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Old 11-20-2007, 01:35 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 4,384,299 times
Reputation: 692

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Torn2pieces View Post
I agree with Fiddle - I have a feeling this guy is married, or very involved with another person!

I don't think he is married. I think it's a cultural thing and he is hiding it from his family.
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Old 11-20-2007, 01:46 PM
 
Location: I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
3,401 posts, read 13,354,832 times
Reputation: 5774
Ladies ladies, I said it could be either or, if you read it right (maybe I just wrote it and it came out wrong!)

He could be married, he could have racial conflicts on the homefront. Either way, it's sending a bad vibe.

Last edited by Marylandkitten; 11-20-2007 at 02:01 PM..
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Old 11-20-2007, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,883 posts, read 30,181,434 times
Reputation: 19077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiddlekitten View Post
Ladies ladies, I said it could be either or, if you read it right

He could be married, he could have racial conflicts on the homefront. Either way, it's sending a bad vibe.
I agree....

I believe though, I would have a talk with him, and if he didn't understand, then, I'd move on...no matter what, it seems like the entire relationship is based on, "on his terms". What do you think?

Hugs to ya kitten
Creme
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Old 11-20-2007, 02:05 PM
 
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 6,458,818 times
Reputation: 2641
Maybe he's embarrassed about his living situation... perhaps he lives with his parents or is a complete slob (or both). In any case, it's a little strange that he's acting that way...
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Old 11-20-2007, 04:19 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,765 posts, read 40,091,372 times
Reputation: 18068
Quote:
Originally Posted by marieangelique View Post
I've been dating a guy for about 4 months. We have a pretty good relationship. We talk on the phone daily, send cute little text messages, and go on a date about once or twice a week. There is just one thing that bothers me. I have never been to his home, and he has told me that he never mentioned me to any of his family.

Also, I don't think it's a race issue, because he previously dated a black woman, who he did introduce to his mom.
Being Chinese, I think that he isn't serious enough about you to introduce you to his family yet. Maybe he's not worried about their disapproval but they want him to start thinking about settling down marriage-wise. Give him another two months before pushing the issue. Imo, dating once or twice a week isn't a serious relationship. I don't think that he cheating on you, but he's not into having a fulltime girlfriend yet either.
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Old 11-20-2007, 05:25 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 4,384,299 times
Reputation: 692
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Being Chinese, I think that he isn't serious enough about you to introduce you to his family yet. Maybe he's not worried about their disapproval but they want him to start thinking about settling down marriage-wise. Give him another two months before pushing the issue. Imo, dating once or twice a week isn't a serious relationship. I don't think that he cheating on you, but he's not into having a fulltime girlfriend yet either.
Yes, I agree. I think this is more of a cultural family issue than a "low-down cheating S.O.B." issue.
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Old 11-21-2007, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Missouri Ozarks
7,395 posts, read 19,307,480 times
Reputation: 4078
I thought about the racial thing until you said that he has already introduced an AfricanAmerican to his family. Maybe that didn't go over too well.
I have Asian friends. They have a son in his 30's who has never married because his parents want to set him up with a nice Chinese gal and he's attracted to dark haired, blue eyed white women.
He wants to please them so he doesn't even date.
I've tried to get them to lighten up some but they have opinions so I keep my mouth shut now.
I think the guy you're dating falls into this category but I would have a talk with him and see where you stand.
The phone calls and the texts can keep you interested for so long and then it's time to move on.
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Old 11-21-2007, 05:46 PM
 
Location: SE Florida
9,367 posts, read 25,171,575 times
Reputation: 9454
Why not invite his folks over for dinner? Like Mommabear said, maybe they are all cramped into the house with the other family living there or the house is a mess and he is embarassed.
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Old 11-24-2007, 03:15 PM
 
468 posts, read 1,635,425 times
Reputation: 207
You mentioned he's previously dated a black woman before. How long were they in a relationship before he introduced her?

It's true that Asian parents are usually conservative when dealing with relationships.

If he introduced her after a month or something yeah, I'd say he's married or living a double life or something....
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Old 11-24-2007, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 12,650,185 times
Reputation: 9547
After reading your post, I had a lot of red flag feelings. Something is not right here. You deserve better.
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