also have large hands for a girl, possibly due to genetics from my dad and also growing up playing the piano. So, the idea of being with him is just awkward to me because he's like, smaller, lol. And there are a lot of other body issues as well, so I'm just uncomfortable in my own skin. So, I was wondering, does anyone have experience with dating shorter guys? Or advice on how to overcome insecurities?
How to overcome your body issues: realize and rejoice in the fact that he likes you just the way you are! That's a huge blessing. Plus, he's "really fund to talk to" and makes you laugh. This sounds like a great guy! Who cares how tall he is? HE'S INTO YOU! And he sounds like a great guy. You'd be a fool to pass him up, just because of 2 inches. If he thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, and he's a fun and decent guy, what more do you want? If you still have insecurities knowing that he's INTO YOU, the total package you, then get therapy for your issues.
btw, piano playing doesn't cause large hands. Jt works the other way around: Piano gets recommended to kids who exhibit broad hands. No one but you and piano teachers notice that.
I'm 5'7 too. I don't care how tall/short someone is. I care that they're smart, have a good heart, are honest, and are fun to be with. Get your priorities straight, and happiness can be yours.
I don't know. I've been with girls taller than me, but I've always avoided long term relationships with girls taller than me. I don't like kissing up haha. I'm 5' 7".
I find it interesting that men who say they only want to date women shorter than they are perfectly acceptable....but if a woman says she wants a man taller all hell breaks loose.
I'm 6'1, I've dated as short as 5'4 and my current guy is 6'3ish.
I really don't want this to bother me, but the problem is that I'm so insecure about myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarshipU
kind of presents as a problem to me because I'm self-conscious.
it might be a problem for you as long as you're insecure about your body. some women like to date guys larger than them because it makes them feel smaller and feminine. i think if a woman is insecure this respect it can get multiplied, and from your posts i'm guessing that's the case for you
that said, i don't think you have some sort of obligation here. if you prefer to date taller guys, it's OK to date taller guys. it may just be a deal breaker with this guy
i do think it's admirable you recognize the issue and hope you can work past it with your man. good luck!
one a side note, i know there are other reasons to date taller guys, not all women feel the way i described above, and liking taller guys is not necesarily a sign of insecurity. i just know some do - i've had women tell me this personally - and the OP reminded me of this. just to head off any indignant replies
it might be a problem for you as long as you're insecure about your body. some women like to date guys larger than them because it makes them feel smaller and feminine. i think if a woman is insecure this respect it can get multiplied, and from your posts i'm guessing that's the case for you
that said, i don't think you have some sort of obligation here. if you prefer to date taller guys, it's OK to date taller guys. it may just be a deal breaker with this guy
i do think it's admirable you recognize the issue and hope you can work past it with your man. good luck!
one a side note, i know there are other reasons to date taller guys, not all women feel the way i described above, and liking taller guys is not necesarily a sign of insecurity. i just know some do - i've had women tell me this personally - and the OP reminded me of this. just to head off any indignant replies
Yeah, to be more specific, I just don't really feel very feminine, which makes me even more insecure with a guy who kinda makes me feel more masculine than I want to be.
I want to just keep going through with it and see what happens. But I also don't want to pretty much lead this guy on if I end up not being able to deal with it myself. It's not fair to him to practically be an experiment, lol. But it really does help me see that other people have no problem with this. But I wish the ones that have said they dated/are dating shorter guys/taller girls would go into more detail about their relationships, just so I have some specific things to go on, haha.
How to overcome your body issues: realize and rejoice in the fact that he likes you just the way you are! That's a huge blessing. Plus, he's "really fund to talk to" and makes you laugh. This sounds like a great guy! Who cares how tall he is? HE'S INTO YOU! And he sounds like a great guy. You'd be a fool to pass him up, just because of 2 inches. If he thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, and he's a fun and decent guy, what more do you want? If you still have insecurities knowing that he's INTO YOU, the total package you, then get therapy for your issues.
btw, piano playing doesn't cause large hands. Jt works the other way around: Piano gets recommended to kids who exhibit broad hands. No one but you and piano teachers notice that.
I'm 5'7 too. I don't care how tall/short someone is. I care that they're smart, have a good heart, are honest, and are fun to be with. Get your priorities straight, and happiness can be yours.
The piano thing, yeah, I just threw that in there more as a joke, lol.
And thank you for the input! If you don't mind me asking, have you dated anyone shorter than yourself? If so, I'd really like to hear about your experiences!
I find it interesting that men who say they only want to date women shorter than they are perfectly acceptable....but if a woman says she wants a man taller all hell breaks loose.
I'm 6'1, I've dated as short as 5'4 and my current guy is 6'3ish.
Very good point! Social norms aren't very fair, lol.
But I also don't want to pretty much lead this guy on if I end up not being able to deal with it myself. It's not fair to him to practically be an experiment
there's nothing wrong with dating to find out what you like/want/need
in fact it's almost impossible to avoid, especially early on with a new person and when you're young
being uncertain and continuing to date him is fine. the fact you're looking for advice suggests to me you will be fair about it. uncertainty is not the same as manipulation i hope it goes well for you
on a side note, if you haven't slept with him, maybe he'll turn out to be a tarzan in the sack and lay all your fears to rest
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i hope it goes well for you
